Patience, Patience...Day 166/Day 15/Day 26/Day 4

I had an interesting religious conversation with Gil on the way home Wednesday night and he perpetuated it this morning except he wanted to talk about a different conversation this morning. He said that while on a different conversation partially about another mutual friend of ours, it seemed to him that our talk on looking good for others struck a cord for me. He asked me if I thought it was important what other people thought of me.

I told him it was odd that he mentioned that because I was just thinking about that this morning. I'm not going to care what other people think. I just don't like the way that sounds. "I don't care...". I think I'm not going to worry about what other people think sounds better. That was probably because I had read a page or two of that Max Lucado book Kim had given me and one part was on worry and after breaking it down, wrote that only 8% of the things we worry about are things that we can actually change or actually matter. I told Gil that worrying about other people's thoughts used to be a big problem for me. I told him I'm trying to get rid of this. I'd like people to see a difference in me or I'd like them to see how a Christian acts in his daily life, and in the coming months and years I will learn better how to do so.

Speaking of months and years, I don't want it to be months and years. I want that wisdom and knowledge and spiritual confidence now. To quote a favorite movie of mine "I want Him found. Not tomorrow. Not after breakfast. NOW!" The warden from Shawshank Redemption was talking about Andy Dufresne. I'm talking about God. I want everyone to find Him. Now. I want all the knowledge of Pastor Don and Pastor Bob and Dennis and Jim Kirkland. Now. I mean this in what I hope is a healthy way. I know this walk with Jesus is not a sprint to some kind of finish line. I know it is not a race with others. I know all of those men, and many others, have worked and studied hard for the knowledge they have. I just sort of feel like a kid again when it come to being a Christian. I want to soak all the new knowledge in like my kids do. They all seem like sponges to knowledge. They realize the importance of it and continue to do well. I feel the same way. Much of it will come in time. Much of knowledge of these men, or even the knowledge of friends like Mary, Wendy, Jerry, Scott and my best friend Kim may never reach me. I'm just glad, as Jim has mentioned a couple of times, I have an eternity to learn. When you look at it that way, you realize you may as well stop and smell the roses once in a while, so you can enjoy all the beauty that He has created.

This speaks to the patience I'm working on. That is something I'm working on that is right up there with remaining positive. My patience is tested in many different ways. One of those ways is at the Awana's program. I have to be patient with the children as they recite their verses, and I have to be patient with them when I ask them questions about those verses, especially when they have no answers. I have to be patient when they start to get rowdy and patient with them individually when they are not acting as they should. I have to be patient with my daughter as she learns every week and patient with the new kids we are bringing every week.

At Awanas last night, Breanna brought a friend. Her name was Amanda and she was very quiet. I went over the book we give the new Sparks and while she seemed to understand everything I was saying, I don't think she said a word. I hope whe enjoyed herself and keeps coming.

Man, it's fun working with little kids like that. We end up playing with the 1st graders and the kindergarteners as well and many of them seem like just the most innocent little children you could imagine. We're there to teach them what we can, let them have fun while doing it, learn from them if we can, and, most importantly, to glorify God in our lives. We pray that they see that and know that they are there to learn more about Him, to have fun and receive the occasional rewards.

By the time I got home from dropping the last of the children off, it was almost 10:00 and Noah was still up. I was able to put him in bed, and this time we said prayers in Gabrielle's room. Gabrielle always has quite a bit to say. Kim and I had a knowing chuckle after her prayer last night. Sometimes it doesn't seem like the prayer is going to end. It's awesome. Hopefully sometime soon we'll be able to say prayers with Noah and not worry about him crawling all over us while we pray. He makes praying with one's eyes closed and praying without outright laughter nearly impossible. Glory to God for things such as these. Thank you, Lord.