Tornado

I realized today I'll never be a tornado. I can be the best me I can be, but I'll never be a tornado. I am not trying to attain tornadoism, but there are aspects of tornadoism that I would like to attain. Like hopping on something right away. A tornado only has one chance to destroy. I have but one chance to do it right the first time. Doing something right the second or third time is not good enough.

Been wanting to do this for a while. Interesting my blog starts my spiritual journey. I was trying to be more positive after seeing a psychiatrist, so I numbered the days trying to make it to a year. It's almost 7 years later. I'm an elder now. Who woulda thunk? Not me. A spiritual journey is a journey with God. I had no idea I was on a journey for the first 35 years of my life. Now I have assurance that that journey is going to "end" with Him. How comforting. "I know that you are for me" by Kari Jobe. I need to ramble occasionally. Get some of my thoughts out of my head. Want to read the bible more. We were doing so well. How to get back on track? Read a bunch on Saturday? We'll see. God give us the want to get into your Word. You alone are worthy to be praised. We want to to praise you by wanting to get to know you. Games less. Bible more. Think you can do it? No. Writing more? Think you can do it? Nah. Can I set a goal far enough away but still able to reach? Don't think so. With God's help I believe I can, but the vicious cycle make me think I'm alone. The devil taunts and accuses me. I'm imprisoned in my own life (Stand up by Fireflight). That's enough for now.

All I am is Yours...

I really need to get to bed. I really need to do a lot of things, but the most responsible thing would be to go to bed. Some last minute web-surfing before I go back to work tomorrow led me to facebook, which led me to soul fire, which led me to my blog. I haven't blogged since our first Tiger game of the year and this weekend, we went to our third on Saturday. Great game by the way. It was nice to not be at a nail-biter with the Tigers ahead most of the game. The fireworks after the game were awesome. Once I placed my hands over Noah's ears, we were all able to settle down and watch the show.

We watch the show last night again, but this time at the Lanza's. We got as close as we have ever watched the Lapeer fireworks and I dare say it was the best ever.

Church was great too. I know some people just don't get into the worship much, and there are times where I don't feel I am worshiping as I should, but Sunday was awesome. Last time I was up in the video booth, the worship group sang the Stand, so I thought they might play it again just as a coincidence and they did. It's really great to watch from my vantage point above it all. When the song gets to:

"So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all"

so many people lift up their hands to God. For the second time ever (the first being the last time they did that song), so did I. I think I've gotten better at understanding the difference between my emotion and my worship, but it was still powerful stuff.

The sermon was equally wonderful. None of us are as grateful to what God has done for us or through us or for others. If we were, we'd spend a lot more time in prayer and worship. I really need to pray for that kind of dedication. While the sermon may be pointing out something we really need to work on, it strengthens my faith more than anything. That's going to happen when you know what you're hearing is The Truth.

What a great weekend with the family. So glad there are many more to come...

Just another day at the park...

Getting up at 5:15 was kind of tough for me, but made easier with the knowledge I was about to have a very special day with my kids. I had no idea how special. Even though Home Plate didn't start till 9:30, I wanted to get there at 8:00 when the gates opened. We pulled into Dennis' driveway at 6:12. "What happened to 6:30?", he says as he grabs his jersey out of his van.

We had checked the weather before we left and there was a 100% chance of rain between 9:00-11:00. By the time we get onto I-75, it's a steady downpour. I kept my eyes on the road, but couldn't help but catch glimpses of lightning that were lighting up the sky. The kids and I thought it was a pretty awesome show. We pull into my usual parking spot at 7:45 and it's still coming down pretty good. There was no one around to take our money for parking so I grabbed my umbrella and everything else I had brought and we started walking. We made our way to the gate just in time...to wait. After a short wait, they let us in and we found a seat under the awning which was as far as we could go until the lightning passed. It finally did, but we were comfortable, could see everything quite nicely and decided not to move. Then I thought out loud: "When are we ever going to get a chance to sit in the front row again?" I took the kids down and we took a seat in the front row.

It was still raining when Mary and Allison showed up, but they found us and Allison got to sit in the front row as well. We looked around, took some pictures until, for the 6000 believers there, God made his presence known. It stopped raining. Just as Home Plate was to begin, the rain just stopped. I don't mean it slowed to a steady sprinkle, it stopped. It would not rain the rest of the day.

Jeff Totten walked out, said a prayer, and introduced Adam Everett, the Tiger's shortstop. Next was Ramon Santiago, then Willie Horton. After Willie came a surprise: Jason Hanson, the Detroit Lions kicker who expressed his faith beautifully. Donnie Kelly spoke next and last was Frank Tanana, a former Tigers pitcher. Everyone of these men had some wonderful ways to convey their love of God, and they were doing it right in front of us. My kids were hearing every word and seemed to be as enthralled as I was. When Frank finished speaking, Jeff walked out again, said a closing prayer and told us that the on the field clinic would not be on the field today because of the rain. I was really looking forward to walking around on the field with my kids and close family, but it was not to be; He had other plans.

As Jeff was asking us stay in our seats until they dismissed us, he also told us there would be certain sections where the clinics would be held. The players would speak from the field and would rotate to each of the four sections before they were done. As we were waiting to be dismissed, they began setting up the speakers, and set the microphone directly in front of us. We just happened to be in one of those four sections. We saved our seats, went to get some food, and came back to see several thousand more people eagerly awaiting the clinic. When it was ready to go, Tiger's catcher Alex Avila walked almost directly up to us and starting taking questions on the finer points of catching. He had a wry smile on his face like he had not had the chance to do something like this before, but it looked like he was having fun. After Alex, Tigers rookie and current second baseman, Scott Sizemore, walked up to us, having just hit his first home run last night. Scott talked about fielding and took questions until it was Austin Jackson's turn. Austin, the Tiger's centerfielder who had just hit 5 hits last night, and has more hits than any other rookie in the Majors, talked about, what else? Hitting. The guy is always smiling and looks like he's having a great time.

Once he left, and after I had taken a ton of pictures by this time, I thought "All they have left is pitching." Right on cue walked up Rick Porcello, the Tiger's pitcher who had just won last night's game. As he and the Tiger's pitching coach talked and answered questions, I realized this would be the last player that would come around. I spotted the ball in his hand and told Colton he should ask for the baseball. Colton didn't want to, so I forgot about it for a minute till the two minute mark was broadcast by the announcer. "Ya gonna ask him?", I said. "Nah, I don't want to." Again, I thought when would I ever get this chance again. Once the hitting coach had finished talking, I spoke up: "Hey, Rick!" He glanced at us sitting in the first row. "Can he have your ball?", pointing at Colton. A fan behind me who had asked a good question earlier remarked "He didn't say please!" Rick made the motion to toss him the ball, but the hitting coach started talking again. I suppose just in case another question was asked, he wanted to have the ball still in his hand. The announcer came over the loud speaker again, telling us and the players that the clinic was over. Rick walked right up to us, and gave Colton the ball. His face lit up like a Christmas tree and both of smiled all the way up to the third deck.

It's a long way away from the players up there, but the view is amazing. I got to talk to Dave Ledbetter and his family for a few minutes and Pastor Bob sat right next to us. For me, the game flew by, but I got to explain the first pitch and the seventh inning stretch to Gabrielle. When they asked for frozen lemonade, they got frozen lemonade. When they wanted a pretzel, we went and grabbed a couple pretzels. We put our arms around each other for "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" and swayed to the beat. We tried to get the wave going to no avail, but got to participate in one later. We got to see the catcher throw out a would be stealer twice and we got to see Johnny Damon throw someone out at home from the outfield, which almost never happens for him. The game was full of spectacular moments.

It seems every time I go to a game, there's a late inning homer, and I mentioned that to the kids before the game. The chances of it happening again I knew were slim, but it was 2 to 2 in the bottom of the ninth and the Tigers came to bat. "Someone's hitting a home run to end it", I told Colton. "Yep", he says, and after thinking about it a moment he says "and it's going to be Johnny Damon." Austin Jackson comes up first and put up a good fight till he finally gets out. The next hitter is Johnny Damon, who had zero homers for the Tigers coming into today, and Colton and I exchange glances. From our vantage point every pop fly looked like a home run and Johnny Damon looked like he hit a pop fly that was going to land harmlessly in the outfield, but the ball kept going. It kept going until it landed in the first row behind the wall, and the crowd goes nuts. "I called it!", he says to everyone who will listen. Our smiles as we left our seats were almost as big as the ones when we had walked to our seats. What an amazing day.

Thank you, God, for blessings like rain when we want the sun to shine. Thank you for a wonderful immediate and extended family. Thank you for touching the players' lives the way you have and allowing them to speak to all of us. Thank you for allowing us to hear what they had to say, and thank you for changing our lives the way you have. Amen

Thoughts--Day 12

I had just finished my last blog, when I realized how what I considered my biggest blessings were glaringly missing from what I had been writing. Hardly a mention at all about the family. I suppose I take their greatness for granted. I can honestly say I've spent more time with each of them, though. I believe Kim and I have talked a bit more. And speaking of our talking, I feel she has grown spiritually quite a bit. That's between her and God, but the Holy Spirit seems to have had quite an effect on her through Bible study, church worship, and our friends. I love hearing her thoughts, questions and answers. I think I admire her selflessness the most, but all in all, she makes me a better person and really helps in my endeavor to be be a better disciple.

The kids and I were watching a movie this week, and as I lay there on the couch enjoying the movie, Gabrielle gets up from her chair and lays on the couch directly in front of me. I put my arm around her and we spent the rest of the movie that way. I thought right away that would have never happened had I been sitting in my computer chair. It hits me now how few times that has happened over the years.

I checked out Chris Tomlin's version of "Exalted" on youtube. I like our worship team's version more. Justin seems to like that one and he and the others do a great job with it. There's another song I like but it seems too fast for the congregation, so I tried closing my eyes and saying the words to Him. Gabrielle must have looked up at me during those few moments 'cause she asked why I had my eyes closed. She asked me if I was praying. I suppose I was.

11 or 111 is still my favorite number. I've blogged why, but I still find it interesting where it comes up. I wonder if I had another favorite number, would it come up as much. My friend at work who has recently started going to church was running a prototype part. He told me he had run 111 parts so far in the day. Hmm. We got home from Bible study the other night, and I pulled the van into the driveway, and just before I turned off the van, I look at the miles on it and sort of chuckle. "What?", Kim says. "The miles.", I say. She peeks over from the passenger side and smiles. 111111 Hmmm. I check out the length of a movie I'm watching the same night. 111 minutes. I still get a kick out of Colton's face after I had made a mistake with my deposit slip in the bank. I had asked for $120 left out of my check, but I had read my check wrong and she would be giving me $9.00 less. Fine with me. She counted out the money "Twenty, Forty, Sixty, Eighty, a Hundred, a Hundred ten, $111". "Whoa!", Colton says. I just smile as he tells the teller what all his excitement is about. During one particularly stressful morning, my first measurement of the day was 1.11mm. It literally stopped me in my tracks. I said a small prayer as I usually do. My day seemed to get much better from there. I'll never forget how brightly it shone from my phone as I entered my prayer room 2 years ago. Pastor Dan mentioned the upcoming Good Friday prayer vigil today. I can't wait.

God is good.

Day 6

In my old(er) age, I've finally grown to be comfortable in my own skin. Still, I'd like to see myself through other's eyes, just for an hour or so. I see one of my buddies from work, and I know he's a little quirky and a bit quiet. Another is sort of a geek (I mean that in the nicest way possible). Another is talkative, but seems to be a nice guy. I suppose I wonder how I'm seen. I'm not even sure how I'd describe myself,but I must say I feel more driven with the Lord's strength guiding me.

In my Bible study group, sometimes I feel like I'm talking too much. On the other hand, we're there to discuss and sometimes the silence is so deafening. I figure that's the best time to get something off my chest. On the other hand, I really enjoy the commentary of others. Tim and Cody are the new couple, and I prayed they would join, so right now I'm sort of hanging on every word. There have been times where one or the other has put something I was thinking so brilliantly into words that I can't help but smile. Inwardly, I'm thinking "EXACTLY!!" or "YES, THAT'S IT!!" and leaping across the coffee table for a huge high five. Outwardly, I smile and nod slowly. The same happens for the other couples, but the newness has not worn off yet.

At work, I wonder if I'll ever be "That Guy". I don't suppose so, but right or wrong, I've brought up my faith or God to more people than had ever brought Him up to me in my lifetime of work. If I could, I'd have a faith based discussion with everyone at work every day. The different perspectives would be awesome. Even those who don't believe would at least give me the opportunity to witness to them a bit. I just don't feel that trying to be nice and respectful and honest and trying to make all the correct decisions is enough. On the other hand, I don't know if I'm the right man for the job. On the third hand, I feel so blessed. It's not right to not let others know what God has done for me.

By the way, these 6 days have not been easy. I've strayed from my goal of total separation as far as recreational computing, but I've done well so far. I've got a feeling that this is not just a Lent thing. I'm praying it's a lifestyle change.

God is good.

Day 4

I haven't been doing the reading I'd hope I'd start doing. Maybe tomorrow.

It's a struggle, but hopefully won't be by the time Lent is over.

I'm tired. I should probably get to bed soon.

Thank you, Jesus.

Day 2

Just like old times. I used to hop on this blog every day, sometimes just before midnight. Again, I've made it just under the wire.

So far, the separation has been pretty easy. Sure the gnawing is there, but watching my favorite show with Kim, catching an old episode of Home Improvement with the kids, getting some reading done, and saying prayers have filled in very well.

The words "Love others as God loves us" ended a conversation today. I've been warned I may have enemies that may seem like friends. "Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer" this person said. But these people are not my enemies, I replied. You say that because you do not know them well enough was the retort. Possibly, I remarked, but I try to Love others as God loves us. I was already talking to the back of her head as she continued to work, but there was...silence. It's tough to say something like that without sounding "holier than thou". I mean, how can we really love someone even close to how much God loves us. I must seem crazy to some people. Ah well, aren't we all a little.

Another friend got a call from what may be a future employer. They called and told him to show up at 10:00 on Friday for an interview. He's pretty excited. I'm excited for him. It just so happens that because of the way his work schedule works, he didn't have to work Friday. To me, that's a God thing, but I suppose everything is. I told him our prayers (his mother's and mine) had worked. I told him God had a great plan for him and I felt pretty confident he'd get the job. He asked me to say a few more prayers for him and I have and will. He went to Catholic school for several years, so I wonder where his own faith is.

Another friend of mine is from Tennessee, but he comes up to H & H every week to do some work with us. I've found out this Christian man has been to several countries building houses and other shelter for the less fortunate. It was quite a story to listen to and I must admit that, in a way, I'm jealous. Ah, maybe someday. I found out yesterday that he is also a musician. He plays the drums in a band he has down south. I reminded him today of the cd he promised me. He went and grabbed it from his truck when he had minute and warned me, in his Nashville, Tennessee accent, not to make fun of their country twang and his band in general. I'm listening to them right now and I must say I can't turn the cd off. I haven't listened to this type of country music in forever, but their fun, passionate, Christian sound is great. Them boys can really "pick it" as he would say. Good stuff.

Thank you, Lord, for all the Christian people that keep showing up in my path to you.

It's our choice--Day 1

I think the second favorite gift I got for Christmas was a robe. I don't think I'd ever owned a robe before. Wow. They're as warm as they look. I never knew how much I wanted one till I actually had one. At the top of my list of Christmas presents was a book. It called "The Grace Awakening" by Chuck Swindoll. We had read excerpts of the book in our last Bible study and I go to church where there are no "grace killers" that I know of, but it's still a really great read.

I never knew how much I needed God's grace till I actually knew it existed.

Today I read about Chuck's first two ways (out of five) of claiming grace. By "claiming grace", he means to take five of the more tender spots in our personal lives and understanding how God's grace can help. We need to claim grace in our insecurities, our weaknesses, in abrasiveness, with compromise and with our pride.

Today, I started with insecurity. In scripture (1 Corinthians 15:6-11), Paul admits his weakness, but understands that "by the grace of God, I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain." Paul could have let his past problems haunt him, but he refused to. He understood that through the grace of God, sins were forgiven and he was given an important, yet undeserved, role in God's plan.

I finished with weakness. From 2 Cor. 12:7-10, I read that "I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." My hobby, and sometimes my weakness, has always been with computers or anything that looks or acts like a computer. It is a solitary hobby for a solitary person. With three great children and one spectacular wife though, I am not in solitude very often, yet I find myself near my computer anyway. I'm not much a TV person, so the computer is essentially my TV.

I'm giving that up today for Lent. I use a computer at work, and I will use my computer to blog, and I will help others if necessary, but as far as recreational purposes, I'm done for a while. While I can be content with my weaknesses, I cannot allow myself to not be changed. I want to find ways to better fill my important, yet undeserved role in God's plan. I'm praying much of this extra time is well used. Kim, the kids, and anyone who has time to read the solitary thoughts of a not so solitary man, will hold me accountable.

On a related, but totally different topic, I realized how difficult it can be to try to keep God at the forefront of my thoughts when I'm under the weather. I did not feel well yesterday at all. I ate nothing all day which probably attributed to how wore down I felt. Today, I felt better. Blessings are more easily realized. I was blessed by the amount of sleep I had gotten. Once I got home, said Hi to the fam as they got home from Girl Scouts, and had a sandwich, I laid on the couch...and promptly fell asleep for the next 12 hours. I felt revived! I was revived enough to notice another blessing as I stepped into work running a little late. I saw my co-worker minimize the screen he was working on, maximize the timeclock and step out of the way, before I even had a chance to open the lab door. I punched in right on time. Seeing random acts of kindness are great ways to start the day.

I ended my day with another thought.

You see, everyone with e-mail capabilities e-mails everyone within their group what their day was comprised of doing. It's a good way of keeping the lines of communication flowing. Yesterday, when I was not feeling well, my e-mail was very small. I did what I usually did and was not needed to do anything extra. It seemed odd as I wrote it, but there it was. Today, when I was feeling better and more energized, I was asked to do quite a bit more than normal. It was really a great day and went smoothly. I considered how much of a blessing that was. On a day I was feeling great, I was pulled in many directions, yet on the day I was feeling sick, I was only pulled in one. Let me just say God has a hand in everything.

Speaking of sickness, a few weeks ago, I had overheard a worker mention to our H.R. personnel that his wife was sick and how he had had to take a couple days off of work to stay with her. I immediately said a prayer for her, him and their family. Today, I was reminded of something someone in my Bible study group had said. She believed that if you let someone know you're praying for them, many times it lifts their spirits. He did not seem down by any means, but I wanted to know how she was doing. So, surprising even myself, I asked. He said she had lung cancer that had spread to her brain. He said that today she said she felt like giving up. She was very depressed. He said he did what he could to keep her spirits up, but it was tough. I asked if they had a church and he said no, but their daughter did and he had met some people at the hospital and they were all praying for them, and I told him that I was too. He thanked me and that ended our conversation. Retelling that story to Kim or writing it down just pierces my heart. I hope I never feel like "giving up", but I may, even with the Holy Spirit dwelling within me. I've prayed for healing and peace for both of them and hope others continue to do the same. I also pray that if they do not know the Lord, that they do so soon. I pray that prayer for anyone who does not know Him.

I was also reminded of the parable of the talents from Matthew. Two of the three men did very well with what was given them, while another did nothing. The two were given much more responsibility, while the third was seemingly condemned to die. I suppose the telling of why I was reminded of this parable may be a little self-serving and may also take this parable out of context. If we do well with what God has given us, we will be given more responsibilities in the Kingdom of Heaven. If we do nothing, we are condemned. It's our choice. Pursue Him as he pursues us. Get the Word out. Love others as He loves us. Love Him with all your strength, with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your soul.

The More I Seek You...

What I read today did not sit well with me and between the hustle and bustle of my day today, I thought about it quite a bit. The excerpt described a shy, sometimes hidden God. By shy, he meant not quick to intervene rather than a timid God. While I understand the concept, he never convinced me shy was the proper word. Some of the scripture he used described a patient God and I believe that is more accurate. He knows exactly when intervention is necessary and I don't believe he needs to restrain Himself in any way. He will intervene at the perfect time according to what He knows must be done.

I read on.

He describes a God who hides and is many times hidden throughout our lives. Although he used scripture to back this up, I'm going to need convincing that this is what is meant. It does not seem to mesh with James 4:8: Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. I am in agreement with Kari Jobe and C.S. Lewis. Kari Jobe sings "The more I seek you, the more I find you..." So true. The more I look for God, the more I see Him. Right now I see Him everywhere and in everything: my family, my friends, my job, music, fortunate circumstances, unfortunate circumstances, a dead leaf blowing across the road in front of my car and I could go on. Maybe I should reign that in a bit, but right now I have no plans to. I see His hand in my life and several of my friends lives. It's a beautiful thing.

C.S. Lewis spoke of God as the “hound of heaven” who pursued him until he came to faith. That does not sound like a God who would later on hide from us in any way. When I stepped into that room almost two years ago now, I had no intention of seeking God. I planned on asking for a few favors for some people at my church. I got more than I expected. He drew me closer to Him that night. Compared to my life before that night, it seemed unimaginably close. I could draw closer every day if I chose to. It is my duty to seek Him and, in one way or another, He will let Himself be found.

Pain

Colton had to show me his hand. It had been ravaged by vines. He couldn't turn his friend's four-wheeler fast enough and plowed right through them. It left a few scratches, some lingering paper-cut-like pain, and an exciting story in its' wake. Sometimes it strikes me as odd that hours of fun are remember by the few moments of pain. Sometimes I wonder why Gabrielle wants to tell me a rather sobering story from school rather than the probable many times she made a friend laugh, helped out a classmate, or met someone new.

I thought of this again Sunday after singing "Above All" along with the rest of the congregation. There's so many painful words in that chorus: crucified, die, rejected, alone, trampled,fall. Each one strikes home what He went through and compels me to praise in a different manner. It's a "thank you" in a slightly different way then the song before. I'm forever grateful for the pain he went through for us.

I'm also grateful for the work our armed forces have done and are doing. At church a few weeks ago, through what looked like a little nervousness, one of our military men stepped up to the microphone and spoke what may have been the best spoken poem I had ever heard. He spoke of many of the hardships they go through and of his relentless faith in his Lord Jesus through it all. He is a strong man and we're lucky to have him and others like him serving our country.

I wish I had a written copy of that poem.

I read a question concerning a parents' worst nightmare. If it happened to a friend, I pray I would be there to support them through the worst. If it happened to me, I can only hope my psyche would be as strong as the friend who posed the question.

A few weeks ago, I had gone almost a year without a paying job. We were always so thankful in our prayers, and Kim and the kids would keep praying for a job that I'd like. I was just praying for a job, and half expecting one that would humble me more than anything. I suppose my nature goes back there after being humbled for what seems like a long period of time. We were very mindful of our blessings as well. We were thankful, and prayed for our church, our friends, and everyone else who need Him. We still had the same house over our heads, food to eat, and, I think most importantly, a group of friends that continued to pray. I was having a bad couple hours and selfishly wondered out loud when my prayers would be answered. I supposed I wonder if our maker knew where I was that night. I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but after seeing so many bad things happen to good friends, I wondered how dark it would get before the light came. I wonder if it was in His plans to lift us up after that day. After waiting almost a year, I got a message from some friends within days. That message turned into a job. That job turned out to be one I enjoy. Praise God. I'm extremely grateful for the many prayers. They meant so much to me.

I hope many more prayers our being answered throughout our church and throughout the world. Many of us got the message loud and clear. Right now we could use less sarcasm, less cynicism, less anger and less pain.

And more Love.

J.O.Y.--Day 371

Jesus
Others
Yourself

I started this blog almost 400 days ago knowing each day was different and every day would bring something new to smile about, something I used to do considerably less often.

It's great when they come when you least expect it.

Today, Noah and I build a tall lego block structure on wheels. We used quite a few blocks and were quite proud of it. He begins to push it around the table when suddenly it falls off and shatters the way a brick building shatters when deconstructed by a wrecking ball. I half expected a look of shock or disappointment. Instead a big smile washes over his face turned into a hearty three year old's laugh. I could see "That was awesome!" in his eyes.

Spontaneous trips to get ice cream are few and far between, but tonight was one of those nights. We each got a blizzard, except for Noah. He was happy with his small chocolate ice cream on a cone. We got home an hour or so later having consumed our fill of ice cream and candy. I pulled into the driveway, put the van in park, and, having recognized the tune on the radio, turned it up a little. As time seemed to stop for just a second, everyone began to sing the opening line: "Who am I that the Lord of all the Earth would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?" I smiled and I think we all did in one way or another.

Earlier this summer, I watched Colton as he stood at the plate and thought "What is he doing?" It took another pitch for me to figure it out. Colton was touching the bottom of the plate, the top of the plate, the side farthest from him, then the side closest to him. He drew a straight line down the middle of the plate, then a line across it. Then he points his bat up in the air before grabbing it with both hands intent on crushing a ball to the outfield. I would ask him later why he was drawing a cross on the plate before every pitch. He told me it helped remind him that God was helping him. Awesome. One of Colton's favorite Detroit Tigers was Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez and he found it very interesting how Pudge would do the sign of the cross before every pitch and then after every hit. If he got a hit, Pudge would follow that up by pointing to the sky. I think Pudge may have been an inspiration for him, and seeing Colton do that before every pitch and finding out why he was doing it means more to me than the hits he had and the strikeouts he threw.

I enjoy hearing my kids expand their vocabulary. I noticed one day as Noah said "delicious" perfectly. That same day, I made mention of the word "marvelous" as Gabrielle had used it in her prayer to describe her birthday. That same night Colton thanked God for this wonderful day He had "bestowed" on us. I read some time ago that most people quit adding words to their vocabulary after age 25. I never want to stop and I'd prefer if they didn't either, but that's just me.

Keep Smiling.

That's all I have to say about that.

My journey through the jungle begins today.

Upwards by Max Lucado

What would it take to restore your hope?

What would you need to reenergize your journey?

Though the answers are abundant, three come quickly to mind.

The first would be a person. Not just any person. You don't need someone equally confused. You need someone who knows the way out.

And from him you need some vision. You need someone to lift your spirits. You need someone to look you in the face and say, "This isn't the end. Don't give up. There is a better place than this. And I'll lead you there."

And, perhaps most important, you need direction. If you have only a person but no renewed vision, all you have is company. If he has a vision but no direction, you have a dreamer for company. But if you have a person with direction--who can take you from this place to the right place--ah, then you have one who can restore your hope.

Or, to use David's words, "He restores my soul." Our Shepherd majors in restoring hope to the soul. Whether you are a lamb lost on a craggy ledge or a city slicker alone in a deep jungle, everything changes when your rescuer appears.

Your loneliness diminishes, because you have fellowship.

Your despair decreases, because you have vision.

Your confusion begins to lift, because you have direction.

Please note: You haven't left the jungle. The trees still eclipse the sky, and the thorns still cut the skin. Animals lurk and rodents scurry. The jungle is still a jungle. It hasn't changed, but you have. You have changed because you have hope. And you have hope because you have met someone who can lead you out.

Your Shepherd knows that you were not made for this place. He knows you are not equipped for this place. So he has come to guide you out.


___________________________________________________________


Unless I become consumed by an unlikely nervous breakdown, I will not lose hope. And unless, in a much more unlikely circumstance, I lose my faith, I will not lose my vision. Unfortunately though, unless a (very possible) miracle happens, I will lack direction tomorrow. I am in the jungle Max speaks of, but because I have hope, I do not fear what is to come. I can look up and see His light shine through the trees, and I can look around me and see His beauty in everything, but I do not see the way out. More likely, I refuse to firmly grasp the hand of the only One who knows the correct path to take. Opportunities come, only to fall by the wayside. Sometimes I feel that way about my spiritual journey. There were probably so many opportunities to develop a relationship with Him, and I refused to see them. It seems like one day last year He said "I'M RIGHT HERE!!!".

Occasionally, someone will enter my jungle, lend a helping hand, and leave the way they came. I could probably follow most of them out, but I am too used to being lost and know the way out is probably an uphill climb that I have no intent in undertaking. As I said, it is not scary here, but it is certainly lonely. I have heard too many sermons telling me that is not true and talked to too many great people to know I do not speak the truth, but at the end of the day, when it's just me here, it feels like exactly that--just me and no One else.

I was told a short story today about a married couple. She was a teacher and he was a mechanic except she no longer had kids to teach and he no longer had cars to work on. They and their three kids were forced to move out of the suburbs in Davison, and into a small apartment above some shop. Soon, they may have to leave the state and move in with family. His point was to remember there are others that have it worse than any situation most of us are in. I don't usually forget that. I don't feel sorry for myself or the situation I've put my family and I in. God has great plans for us. Much like Andrew's deeds from the sermon today, they may not seem great at the time, but if they're His plans, then they're great. Whenever I choose to see the light in the darkness within the trees before me, I will find out what they are. Until then, I will remain lost, and deservedly so.

Take me out to the ball game...

There's a runner in, but nobody on base. The score is 7-6. Last time the pitcher had two strikes on a kid was just two batters ago. The batter swung and missed, but the catcher dropped the ball. The throw to first was late and the run would eventually score in a game that had been tight all evening. The pitcher seems to be tiring, but the home crowd cheers him on. He hunkers down with the ball and glove against his chest and takes the obligatory deep breath. His leg goes up and in, torquing his body with the force we see in Nascar. His arm goes over the top and this ball is going right over the heart of the plate. It's either going to get nailed or end the game, but it's going to get swung at for sure. Strike three! The home part of the crowd goes wild! The disconsolate batter walks back to the dugout with his head down, but his coach is quick to console him. The winning pitcher pumps his fist, and then, almost immediately, gets in line. Several "Good games." can be heard at once as skin meets skin on walk-by high fives. One team picks up their equipment and walks back to the dugout. The other team bounces back to the bench like there's a invisible jump rope competition going on.

As the pitcher begins to walk my way, I stop, turn around as he passes me, and put my arm around him. "Great job, Colton.", I tell him. "Thanks.", he says with all the enthusiasm of the ball that now lies quietly on the pitchers mound. "You feeling ok?", I ask. "I'm a little dizzy", he says as he holds on to what remains of his Gatorade. After playing third base, then pitching through the third and fourth innings, going back to third, then pitching the sixth and final inning, there seems to be too much Gatorade left. I guess that may be the problem, he agrees like a good kid, and then heads over to the picnic area for snacks, drinks and handouts. Later on, he says the dizziness had turned into a dull headache.

He says he loves baseball, and I love that he loves baseball. It's the only sport I know a little about. I never played myself and I don't think I ever played catch with my dad, so I'm able to live vicariously through his every pitch, although that may not be wholeheartedly true. I just want him happy. Once he's done with baseball, he'll be done. We'll still play catch and stress the importance of God, exercise and a good education. I just worry about him sometimes, you know? He has the same headaches his mom has gotten all her life. Good, happy people like them don't deserve that sort of thing. I worry about Gabrielle, but in a different way. She's got my clumsiness. Poor thing. I worry about Noah just cause he's so little.

I just try to put it all in God's hands. He's got a plan for all of us. I'm not sure if that includes Gabrielle playing softball again next year, but we'll see. We'll see if Noah has the same look of calmness and intensity out on the mound. Until I find out, I'll continue to enjoy the outdoors and going somewhere where the children seem to outnumber the adults three to one, but everyone feels like an active participant. Hands clap, babies cry and everyone smiles. The boys of summer are back.

Lucky number eleven: Day 266

I have a somewhat irrational infatuation with numbers. The number eleven, in particular. I started noticing it quite a few months ago. I'd look at the time in the morning and I'd see it was eleven minutes after eleven. I'd do the same at night and would see it in again. One I see a pattern, I notice it everywhere. I suppose if I concentrated on the number 10, I'd see it more often. It's now my favorite number. On many computers, it points up twice, much like a God fearing baseball player will do after a big hit. I noticed that after I started saying a small prayer after seeing it so often. People have written books about that number and some think it's very important and might actually "mean something". Who really knows for sure, but if you want something to mean something, it will.

I was watching the Louie Giglio video from How Great is Our God? on youtube and looked at the comments. Someone was arguing with another. His argument included looking up a certain word. I don't remember what the word was, but I remember the definition. It meant assigning importance to something where there was none. It made me think of what I had done that number. It was something I already knew, but I thought that was interesting. I thought about that while on the way to church one day and smiled when I looked to address on the mailbox I was passing. It said eleven seventy five.

I did a search for the number on this blog. It started with my very first blog, to the one entitled "The End". You can probably guess how many there are...one hundred eleven. That REALLY surprised me. I expected maybe 74 or 103, but one hundred eleven? That's funny. Now that Colton knows it's my lucky number, he points it out to me. Kim knows it too and will joke with me about it once in a while. I asked her recently how many facebook friends she had. One eleven she typed back. I literally laughed out loud. She's so witty. I can only assume this is what she was thinking about when she saw Gabrielle's number on her softball uniform when she got it today. Gabrielle showed it to her and Kim said "No way!" and shot me a look and a smile. It looks like the number eleven will be running around the softball field.

I've even associated it with my revelation last year. I can't remember every moment, but one moment that sticks out was seeing exactly eleven o'clock on my phone as I entered the room. From there I remember getting on my knees. I remember sensing his presence soon after. At eleven thirty I remember entering the sanctuary. It ended with an hour more of continuous prayer.

How do I end the ramblings on a seemingly strange subject? I just do.

God is Good.

The End

It's difficult to not notice the positive anymore. Kim is enjoying this new life as well. The bible study is taking up much of her time, but she enjoys it. I see her trying to apply lessons we learn from church, class and the Bible. I see more smiles on my daughter's face. She is a very kind, sweet little girl. I see Colton put the energy he has always had into activities like Awana. He was part of the Sarah-created pandemonium, and then was pumping his fists vigorously into the air during the second song and praising with all his might. I hope Noah is able to appreciate his family. The old family, while usually having good intentions, was not a Christ worshiping, God fearing, saved by the grace of God family.

I can see the positivity outside my house as well. Dennis and Jennifer have been instrumental in my family's path. They both have admirable qualities that I would like to replicate in myself. I've recently been able to see the sense of humor of people I may not have seen before. Michelle's facebook replies have been some of the funniest I've seen. I mentioned it to her at Awana and we had a good laugh. Wendy and Richard could be a stand-up comedic team in Wyoming somewhere. I believe we're penciled in sometime in March or April for some game time. They're both great fun to talk to and were obviously made for each other. We'll be going over the Priest's house in a few weeks and that could potentially start Colton's drumming career :). Church is great, Awana is wonderful and we'll be venturing out on a new branch tonight with our new small group. Fran and Jerry will be wonderful people to get to know as will the others in the group.

I don't need this blog anymore to notice the positive. I don't dwell on the negative as much. He has changed me. Through the Holy Spirit and through many Christians I've met, our life has changed. While I probably will come back to this blog occasionally to write, I'm going to create another. I need to learn more. I need to take more advantage of this time and read more. I need to talk more and I will find a way to volunteer my time more. That's what the new blog will be about. Each day I write, I will add what I have learned that day. I don't even know what that means yet, but we'll see.

God is Good.

Intensity--Day 265

Something happened yesterday. I attribute it to the list below:

1. I believe in God.

2. I am overly emotional.

3. I am overly sensitive.

I'm not sure if that is the correct order, but it's close. I had told Kim on the way to church that last week I hadn't felt "connected" to the music like I usually did. I felt the congregation was unusually quiet. Later on, I read that someone else had had difficulty focusing. I thought that may have my problem, and it may have been. If I would've thought about it, I would've been more determined to be more focused. That was not my determination, though. It was praise Him and learn more life lessons I can apply. I, and many others as a matter of fact, felt I got something more tangible from the Sunday school class. There are ways to get to the root of our children's problems than talking and discipline. Sometimes, it needs to be more of a two-way street, rather than my way "cause I said so." Sometimes, they have valid problems we need to make sure we do not merely push aside because we believe them to be trivial. I enjoyed the video and listening to the discussion afterward.

After the announcements, and after the kids had gone to Sonshine park, it was praise and worship time. I immediately connected with the first song. The praise of the congregation seemed tenfold from last week. It helped having Roger directly behind me. There was no mistaking his voice or his praise. A tear rushed from my eye to my chin in seconds. It was unexpected as was tear that fell from the other eye. As I stopped singing to listen to the congregation for a bit, I felt barraged by markings of His beauty around me. Aside from being a guy crying in public, it was great. The tears did not last through the whole worship time, but the emotion and connection did.

The message of Christian maturity was helpful. It's been nine months since I finally started figuring things out. It's good to know there's been people that took over five years in Corinth. There are most likely people that have stagnated in their spiritual walk at my church. I pray they heard the message as well and understand how important it is to continue to attempt to be more like Him.

We prayed when the sermon was over. I closed my eyes, began to pray, and the tears came back. We ate the bread, prayed again, and the tears came back. I should mention that in all cases, I felt they were tears of joy. That didn't make them any more unexpected though.

The service was over. I felt energized. I felt awkward, but happy.

I saw someone I felt had contributed the energizing and happiness and thanked them. I would have to assume they had more important things to do or had nothing to say or felt awkward themselves, since they seemed to act as if they couldn't care less. That, as well, was unexpected. I felt deflated. How do I let that happen? That, not the two hours before that, is what sticks with me a day later.

Later that night, I went to a friends to watch the Super Bowl. Colton had a friend over, and Gabrielle had nothing to do, so she went with me. I wasn't sure she'd have anything to do, but there were other children her age there, albeit all boys. She played for a bit, but spent much of the time cuddled up against me. I was glad she went. Jason had the 3-d glasses I didn't even know about to watch a couple commercials. She really enjoyed that as well. I got to see some old friends, and had a good time. More importantly I think, Gabrielle did as well.

God is Good.

God is Great--Day 259

I suppose I shouldn't bring up how I've been feeling lately, but it needs to be addressed somehow, and Kim's not going to call me on it. She's not like that. She said she was sorry for her crankiness late Sunday and I told her "Me too." I told her I meant I was sorry for my crankiness, not hers. We laughed and made a few more humorous comments as we stood in the middle of the room holding each other up.

Monday seemed better. My irritability was not as noticeable. I must say it has a calming effect to open the Bible and read. I also re-started a book Jennifer let me borrow a while back. As I did last time, I read the page she had bookmarked for me then started reading it from the beginning. It's an easy read and attempts to challenge the reader to not be as complacent in their faith. It questions where all the childlike faith has gone. Some of it is in my house. I'm very proud of Gabrielle and Colton and their work in Sunday school, Awana and Son-shine park. They ask good questions and say some very earnest prayers every night.

I didn't get enough sleep last night and woke up irritable again. That irritability has to be reined in when you're watching a two-year old all day. He's going to ask the same questions over and over. And over. No matter how many times I answer, some questions will be repeated. If I read him a book, he's not going to be courteous and wait til the page is done before asking all his questions. When we're done playing cars or blocks or sometimes even sandbox he's dumping everything out when he gets bored. I thank God for these things. It's what makes toddlers great. When I'm irritable, though, I can get irritated by such little things. I do my best to make sure Noah can't tell. I don't have the patience many others have, which is probably why God only gave me one at a time to watch over an extended period of time.

Kim thinks I have cabin fever. I don't leave the house unless I'm looking for a job or making a bank deposit. Having such a tight budget doesn't leave me with many other options. This is fine with me, but I suppose I should spend my time more wisely at home. This cabin fever idea would explain why last Friday was so much fun, but that would also be explained by the company I was amongst that night.

She has given me a few ideas. She also says things like "That would be a blessing." It's great we can remember to be grateful to God for everything. Sometimes we take things for granted, but we always come back to Him. This time last year, that was not the case.

We found out today He has lowered our house payment by $100. He sent us a check for $75 for something we had not dealt with in 5 or 6 years. We were sent another check from our insurance agency. We found out we're not over the miles on our leased vehicles. We may be well under. He's providing and we're surviving. Against my better judgment sometimes I worry we're still too comfortable as in:

"He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable, so which one do you want to be?"

from the song "My Jesus". Things may get worse before they get better, but I can't worry about that. It's not in my hands.

I paused at that last sentence. I feel I must do my part, but that puts things back in my hands. Give me time, Lord. I'll figure it out.

God is faithful.

Give me one reason--Day 257

I think one of the reasons I may have enjoyed the sermon today is that it discussed maturity of faith. I would tell anyone who asks that I am immature in my faith. I have so much to learn. Sometimes I feel there are so many people to learn from. Pastor Don says in that it is not him we should be learning from. It is the Holy Spirit. Pastor Don dislikes and warns against getting attached to a "person." After many hours of thought (I wrote part of his Sunday, but ran into a mental stumbling block, and finished on Monday), this reminds me of Proverbs 2. If we accept His words and store up His commands within us, turn up our ears to wisdom, apply our hearts to understanding, call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, then we will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. We have to be able to discern whom the Holy Spirit is actually working through and follow Him.


Mature believers have a deeper understanding of the things of God.

My understanding is not yet deep. Although my belief is held very deep within me, my understanding is sometimes superficial and is not yet where I want it to be.

Mature believers are taught by the Spirit of God.
Again, I'm not all the way there yet. I listen to the sermons, I go to the classes, I question others, but I do not fully apply what I learn. One is not being taught if (s)he is not learning.

Mature believers accept the things (or teachings) of God.
I accept them, but I feel I ask too many questions. Questions are necessary, but many times would not be if I would accept what the Holy Spirit is trying to teach me. On the other hand, without the questions, I feel I will not gain a deeper understanding of what I'm learning.

Mature believers judge all things.

Being as introspective as I am, I judge nearly everything. The important thing here though is to adhere to the first three concepts of mature believers.

Yesterday's blog title was based on a song Colton and Garrett were playing on Rockband. Today it's named after a song Colton played air guitar to. I played air guitar to it one time long ago, and every time he hears it, he lets me know. There's a guitar solo near the end of it and he called me from his room when it was getting near. From the bottom of the stairs I watch as he breaks into full on air guitar. He barely missed a beat and we were both smiling at the end. I've added it to the playlist for now. It's nearly impossible to not bob your head or tap your foot as you listen to it. If you know how to play the air guitar, give it a listen.

God is groovy.

Nine in the Afternoon--Day 256

Kim got a message from what sounded like an excited Fran Maddock tonight. She said we're in her life group with one other couple. I chose to get into a life group rather than a discovery group at the last second. God gave us freedom of thought, but sometimes I wonder when or if the decision is made for me. God knows I need a push in one direction or the other once in a while. I figured Kim would have more time for this group since it meets less often and I don't think there is any homework. She is already in the Women's Bible Study group and works for quite a while on the homework. If there is a Men's Bible Study group, I hope I'm able to join that as well, but we'll see. I'm really excited to be in a group with the Maddocks. They seem so genuinely nice. I'm looking forward to our time together with them and the other family.

Garrett and Jiselle are staying the night again. Colton was the first to say his prayer and then Garrett said he wanted to go next. He has sort of a loud, authoritative voice. He thanked God for quite a few things. It was a wonderful prayer once again. He said he'd like to come to church with us every week. I hope he can. It'd be nice if the rest of his family could come to, and we'll probably bring it up, but not push it. It would be an even longer drive for them.

Just taking those two to church reminds me of something Laura said during the Awana leaders meeting before Awana started up again. She said something to the affect that we needed to remember we were not doing what we were doing for anything that was fitting our agenda in any way. We are doing it to help lead children to Christ and we were doing it all for His glory. I'm very glad to be able to take them.

We went sledding today. It was quite cold and I didn't have a hat. Thankfully, I had a hood on my sweatshirt I was able to pull up over my ears. We had a good time sledding, laughing, wrestling, and talking for a little over an hour. A hour later, Kim went with Gabrielle to the roller skating rink and Colton went to the Rec Center for an All-Kids Night at the Rec Center for a few hours. They both had a good time and both brought home a friend.

As a facebook friend put it, I'm excited for some Jesus tomorrow.

God is Good.

Honored--Day 255

I've tried to watch what I say better than I used to. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all is something we teach the kids and something we try to do ourselves. Sometimes saying something nice may seem out of place, but most of the time I realize it can't hurt. I still feel most people aren't complimented enough. Anyway, I bring this up because I momentarily paused as I was about to shake Pastor Don's hand. I had felt honored to be invited over, and as we were leaving, I felt compelled to tell him so. Is "honored" the correct word? Would that be taken seriously? I thought something like this in a span of a few seconds, and I decided that yes, it was the correct word for this situation. Whether or not he would take it seriously was not up to me. So as I shook his hand, I thanked him for the invitation, and told him it was an honor to have been able to come by their home.

I'm not a conversationalist. I never have been. Tonight went reasonably well, though. It certainly helped to have a couple there where I knew we had at least a couple things in common with. I enjoyed every minute of my time there. Rich is as funny as I guessed he would be. Wendy is as enjoyable to be around and as sweet as I remember her being in class. I got to read some of Angela's writings and I got to hear some more of Pastor Don's stories I had not heard before. Lisa is the epitome of sweetness, and they have done a great job of passing that along to the kids. The pizza was good, the desserts were good, even the kids were good. It was a really enjoyable night. We talked and we ate. We talked some more and we ate some more. We talked some more and then we played a game. We finished the game and we went to go talk some more.

In our 15 years of marriage, Kim and I have never had a circle of friends we've gone out with. We have very rarely invited others over either. If we're going to start, and we most likely will in our life group, I'm glad it's with other Christian families. Glad may not be the right word there. I am ecstatic that it's with other Christian families. Maybe ecstatic is over the top, but I get the idea.

I pray the Holliday and Dionne families continue to be blessed by Him in many ways. I pray their fellowship with others continues to be blessed and others are able to see Him in them as we do. I pray our family continues to be blessed and God uses us all for his righteous plan. Whatever you want us to do, Lord, we are willing. Thank you for the fellowship tonight and thank you for all you have done, are doing, and will do for us.

Amen.

Day 254

Noah has this thing with opposites. While I'm changing his diaper in the morning, he'll turn the light on with his foot and say "Off." He'll want to be picked up and say "Down?". He wants to get put down and he'll say "Up.". Like I told Colton last night, almost everything Noah does is cute. I'm just glad he's in the right ballpark.

Colton got a good laugh out of a small anecdote I told at the dinner table last night. I told him how I had to sneeze while Noah was on my lap. I turned my head and tried not to. My "Ahh, Ahhhhh, Ah, Ahh" in quick succession gave Noah a look of concern. "Are you ok, Daddy?", Noah says. It made me laugh and took the sneeze away. Colton's got this awesome laugh that would make you think you just told him the best joke in the world. He thought it was pretty funny.

I enjoy our time together has a family. We seem to talk more at the table, we're together every night in prayer, and we're starting to do family night on Fridays more often. This Friday night will be spent at the Hollidays. I'm looking forward to that. I'm also looking forward to Easter Sunday at church. Last Easter was the first day I decided we'd be going back to church on what I was hoping would be a regular basis. That Sunday, I'll be up in the video area. While I'd always rather be with Kim at that time, that area was something I used to take for granted. Not anymore.

Bee's Nostrils...again---Day 253

The laughter started in the early morning. I was wasting a few minutes checking out some "flair" on Facebook. I found one that made me laugh and sent it out. As soon a I got up the next morning, the laughter began again. "Again" being the important word here. Noah has improved his pronunciation of many words in the last year or so, but "again" has needed no improvement. He still says it the same way he did a year ago. He says a-GAIN?? in a very adorable way.

Stop the presses. I had to pause in my blog writing to go say prayers. We said them in Gabrielle's room. Colton got up immediately to go to his room, and Noah was sitting up playing with some toys he had grabbed. I kissed Colton goodnight, and laid Noah back down. As I was covering him up, I said "Love you, Noah." As clear as day he said "I love you too." He has never said that before. He doesn't know what that means yet, but that still means a lot. I told Kim what he had said and when she came down she said, with a smile on her face, that he said it to her too.

Back to my "again" theme, Noah says "Again?" before I even get his pants on each morning. He knows that when I pull them up, I lift him up in the air as well. Eventually, he folds his body over my shoulder. On the third or fourth time, he is all the way over my shoulders while I hold him by his ankles. This morning he grabs the back of my pants as I try to pull him back up and won't let go. He let go after a few seconds, but it was funny and I was laughing again. We did that a few times before he was ready for something new.

While playing with him today, he made me laugh out loud quite a few times. We had a good time today. Later on, I checked out Facebook and I had gotten a bumper sticker in Haiku form. It's safe to say the word refrigerator had never seemed so out of place and so funny in my life.

Kim made meatloaf with potatoes and dinner with the fam was great as usual. Soon it was time for Awanas. Allison and I talked all the way there, and most of the way back. She enjoys laughing and makes me laugh everytime we go. Awana was great. Brenda's pretty smile and calm demeanor always begins the night with a relaxing atmosphere...before the chaos begins. Tara went through an amazing 11 sections including rattling off every book in the old and new testament. Trent hadn't been to Awana in three weeks, but was able to do a few verses himself. Caleb was his usual slightly mischievous, but humorous self. All the different personalities bring a smile to my face for one reason or another. There are many great parents out there.

Mental note: no more stuffed animals in Noah's crib. It is very late and he is still up there talking with them all.

P.S. The odd title is borrowed and embodies the silliness of the day. I think of bee's nostrils and I smile. I think of Noah's "aGAIN??" and I smile. I think of trying to say "Irish Wristwatch" and I smile. I think of Kim trying to say "Irish Wristwatch" (Irish Wish Wash) and I chuckle. I think "Refrigerator" and I nearly choke. P.P.S. The number 253 must be off. I will total 365 days in late April, but that is only about 100 days away (253 + 100 < 365). It would help if I wouldn't do things like have two "day 251"s. That's just silly.

Revelations--Day 251

Another song has been added to the playlist. I had it stuck in my head as we came in from Colton's basketball practice. As with many songs I get stuck in my head, I was repeating a couple of lines over and over:

Give me a revelation. Show me what to do.
'Cause I've been trying to find my way. I haven't got a clue.

I am trying to find my way right now, but that doesn't mean I'm lost. It's almost impossible to get lost if you know who to follow. If I take my eyes off Him though, I will certainly feel lost. I learned something important (many things actually) from Adam. He would often say "Go back to what you know." Many times when I think about that, I find myself going back to that night exactly nine months ago. Sometime between 11:10 and 11:20pm, I had a very important revelation. I went from believing in God to KNOWING He is always there, always has been, and always will be. I felt his presence in that small room. That helps reminds me He is here with me now and He is with my family while they sleep. He is with my friends. He is everywhere. I've probably written pretty much the same thing on different days, but some days it impacts me more than others.

Back to the present. Back to positivity of the present. Noah's attention span in getting longer. I read four and half books to him before he started to really show his boredom. The first was a little hard cover ABC book. We made it through that one and moved on to his fairly new Elmo book. He pushed the musical buttons at the right times, and sometimes he didn't. He just wanted to hear the noises. Either way, he listened to me read the whole thing. I had also grabbed the O, P, and Q books. Colton had the whole collection of these books memorized by the time he was four. We read to him quite a bit and it shows. He's a good reader. Noah listened to O, got restless while listening to P, and lost it halfway through Q. He enjoys answering questions throughout the books, but he didn't care anymore on the last one. It was time to find something else to do.

Colton had a collection of good grades to show me when he got home from school. That was good to see. Gabrielle struggled a bit with her homework about money, but she pushed through it and did well. Later on, Gabrielle had Girl Scouts to go to. She came home with a sock puppet. I could tell she really liked it. Kim showed me some pictures of others girls sock puppets. They were all really well done and looked like they had fun doing them. Almost as soon as she stepped in the house, it was time to go to Colton's practice. Gabrielle likes to go because she has a new friend there. Colton practiced well, hustled, and listened to his coach. That's all I can ask for. Gabrielle played with Brooke almost the whole time.

Gabrielle and I thanked God for her new friend in our prayers tonight. I really should thank Him for all the wonderful people who he has put in the path of my life.

So I will.

Dear God, thank you for revelations. Thank you for the people you use to help bring these revelations into light. Thank you for Kim, Colton, Gabrielle, Noah, Pastor Don and Lisa, Pastor Bob, Dennis and Jennifer, Adam and Keri, Jim T., Mom B, my mom, Wendy and Richard, Wendy and Dave, Jim and Cheryl, Jerry and Fran, Tracy and Lowell, Angela and Scott, Jim and Ginny, Jim Stein and Jim Priest, Brenda, Anne, all the kids at Awana, Mary, Allison, Emily, Ray and many others. I have been truly blessed by a wondrous God. Please help me remember all the things you have done for us. You sent your son to die for us. The least I can do is live for you.

In your son's name I pray,
Amen.

Moo--Day 251

I've mentioned odd coincidences several times in this blog. Hearing the same joke from two different sources qualifies as a coincidence to me. I was watching a kids show with Noah one morning, and a monkey says (yes, a monkey) "Knock knock." The other monkey says "Who's there?" First monkey: "The Interrupting Cow". Second monkey: "Interrupting Co--" First monkey: "Moo." That was a new one to me. I thought it was kind of funny and told it to the kids later. Colton thought it was hilarious. He had to tell Mom when she got home and she thought it was funny too. I was watching a movie tonight (Half Nelson with Ryan Gosling. Don't bother.) and the main character's sister says "Knock knock." He says "Who's there?" In what seemed like the next 10 seconds, I thought of that joke and how very highly unlikely it was that the next line in the movie would be "The Interrupting Cow." She then says "The Interrupting Cow." I had to laugh.

A 23 year old young man is a billionaire because he knows adults like to keep in touch with friends, find old friends, join groups and generally be as silly as the internet will let them. I joined Facebook in 2007, but never used it. I had read an article about him and Facebook and how he had turned down 1 billion dollars from Yahoo last year. He has sold parts of it, but still owns 20 percent of it. If he sold it now, he'd have $3 billion dollars in his pocket. That's pretty amazing he was able to start this thing from his dorm room. I've started using it recently and had a bit of fun. Kim has joined as well and has found some friends she went to school with. It's a new, small part of our life and we're enjoying it.

I thank God for the strength He gives me through the good and bad times. Right now, I'm looking for more self-discipline in more parts of my life. I have prayed for it, but it hasn't taken hold as much as I would like. I'd like to prove to myself that people CAN change. I'm too old for the military, so if you know where I can get some, please let me know.

God is faithful (Thanks Wendy and Kelly).

Sunday--Day 250

Another Sunday has come and gone. Another Sunday of Sunday School sitting next to Kim and listening to a man make so much sense on the subject of raising our kids to be worshipers of a wonderful God.

Another Sunday of spending time up in the video area with a nice view of the whole congregation. There was a part of a song that asked us to put our hands in the air. I usually only see women do that for one reason or another. This time, there were three people with their hands up, and they were all men. Marty had both hands straight up, Jim Buongiorno had his left hand up and Pastor Don had his hands up creating a half circle with his arms. I'd never seen Pastor Don do that before. It was glorious to watch.

Another Sunday where Gabrielle falls on my chest and lays there while I sit in a chair. She just curled right up. She got up for a second, and then laid back down. That's something Dad's get to enjoy for just a short amount of time. I cannot take it for granted. Gabrielle and Kim made doughnuts today. They were really good.

Another Sunday of playing cars and trains and dolls with Noah and chasing him around the house whenever he feels like not giving up whatever you're asking for. He just starts laughing and running away. I think he wants to be caught, but the chase is fun as well.

I asked Colton if he thinks about God every day; even when we're not saying prayers. He said he did. He said he thinks about Him all the time. I told him I was glad to hear that and wanted to take the conversation further, but didn't know what to say.

It was a good day. I would like to one day appreciate every day as much as I do Sundays.



I actually came upon this video back in November. My favorite part is when he says "If you think He doesn't change lives, you've never met Him."

Get well, Clark--Day 247

When you have three children to take care of, are jobless and hear the rumors Kim is hearing in the Flint school system, it's tough not to worry. This is why I like Philippians 4:4-7 so much. Not only does it remind us to bring our request to God, but it reminds us to rejoice, not once, but twice. No matter what happens, we need to rejoice in the wonderful plan He has in store for His children. Adam explained to me how we must always have joy in our hearts. That does not mean we will always be happy, but we will have joy in our hearts knowing the Holy Spirit is residing there. Those verses literally fill my heart with joy every time I read them.

Gabrielle thinks we need to make up a handshake before kisses and hugs at night. We'll work on it, but not tonight. It's too late.

I gave Noah a bath this morning. Here' proof:



I'm looking in the camera. He's making faces at himself.


We had cake and ice cream at Dennis and Jennifer's. It was the same singing, banter, and laughter as the rest of the parties. Everyone had fun. Dennis mentioned something about going down there sometime during the day. I probably should. If it's going to be Bible related, I need to come up with something to discuss other than what we already have. That's going to be tough. I used to have something for Adam all the time, but now that he's not there, I've got nothing to discuss. We differed in some areas, but we did some bonding through our discussions that I found with no one else. Considering how many options there are, that seems odd. Until I'm led to someone else or they're led to me, it's just God and I. That's fine with me.

I'm really praying my friend makes it through everything he's going through o.k. He has two really great twin sons. They haven't been over in a while, but they treated Colton great even though there's about a 6 or 7 year age difference. I think Colton remembers them more than he remembers Clark even though he sees Clark at least once or twice a year. Clark's a great guy, too. Maybe that's why his stroke has upset me so much. Get well, Clark.

Kim and kids--Day 246

I was told it was hard to tell who was the bigger kid was tonight, me or the kids. It was sort of a compliment. I made a little pac-man sort of thing with a piece of paper and gave it to Sloan. Jaselle wanted one. Then Gabrielle and Ryan and E.J. and Brandi and Carson and Blake and Shane and Delani. While the ladies were picking up, I was doing origami.

Awana went well. Carson brought a friend. I introduced myself and told him what would happen tonight. He seemed sort of quiet, but ready to enjoy himself. I also talked with him while Carson recited his memorized verses. He doesn't know a whole lot about Jesus, doesn't go to church and can't remember if he's ever read part of the Bible. I hope he can keep coming and/or maybe even attend church with us. I hope a lot of things for him. He seemed like a very sweet young man and asked some good questions.

I created a Facebook page for Kim. We had a few good laughs as we tried to coherently type together. She found some friends she had not seen in a long time. Talking and laughing with Kim was an excellent way to end the night.

I know you don't read my blog, but I love you, babe.

'night.

Day 245

I found out through an e-mail from Adam this morning that a good friend of mine had a stroke this morning. I prayed for him when I found out, but didn't mention him in our nightly prayers, so I asked Colton to pray a small prayer for him before he went to sleep as I kissed him goodnight. He asked me if I would say one with him, so I did. I took a deep breath and we prayed for him together.

I got a sweet comment from a friend of mine. She helped me remember how faithful God is.

Kim made chop suey on rice tonight. It one of my favorite meals. She usually makes enough people for 10, so I'll probably have it for breakfast and lunch tomorrow as well.

We went to Allison's band concert tonight. It was short and sweet. Allison did well and we all enjoyed ourselves.

Special--Day 244

It's Monday. Some days it's tough to pick out the positives especially when I don't get all that I wanted to done. I think sometimes I'd like to look over the positives and dwell on the negative. Well, that's why this blog is here in the first place. I would dwell on the negative way too much. I suppose the positive of my day could be the same old stuff. I enjoy getting Noah up. He's usually standing up or bouncing. Yesterday he was bouncing and saying "Oh yeah." repeatedly. I asked Colton if he had taught him that and he said that he had. It was pretty funny. Maybe I'll try it when no one's around. We had another good day together and the kids came home with good grades. I took Colton to basketball practice and he is improving as are all the kids in at least some small way. Kim had her first Women's Bible study class tonight. She said it went well. Sometimes I think that none of this would've happened had God not revealed himself to me last April. I would not have met so many wonderful people. I would not be helping out in Awana. Kim and I and the kids wouldn't be going to Sunday School. I wouldn't be joining a small group at church either. Kim and I wouldn't have taken Jim's class. I wouldn't have had that interesting conversation with Diane (she's been missing for a few weeks from church. I hope everything's alright). Kim and I wouldn't be trying to regularly read our bibles and we wouldn't be saying prayers every night. I wouldn't think of the Bible as the word of God, but rather a book I should be reading. The list goes on. He did reveal himself to me that night, so all this did happen. My life and my family's life has changed.

One of the more positive moments of the day was reading something Gabrielle had written. She had colored a paper stocking at school. It is mostly green with some red on top. It says:

The best thing about Christmas is knowing that it's God's birthday! Because God is very special person. He died for us and to let us be alive right now. That makes you feel very special knowing that someone died for you. Everyone should believe that! And that is the best thing about Christmas!

by: Gabby

Gabrielle is a very special person herself. I should remind her how special she is more often.

Let's go backwards--Day 243

I'm blogging.

I got a compliment a few minutes ago. Compliments are nice. I've heard from people that have come from out of state that Michigan seems very cynical. When I heard that some time ago, I thought how true that seemed. I was cynical and many people I knew were the cynical type. I fight the cynicism with compliments occasionally. It's nice to see when others have joined the fight. :)

Kim gave me a kiss goodnight after giving instructions on cooking a roast tomorrow. Sounds like fun.

I felt the urge to go tell the kids how much I loved them after they had been in bed 15 minutes or so. They hugged me back (twice) after I had hugged them and given them a kiss on the cheek. They love me too.

We said prayers and the kids headed off to bed.

We played puzzles and read books with Noah. As when Gabrielle and Colton were little, I grab the last piece when they're not looking and when they're looking for it, pull it out from behind their ear. As with the other kids, Noah grabs behind his ear looking for more.

Garrett's dad picked him up. Garrett told his dad our church was different from others. They listened to stories and got to play games. It was good to know he enjoyed himself today. As I've said before on this blog, he's a good kid.

We had pizza for dinner. It was really good. Two mediums are not big enough for this family anymore especially with Garrett over.

We went sledding. It was cold, but we had fun. We only had a couple sleds and no snow board, but we made it work. While I stood at the top most of the time, two of them would sit on one pulling the other sled in a variety of ways. Many of the ways caused wipeouts, but sometimes that seems like it's the best part. Most kids I see get up with a big smile on their face.

I did some stuff on facebook. Wendy and her husband Richard are hilarious. She introduced me to some new Christian music. I'm forever grateful.

I enjoyed church today. During the fellowship time after Pastor Don's sermon, I introduced myself to Jim Priest, the drummer during praise and worship time. I introduced him to Colton and Jim was nice enough to give Colton a try on the church drums. Colton's face lit up when Jim gave him the drumsticks. Colton gave the impression he thought it'd be really difficult (it probably would be), but he came away still wanting to play. Jim really encouraged him to give it shot. Garrett is learning the guitar, so he and Colton are already thinking of names for their band.

I really enjoyed Pastor Don's message and his stories really struck me this week.

I enjoyed I Corinthians 1:2

...those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ—their Lord and ours:

and I Corinthians 1:9

God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

We are called to be holy, so we should be holy. There are so many little and big ways to help others. Together as a church, as a community and as united individuals, we can change the world one child of God at a time.

Sunday School was interesting. It started out slowly. I wasn't expecting a video. The more the speaker laid the foundation, the more I enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to more in the coming weeks. Fortunately for us, the kids enjoy Sunday School as well and Noah is content to play in the nursery. Thank you, God, for that.

We wanted to leave for church earlier than normal, but we ended up leaving at the normal time. We were still there a little early.

There wasn't a whole lot of time to get ready for church, but the kids were fed, Noah gave no hassles, and we were off with time to spare.

I awoke.

Prayers--Day 242

The Lanza girls didn't want to leave when their brother came to pick them up. They were busy playing with Noah's blocks in the living room. Before that they were in Gabrielle's room all morning. I supplied them with lemonade and some Nacho Chef Boyardee Noodles I had never seen before and they were set for quite a while. Allison and Emily came over while Kim and Mary went shopping. Emily and I got into a shooting match with Colton's nerf guns and bullets. Someone's gonna get an eye taken out. I don't know if Emily was aiming for the face, but she somehow shot through the glasses I was wearing. It was a pretty good time. Allison got tired of watching us have such a good time and wanted to play. She took mine and I moved on. I blew some bubbles with Noah and we played with some Flarp when he wasn't playing in his car. Speaking of Noah, he's been eating dinner lately. He usually won't. He'll push it away right away and say "I don't want it, OK??!?" He started with the applesauce and moved on to the pork steaks.

Colton came home really late from Garrett's house. Garrett is staying the night and is going with us to church for Sunday School and then Son-lite park. Kim was just getting in bed, so we said prayers in our bedroom. Garrett goes with us to Awana on Wednesdays, but I didn't expect him to stick around while we said our prayers. We asked him if he wanted to say a prayer, and he said he really didn't have much to say. Colton went first, then I, then Kim, then Gabrielle. We asked Garrett again, and he proceeded to say a short, albeit quite beautiful, prayer.

Me: "Amen. Very nice, Garrett."
Garrett: "Yeah. I don't say prayers very often, but I'm really good at saying them."

LOL. That's awesome.

Day 241

I had made it a week, then forgot to post. I do that a lot. Forget that is. I forget my keys. Forget my wallet. I'll even forget to finish an occasional sente

The Lanza girls were over tonight, while Colton spent the night at Garretts. As I've said before, they are very sweet girls. Jiselle is more silly and energetic. Jalina is younger, quieter, and has a really cute smile.

I haven't been up to much lately, but I'm looking forward to the Sunday school class on parenting, the discovery group (if I end up joining one), and the Love and Respect conference. I pray that God's will is done in each.

He is good.

Noah, Awana, and Gabrielle--Day 239

I look outside and I see a short term benefit of not having a job. The roads look pretty bad. I've never liked driving in the winter. If you've been driving between Lapeer and Oxford in the early morning in the winter in the last 10 years or so and came across a long line of cars going 25-30 mph, I was probably at the front of the pack. Don't get me wrong. I'd rather be still driving to work, but I can still look at the positive side of this.

The layoff also came at a good time in that we have either almost met or already exceeded the amount of miles we are allowed on both of our leased vehicles. Now, they're rarely used and not costing us more money. Don't get me wrong. I'd rather be losing money with the miles on the car rather than losing money not working, but I'm trying to be positive here.

I've also been available to volunteer during school hours and see Gabrielle and Colton. That's been fun.

Of course the best part of not currently having a job is all the time I spend with Noah. Stick around him for 5 minutes or so, he'll get to know you, and you'll see how much of a joy he is to be around. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be working, but...

I can't finish that sentence. It'd be a total lie. I'd much prefer to be home with him. So, for now, I'm very lucky and blessed in that regard.

I'm hoping good things come out of the time I spent at the staffing service Monday, but I'm enjoying this while I can.

As I was taking Noah up to change what would turn out to be an horrendously dirty diaper this morning, I paused to ask him who the people were in the frames I had put up yesterday.

"Who's that, Noah?"

"Colton!!!"

"Who's that?"

"Noah!!!?"

"Who's over there?"

"Gabrielle!!!"

"Who's that, Daddy?"

"That's Garrett, Colton's friend."

"Who's that?"

"Who is it, Noah?"

"It's Em-i-ly!!!"

I proceed to go upstairs. A couple feet from the pictures we still have our nativity scene out.

"Who's that, Daddy?"

"Who is it, Noah?"

"Je-sus!"

I had to laugh. It was unexpected. I didn't know Kim or the kids had told him. I told him he was right, and spent the next 15 minutes changing his diaper and applying some lotion. Good times.

Awana was later. We had fun as usual on the way there, while we were there, and on the way back. Garrett couldn't come this week, so Colton took our neighbor, Tim. While we were there, the kids got to put red stickers (measles) on a leader of their choosing. Brandi counted 25 on my face and ears. The kids were so gentle putting them on. Not one child put a sticker on my face hard enough where I thought it would stick. That gentleness evaporated when I asked if they wanted to take them off. I had bent down to their height, closed my eyes, and soon had a bunch little fingers scraping at my eyes, ears, cheeks, nose and mouth. I supposed I shouldn't have asked if they wanted to "tear" them off. I'm hoping I'm needed with Gabrielle next year. The kids are really great.

On the way home, I stopped at a gas station and we all got something to drink. When we got home it was time for showers and bed. After prayers, Gabrielle tells us that there's only five months left in the school year and she can't tell time as well as she'd like to yet. After Kim had given her a kiss and gone downstairs, I asked her about the time again. She said that when she asks when lunch is, her teacher tells her. She doesn't know when that is, so she asked her teacher how long that is. She said her teacher tells her to "figure it out." If my life was a TV show, this is where the crowd would say "Awwwwwwwwww." I could tell that made her sad. We spent the 20 minutes or so going over it. She struggled with it as expected, but she had at least learned a little bit. She seemed happier. Seeing her smile and say "Good night, Daddy." was probably the highlight of my day.

Question asked by a song currently playing off the playlist:

"How great is our God?"

Answer:

I don't believe we'll ever be able to truly answer that question, but it's great to think about.

Broken Glass--Day 238

I've moved stuff around in the living room in the last couple days. I'd wanted the tv on the other side of the room for years, but it's difficult to do without having a cable running along the drywalled ceiling. I decided to do it anyway. I brought down a bookshelf from Colton's room and put it in the living room. The other bookshelf was too small for all the books I wanted to put in it. Colton and Gabrielle were unexpected excited when they saw the new configuration to the room.
I also decided to put some pictures up on what seemed like a really bare wall where the tv used to be. I grabbed a hammer, some nails, some pictures we had put up without framing and some frames. I put a couple up, letting Noah hammer in a few nails. I went to the kitchen to grab another frame and come back to see Noah with the hammer in the air ready to pound on his picture and the big frame it's in. "Noah, No!"

"Whyyyyy?"

Such an innocent question. If it's fun to tap nails into the wall, why not some glass too?

It looks pretty good. Maybe I've got too much time on my hands, but that's not always a bad thing.

So Proud--Day 237

Kim got a call from someone at about 6:15 tonight when Gabrielle was just starting her dinner. I can't remember who called her, but she mentioned something about a ball. Oh no, I thought. Colton has basketball practice at 7. He hadn't had a practice since the week before Christmas. We asked Colton to make himself a sandwich and we were on our way. At the beginning of practice, the coach made a kid a captain who had stuck out to him for one reason or another. He asked him to pick a co-captain by the end of the practice. I wondered how the kid would be able to choose. He'd be too busy just trying to get through the practice. By the end, the coach pulled the kid aside while the rest of the kids got a drink and asked him if he'd made a decision. He looked at the kids as they walked out, thought about it, but didn't say anything. The coach asked if he could make a recommendation. Perry said "Sure." The coach said _______. I couldn't make it out. When the kids came back, the coach asked Perry if he wanted to make the announcement. Perry stood in front of the other kids and said "Colton, you're the man." Colton smiled and looked at me. I smiled back. We talked about it on the way home. He thought it was pretty cool, but he didn't know what he was supposed to do. I told him to just keep hustling, listening to the coach, helping out the other players and stepping up to help out once in a while. He's great at all of the above, so he has nothing to worry about.

Gabrielle got her last Christmas present today. I had ordered her the cookbook she wanted at the last minute after finding it half off at Wal-Mart. She tore open the paper, and after a long process, she decided she'd make some Stuffed Noodles. It tasted like lasagna with extra cheese and was very good. I wasn't home to see her and Kim put it together, but she did a great job.






Noah found the Santa hat and put it on. Merry Christmas!



I found Kim reading the bible by flashlight tonight as the kids had fallen asleep next to her. That's all I need to say about that.

God is good.

Hello--Day 236

Sundays always start out positive.

Kim and I had a short conversation while on Oakwood Road. I told her that people, including myself, tend to remember the bad things that happen to them or the bad things that effected them emotionally. The better stuff does not usually have the same sort of impact.

The positive energy at church is almost intoxicating. There are weak, there are weary, there are those with cancer, those with children in harms way, and those without jobs. Most everyone is able to put on a smile, and why not? We're there to celebrate our Lord. During the first song, I noticed the drummer and remembered what Colton had been saying since he got the drums for Rock Band a week ago: "I want to be a drummer when I grow up." I whispered to him that if he really wants to know how to play, he should talk to the drummer on our praise and worship team. I don't know his name, but I'll introduce Colton to him if I get the chance. After I told him that, he seemed transfixed on the drummer the rest of the time. Each time Colton enjoyed something the drummer just did, he'd look up to me and smile. Ya gotta admit, it does look like he's having a great time praising our Lord over there.

As always, I looked around during the praise and worship time. There were two girls somewhere between 9-11 singing there hearts out. I cannot help but think of the things Diane told me a few months ago. She believes lovers of the Lord should act like Jesus is visible up on stage. If he was, would we stand there, straight as a board, with our hands clasped in front of us? She doubts it, and she makes a good point. Are we singing about Him, or TO Him? The two girls looked like they were singin to Him. It brought a big smile to my face, but my hands remained clasped.

During his sermon, Pastor Don brought up the several new programs that are being started at the church. One of his biggest points is that while the programs are great, they are not what will attract others to God. It is people like Pastor Bob, Dennis and Jennifer, the Maddocks and the McDaniels. So true.

He also brought up how people tend to remember the bad things that happen to them or the bad things that effected them emotionally. The better stuff does not usually have the same sort of impact. I would later ask Kim on the way home if Pastor Don would talk about anything we talked about in the car on the way to church. She said she didn't know, but based on how many times it's happened, it seems likely. It's almost kind of spooky.

After the sermon and communion, Pastor Don came down to say hi to us. To our surprise, he guessed Kim's name was Pam. LOL. I thought he knew.


I said hi to Dave (McCone?) on my way to get Noah. He seems like a guy I'd like to get to know. I talked to Wendy a bit as I picked Noah up. She had a couple cute stories to tell.

I got to see all the members of our table during Jim's class. Besides Wendy, I saw Lisa, said Hi to Sharon as she walked out of the auditorium and said Hi to Jenni after we picked up Noah.

I talked to Jerry about the groups. I'd like to get into the Discovery Group, but I'd like to have Kim's input a bit. I told Fran (with the great new haircut) about my plans and she said "Yeah. That's you." I found that comment interesting.

The last three gifts I've gotten from Kim and the kids have been religious books. I don't want to get away from the Bible, but I want to take advantage of these books as well. I want to take advantage of a couple of other resources available to me as well. I feel as I'm being led in that direction and I did a few things today and last night that will make it easier to do so.

Colton and I made some club sandwiches for lunch today. They were delicious.

I have to believe many people have asked God how he wants to use them. Some probably get firm, immediate answers and others not so much. When I asked a couple days ago, I got a quick answer. I can't really say it was God talking to me. It may have been the first thing that entered my head. On a slightly negative note, I found myself thinking, "But Lord, that's impossible." I caught myself, though. Whether it was just my meandering mind or not, nothing is impossible for Him to accomplish. Thank you Lord, for reminding me of this.

God, please bless everyone in our church. Please relieve them of any major crisis or difficulties in their life. Reside in their hearts and make them whole. I pray that Sharon is made well very soon, and I pray for all of the children at Oakwood. Please help keep their eyes on you for the rest of their precious lives. Bless my family and extended family. Thank you, Lord.

In your son's name I pray, God.

Amen