Rambling, Going off on Tangents, etc. Day 131/Day 4/Day 1

Interesting morning. I've been riding with a friend of mine to work to save on gas and miles on my car (more on him later). I got up a little late this morning, so I had to drive myself in. He goes in a hour earlier than I have to get there, so I was in no hurry, but I still managed to leave my wallet at home. About a mile or so from my house, I wonder if I should go grab it since I am low on gas (little did I know, I had a $20 bill in my pocket after planning to use it to get Colton something to drink). I have plenty of time. On the other hand, I should have enough gas to get to work and back. On the other hand, I really should have my wallet with me. Not too far ahead people are going into the other lane to make sure they go around a truck with it's hazards on not too far in front of me. I do the same, but as I pass, I look over at him. It's still very dark, and he doesnt' have his headlights on, but I can make out a man holding some jumper cables. I continue down the road, but decide to turn around at the next intersection. As I pass him again, he's still standing in the same spot holding those jumper cables. I turn around again at the next intersection. This time as I pass there's no one behind me, so I roll down my window and see if he needs help. He said he could really use a jump. I turn my car around again and set out to try. Turns out he had run out of gas, gotten the gas, filled his car up, and then his car still wouldn't start. The jump wouldn't work. He asked if I had a cell phone and then mentioned he only lived a mile and a half away. I look at the time and it's only 5:30. I'd normally be getting to work with Gil at that time, but I don't have to be in till 6:30. Disregarding my hitch-hiker-phobia where the possibility arrises in my head where he pulls out a crow bar, knocks me unconsious and steals my money and wallet, I ask him where he lives. He lives at the end of Carpenter Road. I ask if he wants a ride, he likes that idea, so he jumps in my car. I take him home, he tells me how much he really appreciates it and tells me "Have a good day." I was pretty close to my house after coming back to the intersection, so I went home, got my wallet and got some expensive gas before heading to work.

I realized 3/4 of the way through that story how boring it must be to read if you're not me. Good thing I'm not a novelist. I dont' think that story would sell.

Anyway, I wonder if I would've stopped to help him if God hadn't come into my life like He has. I haven't stopped and given someone a ride in years. The closest I'd come to helping out a total stranger was digging someone out of the snow after I'd been shoveling some snow outside, noticed a tractor going down the road pushing the snow away from the road and seeing someone get stuck on the side of the road. I walked down the road and started digging. After some digging and some pushing, the car wouldn't move. While we pushed, the driver of the car called a loved one and told them she didn't think we were going to get the car out and she would need some help. I continued to dig out the back wheels of car disregarding the tightening of my lower back muscles. We tried again and the car moved out of the ditch with almost no resistance. They thanked me and I walked back home. I felt pretty good about myself. The people she was with were in a truck driving in front of her and as they passed by the house, they waved. She did not even look in my direction. She was probably worried about sliding off the road again.

This time, there was no feeling pretty good about myself. I was compelled to help out, I helped, and that was it. I wonder in almost anything though, how something so seemingly insignificant fits in God's plan. Were things configured just so, so that I would be able to use my free will and decide whether I would give a stranger a ride under the darkness of early morning? I don't know, but that's just how my mind works.

I think about Traci....(not sure of her last name) every time I hear "At the Cross" which is once or twice a day. It's a positive in my day, as all the songs are. My mind goes to her singing her heart out, hands raised and eyes closed. Her sister is doing the same doing that small dance she does on stage. Jerry does the same or has both hands on the microphone or has a hand in the air as well.

Now I think about how it looked like he was looking right at me as we sang last Sunday. I'd forgotten about that. It is insignificant now, but then, as I tried to hold it all together while singing You are Holy, it seemed as if he was staring into my soul (not really, but that's the best wording I can think of).

It's times like this I wonder again about putting my thoughts online. Jen and a couple others had called my blog "inspiring", but I can't say that it is. It's a way to help me remember the positive things of my day, but to put some of my intermost thoughts where people that I know can read them doesn't feel right sometimes. I know there are some people that will say what's on their mind no matter what it is or how irrelavent it is to the conversation. That's what this feels like once in a while. On the other hand, if they're not interested in reading these thoughts, then they won't. If they had a problem, I'd hope they'd bring it up. Just don't think I'm crazy. Just consider me happy.

Colton's team won another football game yesterday. They were undefeated and so was Chatfield, but they managed to beat them in overtime. I wonder if Chatfield is as good as Jen claims it to be.

So, back to Gil, we've had interesting discussions on the way home from work. He believes we're in sort of a snow globe where there is our solar system and that's it. The rest is nothingness. We'll never get outside of it, so why would God feel it necessary to put anything else out there. We're not spinning around at 86,000 mph as so many believe. Neither is the moon. Somehow this is proven by the fact we see the same side of the moon no matter what and the same constellations have been in the same place since the beginning of time. I don't think that's correct, but I do not disregard his theory. Sure it's possible, and it doesn't matter if it's true or not. Sort of like my view of the DaVinci Code and the Holy Grail.

We talked about those two things during another conversation. He asked me what I thought the Holy Grail was. I pretty much told him it doesn't matter what it is. What's the big deal about finding it? If you find it, you prove Jesus was real? Well, most of the world already knows that. I told for all I know, he used a Dixie Cup. It's not about the cup, it's about Him and His body and His blood and His Life. I have the same thoughts about the DaVinci Code. I agreed that even if it was true, it's possible God didn't put it in the Bible because not everything God knows is in there, but it is all extrememely unlikely that Jesus was married and fathered a son. Let me rephrase that: Jesus did not get married and father a son. It didn't happen. It's a book of fiction. It's based on what some people consider real facts or a real group, but I compared it to "A Beautiful Mind". It's a great movie with Russell Crowe as a schizophrenic man who wins a Nobel Prize. He could find patterns in everything. Newspaper articles, magazines, and maps all had an interlocking meaning that proved his conspiracy theories. If you look hard enough, you can find connections between anything. Someone did that with the DaVinci code or simply made much of it up.

Gil did not have it easy growing up. I'm not going to go over any of it here, but I know my childhood wasn't the greatest either, but I do not envy him. I envy him a little now, simply because of the patience and kindness he displays. He was not always as patient and kind, but especially since having a grandson, that has changed.

He said he has read the Bible and believes every word of it. That's wonderful to know. Hopefully someday I can say the same.

I got an e-mail from a friend (aquaintence?) that takes the bible-study class we're taking. It was humorous, thought provoking and complimentary. We both agree the class is enjoyable and we look forward to the remaining classes.

I'm sure there will be more to write about, but for now, this is good enough. What? You want some more rambling? O.K.

As I wrote "good enough" above, Barlow Girl sang "My God's enough...for me". Eerie coincidence? Uh...no. Just a small one and some truth to think about.

I'm done now and one of my fingers in tingling. I should have that checked out.

I don't think I read the Bible yesterday. Guess I got to start that one over. I'll had a third counter to the title.

Ok. That's it.

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I'm back. I enjoy going to the Art Off the Grid site I added to the new bloglist. A few days ago, he had a link to a blog of a friend of his. On that blog, his friend has a video of himself shot by another friend. While I've never had a problem with drug use and alcoholism, I identify with the dark place he was at at one time and his thoughts on being positive. I can't tell at the end whether he believes in God or not, but I also like his thoughts on faith.

Parental discretion advised for talk of drug use, a small dose of vulgar language and chain-smoking.