God is Good

All I am is Yours...

2010-07-05T23:59:00.003-04:00

I really need to get to bed. I really need to do a lot of things, but the most responsible thing would be to go to bed. Some last minute web-surfing before I go back to work tomorrow led me to facebook, which led me to soul fire, which led me to my blog. I haven't blogged since our first Tiger game of the year and this weekend, we went to our third on Saturday. Great game by the way. It was nice to not be at a nail-biter with the Tigers ahead most of the game. The fireworks after the game were awesome. Once I placed my hands over Noah's ears, we were all able to settle down and watch the show.

We watch the show last night again, but this time at the Lanza's. We got as close as we have ever watched the Lapeer fireworks and I dare say it was the best ever.

Church was great too. I know some people just don't get into the worship much, and there are times where I don't feel I am worshiping as I should, but Sunday was awesome. Last time I was up in the video booth, the worship group sang the Stand, so I thought they might play it again just as a coincidence and they did. It's really great to watch from my vantage point above it all. When the song gets to:

"So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all"

so many people lift up their hands to God. For the second time ever (the first being the last time they did that song), so did I. I think I've gotten better at understanding the difference between my emotion and my worship, but it was still powerful stuff.

The sermon was equally wonderful. None of us are as grateful to what God has done for us or through us or for others. If we were, we'd spend a lot more time in prayer and worship. I really need to pray for that kind of dedication. While the sermon may be pointing out something we really need to work on, it strengthens my faith more than anything. That's going to happen when you know what you're hearing is The Truth.

What a great weekend with the family. So glad there are many more to come...

Just another day at the park...

2010-05-02T00:32:00.003-04:00

Getting up at 5:15 was kind of tough for me, but made easier with the knowledge I was about to have a very special day with my kids. I had no idea how special. Even though Home Plate didn't start till 9:30, I wanted to get there at 8:00 when the gates opened. We pulled into Dennis' driveway at 6:12. "What happened to 6:30?", he says as he grabs his jersey out of his van.

We had checked the weather before we left and there was a 100% chance of rain between 9:00-11:00. By the time we get onto I-75, it's a steady downpour. I kept my eyes on the road, but couldn't help but catch glimpses of lightning that were lighting up the sky. The kids and I thought it was a pretty awesome show. We pull into my usual parking spot at 7:45 and it's still coming down pretty good. There was no one around to take our money for parking so I grabbed my umbrella and everything else I had brought and we started walking. We made our way to the gate just in time...to wait. After a short wait, they let us in and we found a seat under the awning which was as far as we could go until the lightning passed. It finally did, but we were comfortable, could see everything quite nicely and decided not to move. Then I thought out loud: "When are we ever going to get a chance to sit in the front row again?" I took the kids down and we took a seat in the front row.

It was still raining when Mary and Allison showed up, but they found us and Allison got to sit in the front row as well. We looked around, took some pictures until, for the 6000 believers there, God made his presence known. It stopped raining. Just as Home Plate was to begin, the rain just stopped. I don't mean it slowed to a steady sprinkle, it stopped. It would not rain the rest of the day.

Jeff Totten walked out, said a prayer, and introduced Adam Everett, the Tiger's shortstop. Next was Ramon Santiago, then Willie Horton. After Willie came a surprise: Jason Hanson, the Detroit Lions kicker who expressed his faith beautifully. Donnie Kelly spoke next and last was Frank Tanana, a former Tigers pitcher. Everyone of these men had some wonderful ways to convey their love of God, and they were doing it right in front of us. My kids were hearing every word and seemed to be as enthralled as I was. When Frank finished speaking, Jeff walked out again, said a closing prayer and told us that the on the field clinic would not be on the field today because of the rain. I was really looking forward to walking around on the field with my kids and close family, but it was not to be; He had other plans.

As Jeff was asking us stay in our seats until they dismissed us, he also told us there would be certain sections where the clinics would be held. The players would speak from the field and would rotate to each of the four sections before they were done. As we were waiting to be dismissed, they began setting up the speakers, and set the microphone directly in front of us. We just happened to be in one of those four sections. We saved our seats, went to get some food, and came back to see several thousand more people eagerly awaiting the clinic. When it was ready to go, Tiger's catcher Alex Avila walked almost directly up to us and starting taking questions on the finer points of catching. He had a wry smile on his face like he had not had the chance to do something like this before, but it looked like he was having fun. After Alex, Tigers rookie and current second baseman, Scott Sizemore, walked up to us, having just hit his first home run last night. Scott talked about fielding and took questions until it was Austin Jackson's turn. Austin, the Tiger's centerfielder who had just hit 5 hits last night, and has more hits than any other rookie in the Majors, talked about, what else? Hitting. The guy is always smiling and looks like he's having a great time.

Once he left, and after I had taken a ton of pictures by this time, I thought "All they have left is pitching." Right on cue walked up Rick Porcello, the Tiger's pitcher who had just won last night's game. As he and the Tiger's pitching coach talked and answered questions, I realized this would be the last player that would come around. I spotted the ball in his hand and told Colton he should ask for the baseball. Colton didn't want to, so I forgot about it for a minute till the two minute mark was broadcast by the announcer. "Ya gonna ask him?", I said. "Nah, I don't want to." Again, I thought when would I ever get this chance again. Once the hitting coach had finished talking, I spoke up: "Hey, Rick!" He glanced at us sitting in the first row. "Can he have your ball?", pointing at Colton. A fan behind me who had asked a good question earlier remarked "He didn't say please!" Rick made the motion to toss him the ball, but the hitting coach started talking again. I suppose just in case another question was asked, he wanted to have the ball still in his hand. The announcer came over the loud speaker again, telling us and the players that the clinic was over. Rick walked right up to us, and gave Colton the ball. His face lit up like a Christmas tree and both of smiled all the way up to the third deck.

It's a long way away from the players up there, but the view is amazing. I got to talk to Dave Ledbetter and his family for a few minutes and Pastor Bob sat right next to us. For me, the game flew by, but I got to explain the first pitch and the seventh inning stretch to Gabrielle. When they asked for frozen lemonade, they got frozen lemonade. When they wanted a pretzel, we went and grabbed a couple pretzels. We put our arms around each other for "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" and swayed to the beat. We tried to get the wave going to no avail, but got to participate in one later. We got to see the catcher throw out a would be stealer twice and we got to see Johnny Damon throw someone out at home from the outfield, which almost never happens for him. The game was full of spectacular moments.

It seems every time I go to a game, there's a late inning homer, and I mentioned that to the kids before the game. The chances of it happening again I knew were slim, but it was 2 to 2 in the bottom of the ninth and the Tigers came to bat. "Someone's hitting a home run to end it", I told Colton. "Yep", he says, and after thinking about it a moment he says "and it's going to be Johnny Damon." Austin Jackson comes up first and put up a good fight till he finally gets out. The next hitter is Johnny Damon, who had zero homers for the Tigers coming into today, and Colton and I exchange glances. From our vantage point every pop fly looked like a home run and Johnny Damon looked like he hit a pop fly that was going to land harmlessly in the outfield, but the ball kept going. It kept going until it landed in the first row behind the wall, and the crowd goes nuts. "I called it!", he says to everyone who will listen. Our smiles as we left our seats were almost as big as the ones when we had walked to our seats. What an amazing day.

Thank you, God, for blessings like rain when we want the sun to shine. Thank you for a wonderful immediate and extended family. Thank you for touching the players' lives the way you have and allowing them to speak to all of us. Thank you for allowing us to hear what they had to say, and thank you for changing our lives the way you have. Amen

Thoughts--Day 12

2010-02-28T23:08:00.003-05:00

I had just finished my last blog, when I realized how what I considered my biggest blessings were glaringly missing from what I had been writing. Hardly a mention at all about the family. I suppose I take their greatness for granted. I can honestly say I've spent more time with each of them, though. I believe Kim and I have talked a bit more. And speaking of our talking, I feel she has grown spiritually quite a bit. That's between her and God, but the Holy Spirit seems to have had quite an effect on her through Bible study, church worship, and our friends. I love hearing her thoughts, questions and answers. I think I admire her selflessness the most, but all in all, she makes me a better person and really helps in my endeavor to be be a better disciple.

The kids and I were watching a movie this week, and as I lay there on the couch enjoying the movie, Gabrielle gets up from her chair and lays on the couch directly in front of me. I put my arm around her and we spent the rest of the movie that way. I thought right away that would have never happened had I been sitting in my computer chair. It hits me now how few times that has happened over the years.

I checked out Chris Tomlin's version of "Exalted" on youtube. I like our worship team's version more. Justin seems to like that one and he and the others do a great job with it. There's another song I like but it seems too fast for the congregation, so I tried closing my eyes and saying the words to Him. Gabrielle must have looked up at me during those few moments 'cause she asked why I had my eyes closed. She asked me if I was praying. I suppose I was.

11 or 111 is still my favorite number. I've blogged why, but I still find it interesting where it comes up. I wonder if I had another favorite number, would it come up as much. My friend at work who has recently started going to church was running a prototype part. He told me he had run 111 parts so far in the day. Hmm. We got home from Bible study the other night, and I pulled the van into the driveway, and just before I turned off the van, I look at the miles on it and sort of chuckle. "What?", Kim says. "The miles.", I say. She peeks over from the passenger side and smiles. 111111 Hmmm. I check out the length of a movie I'm watching the same night. 111 minutes. I still get a kick out of Colton's face after I had made a mistake with my deposit slip in the bank. I had asked for $120 left out of my check, but I had read my check wrong and she would be giving me $9.00 less. Fine with me. She counted out the money "Twenty, Forty, Sixty, Eighty, a Hundred, a Hundred ten, $111". "Whoa!", Colton says. I just smile as he tells the teller what all his excitement is about. During one particularly stressful morning, my first measurement of the day was 1.11mm. It literally stopped me in my tracks. I said a small prayer as I usually do. My day seemed to get much better from there. I'll never forget how brightly it shone from my phone as I entered my prayer room 2 years ago. Pastor Dan mentioned the upcoming Good Friday prayer vigil today. I can't wait.

God is good.

Day 6

2010-02-22T22:21:00.001-05:00

In my old(er) age, I've finally grown to be comfortable in my own skin. Still, I'd like to see myself through other's eyes, just for an hour or so. I see one of my buddies from work, and I know he's a little quirky and a bit quiet. Another is sort of a geek (I mean that in the nicest way possible). Another is talkative, but seems to be a nice guy. I suppose I wonder how I'm seen. I'm not even sure how I'd describe myself,but I must say I feel more driven with the Lord's strength guiding me.

In my Bible study group, sometimes I feel like I'm talking too much. On the other hand, we're there to discuss and sometimes the silence is so deafening. I figure that's the best time to get something off my chest. On the other hand, I really enjoy the commentary of others. Tim and Cody are the new couple, and I prayed they would join, so right now I'm sort of hanging on every word. There have been times where one or the other has put something I was thinking so brilliantly into words that I can't help but smile. Inwardly, I'm thinking "EXACTLY!!" or "YES, THAT'S IT!!" and leaping across the coffee table for a huge high five. Outwardly, I smile and nod slowly. The same happens for the other couples, but the newness has not worn off yet.

At work, I wonder if I'll ever be "That Guy". I don't suppose so, but right or wrong, I've brought up my faith or God to more people than had ever brought Him up to me in my lifetime of work. If I could, I'd have a faith based discussion with everyone at work every day. The different perspectives would be awesome. Even those who don't believe would at least give me the opportunity to witness to them a bit. I just don't feel that trying to be nice and respectful and honest and trying to make all the correct decisions is enough. On the other hand, I don't know if I'm the right man for the job. On the third hand, I feel so blessed. It's not right to not let others know what God has done for me.

By the way, these 6 days have not been easy. I've strayed from my goal of total separation as far as recreational computing, but I've done well so far. I've got a feeling that this is not just a Lent thing. I'm praying it's a lifestyle change.

God is good.

Day 4

2010-02-20T23:15:00.002-05:00

I haven't been doing the reading I'd hope I'd start doing. Maybe tomorrow.

It's a struggle, but hopefully won't be by the time Lent is over.

I'm tired. I should probably get to bed soon.

Thank you, Jesus.

Day 2

2010-02-18T23:52:00.002-05:00

Just like old times. I used to hop on this blog every day, sometimes just before midnight. Again, I've made it just under the wire.

So far, the separation has been pretty easy. Sure the gnawing is there, but watching my favorite show with Kim, catching an old episode of Home Improvement with the kids, getting some reading done, and saying prayers have filled in very well.

The words "Love others as God loves us" ended a conversation today. I've been warned I may have enemies that may seem like friends. "Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer" this person said. But these people are not my enemies, I replied. You say that because you do not know them well enough was the retort. Possibly, I remarked, but I try to Love others as God loves us. I was already talking to the back of her head as she continued to work, but there was...silence. It's tough to say something like that without sounding "holier than thou". I mean, how can we really love someone even close to how much God loves us. I must seem crazy to some people. Ah well, aren't we all a little.

Another friend got a call from what may be a future employer. They called and told him to show up at 10:00 on Friday for an interview. He's pretty excited. I'm excited for him. It just so happens that because of the way his work schedule works, he didn't have to work Friday. To me, that's a God thing, but I suppose everything is. I told him our prayers (his mother's and mine) had worked. I told him God had a great plan for him and I felt pretty confident he'd get the job. He asked me to say a few more prayers for him and I have and will. He went to Catholic school for several years, so I wonder where his own faith is.

Another friend of mine is from Tennessee, but he comes up to H & H every week to do some work with us. I've found out this Christian man has been to several countries building houses and other shelter for the less fortunate. It was quite a story to listen to and I must admit that, in a way, I'm jealous. Ah, maybe someday. I found out yesterday that he is also a musician. He plays the drums in a band he has down south. I reminded him today of the cd he promised me. He went and grabbed it from his truck when he had minute and warned me, in his Nashville, Tennessee accent, not to make fun of their country twang and his band in general. I'm listening to them right now and I must say I can't turn the cd off. I haven't listened to this type of country music in forever, but their fun, passionate, Christian sound is great. Them boys can really "pick it" as he would say. Good stuff.

Thank you, Lord, for all the Christian people that keep showing up in my path to you.

It's our choice--Day 1

2010-02-17T18:57:00.006-05:00

I think the second favorite gift I got for Christmas was a robe. I don't think I'd ever owned a robe before. Wow. They're as warm as they look. I never knew how much I wanted one till I actually had one. At the top of my list of Christmas presents was a book. It called "The Grace Awakening" by Chuck Swindoll. We had read excerpts of the book in our last Bible study and I go to church where there are no "grace killers" that I know of, but it's still a really great read.

I never knew how much I needed God's grace till I actually knew it existed.

Today I read about Chuck's first two ways (out of five) of claiming grace. By "claiming grace", he means to take five of the more tender spots in our personal lives and understanding how God's grace can help. We need to claim grace in our insecurities, our weaknesses, in abrasiveness, with compromise and with our pride.

Today, I started with insecurity. In scripture (1 Corinthians 15:6-11), Paul admits his weakness, but understands that "by the grace of God, I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain." Paul could have let his past problems haunt him, but he refused to. He understood that through the grace of God, sins were forgiven and he was given an important, yet undeserved, role in God's plan.

I finished with weakness. From 2 Cor. 12:7-10, I read that "I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." My hobby, and sometimes my weakness, has always been with computers or anything that looks or acts like a computer. It is a solitary hobby for a solitary person. With three great children and one spectacular wife though, I am not in solitude very often, yet I find myself near my computer anyway. I'm not much a TV person, so the computer is essentially my TV.

I'm giving that up today for Lent. I use a computer at work, and I will use my computer to blog, and I will help others if necessary, but as far as recreational purposes, I'm done for a while. While I can be content with my weaknesses, I cannot allow myself to not be changed. I want to find ways to better fill my important, yet undeserved role in God's plan. I'm praying much of this extra time is well used. Kim, the kids, and anyone who has time to read the solitary thoughts of a not so solitary man, will hold me accountable.

On a related, but totally different topic, I realized how difficult it can be to try to keep God at the forefront of my thoughts when I'm under the weather. I did not feel well yesterday at all. I ate nothing all day which probably attributed to how wore down I felt. Today, I felt better. Blessings are more easily realized. I was blessed by the amount of sleep I had gotten. Once I got home, said Hi to the fam as they got home from Girl Scouts, and had a sandwich, I laid on the couch...and promptly fell asleep for the next 12 hours. I felt revived! I was revived enough to notice another blessing as I stepped into work running a little late. I saw my co-worker minimize the screen he was working on, maximize the timeclock and step out of the way, before I even had a chance to open the lab door. I punched in right on time. Seeing random acts of kindness are great ways to start the day.

I ended my day with another thought.

You see, everyone with e-mail capabilities e-mails everyone within their group what their day was comprised of doing. It's a good way of keeping the lines of communication flowing. Yesterday, when I was not feeling well, my e-mail was very small. I did what I usually did and was not needed to do anything extra. It seemed odd as I wrote it, but there it was. Today, when I was feeling better and more energized, I was asked to do quite a bit more than normal. It was really a great day and went smoothly. I considered how much of a blessing that was. On a day I was feeling great, I was pulled in many directions, yet on the day I was feeling sick, I was only pulled in one. Let me just say God has a hand in everything.

Speaking of sickness, a few weeks ago, I had overheard a worker mention to our H.R. personnel that his wife was sick and how he had had to take a couple days off of work to stay with her. I immediately said a prayer for her, him and their family. Today, I was reminded of something someone in my Bible study group had said. She believed that if you let someone know you're praying for them, many times it lifts their spirits. He did not seem down by any means, but I wanted to know how she was doing. So, surprising even myself, I asked. He said she had lung cancer that had spread to her brain. He said that today she said she felt like giving up. She was very depressed. He said he did what he could to keep her spirits up, but it was tough. I asked if they had a church and he said no, but their daughter did and he had met some people at the hospital and they were all praying for them, and I told him that I was too. He thanked me and that ended our conversation. Retelling that story to Kim or writing it down just pierces my heart. I hope I never feel like "giving up", but I may, even with the Holy Spirit dwelling within me. I've prayed for healing and peace for both of them and hope others continue to do the same. I also pray that if they do not know the Lord, that they do so soon. I pray that prayer for anyone who does not know Him.

I was also reminded of the parable of the talents from Matthew. Two of the three men did very well with what was given them, while another did nothing. The two were given much more responsibility, while the third was seemingly condemned to die. I suppose the telling of why I was reminded of this parable may be a little self-serving and may also take this parable out of context. If we do well with what God has given us, we will be given more responsibilities in the Kingdom of Heaven. If we do nothing, we are condemned. It's our choice. Pursue Him as he pursues us. Get the Word out. Love others as He loves us. Love Him with all your strength, with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your soul.

The More I Seek You...

2010-01-26T22:57:00.003-05:00

What I read today did not sit well with me and between the hustle and bustle of my day today, I thought about it quite a bit. The excerpt described a shy, sometimes hidden God. By shy, he meant not quick to intervene rather than a timid God. While I understand the concept, he never convinced me shy was the proper word. Some of the scripture he used described a patient God and I believe that is more accurate. He knows exactly when intervention is necessary and I don't believe he needs to restrain Himself in any way. He will intervene at the perfect time according to what He knows must be done.

I read on.

He describes a God who hides and is many times hidden throughout our lives. Although he used scripture to back this up, I'm going to need convincing that this is what is meant. It does not seem to mesh with James 4:8: Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. I am in agreement with Kari Jobe and C.S. Lewis. Kari Jobe sings "The more I seek you, the more I find you..." So true. The more I look for God, the more I see Him. Right now I see Him everywhere and in everything: my family, my friends, my job, music, fortunate circumstances, unfortunate circumstances, a dead leaf blowing across the road in front of my car and I could go on. Maybe I should reign that in a bit, but right now I have no plans to. I see His hand in my life and several of my friends lives. It's a beautiful thing.

C.S. Lewis spoke of God as the “hound of heaven” who pursued him until he came to faith. That does not sound like a God who would later on hide from us in any way. When I stepped into that room almost two years ago now, I had no intention of seeking God. I planned on asking for a few favors for some people at my church. I got more than I expected. He drew me closer to Him that night. Compared to my life before that night, it seemed unimaginably close. I could draw closer every day if I chose to. It is my duty to seek Him and, in one way or another, He will let Himself be found.

Pain

2009-11-16T23:54:00.002-05:00

Colton had to show me his hand. It had been ravaged by vines. He couldn't turn his friend's four-wheeler fast enough and plowed right through them. It left a few scratches, some lingering paper-cut-like pain, and an exciting story in its' wake. Sometimes it strikes me as odd that hours of fun are remember by the few moments of pain. Sometimes I wonder why Gabrielle wants to tell me a rather sobering story from school rather than the probable many times she made a friend laugh, helped out a classmate, or met someone new.

I thought of this again Sunday after singing "Above All" along with the rest of the congregation. There's so many painful words in that chorus: crucified, die, rejected, alone, trampled,fall. Each one strikes home what He went through and compels me to praise in a different manner. It's a "thank you" in a slightly different way then the song before. I'm forever grateful for the pain he went through for us.

I'm also grateful for the work our armed forces have done and are doing. At church a few weeks ago, through what looked like a little nervousness, one of our military men stepped up to the microphone and spoke what may have been the best spoken poem I had ever heard. He spoke of many of the hardships they go through and of his relentless faith in his Lord Jesus through it all. He is a strong man and we're lucky to have him and others like him serving our country.

I wish I had a written copy of that poem.

I read a question concerning a parents' worst nightmare. If it happened to a friend, I pray I would be there to support them through the worst. If it happened to me, I can only hope my psyche would be as strong as the friend who posed the question.

A few weeks ago, I had gone almost a year without a paying job. We were always so thankful in our prayers, and Kim and the kids would keep praying for a job that I'd like. I was just praying for a job, and half expecting one that would humble me more than anything. I suppose my nature goes back there after being humbled for what seems like a long period of time. We were very mindful of our blessings as well. We were thankful, and prayed for our church, our friends, and everyone else who need Him. We still had the same house over our heads, food to eat, and, I think most importantly, a group of friends that continued to pray. I was having a bad couple hours and selfishly wondered out loud when my prayers would be answered. I supposed I wonder if our maker knew where I was that night. I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but after seeing so many bad things happen to good friends, I wondered how dark it would get before the light came. I wonder if it was in His plans to lift us up after that day. After waiting almost a year, I got a message from some friends within days. That message turned into a job. That job turned out to be one I enjoy. Praise God. I'm extremely grateful for the many prayers. They meant so much to me.

I hope many more prayers our being answered throughout our church and throughout the world. Many of us got the message loud and clear. Right now we could use less sarcasm, less cynicism, less anger and less pain.

And more Love.

J.O.Y.--Day 371

2009-08-26T23:28:00.004-04:00

Jesus
Others
Yourself

I started this blog almost 400 days ago knowing each day was different and every day would bring something new to smile about, something I used to do considerably less often.

It's great when they come when you least expect it.

Today, Noah and I build a tall lego block structure on wheels. We used quite a few blocks and were quite proud of it. He begins to push it around the table when suddenly it falls off and shatters the way a brick building shatters when deconstructed by a wrecking ball. I half expected a look of shock or disappointment. Instead a big smile washes over his face turned into a hearty three year old's laugh. I could see "That was awesome!" in his eyes.

Spontaneous trips to get ice cream are few and far between, but tonight was one of those nights. We each got a blizzard, except for Noah. He was happy with his small chocolate ice cream on a cone. We got home an hour or so later having consumed our fill of ice cream and candy. I pulled into the driveway, put the van in park, and, having recognized the tune on the radio, turned it up a little. As time seemed to stop for just a second, everyone began to sing the opening line: "Who am I that the Lord of all the Earth would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?" I smiled and I think we all did in one way or another.

Earlier this summer, I watched Colton as he stood at the plate and thought "What is he doing?" It took another pitch for me to figure it out. Colton was touching the bottom of the plate, the top of the plate, the side farthest from him, then the side closest to him. He drew a straight line down the middle of the plate, then a line across it. Then he points his bat up in the air before grabbing it with both hands intent on crushing a ball to the outfield. I would ask him later why he was drawing a cross on the plate before every pitch. He told me it helped remind him that God was helping him. Awesome. One of Colton's favorite Detroit Tigers was Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez and he found it very interesting how Pudge would do the sign of the cross before every pitch and then after every hit. If he got a hit, Pudge would follow that up by pointing to the sky. I think Pudge may have been an inspiration for him, and seeing Colton do that before every pitch and finding out why he was doing it means more to me than the hits he had and the strikeouts he threw.

I enjoy hearing my kids expand their vocabulary. I noticed one day as Noah said "delicious" perfectly. That same day, I made mention of the word "marvelous" as Gabrielle had used it in her prayer to describe her birthday. That same night Colton thanked God for this wonderful day He had "bestowed" on us. I read some time ago that most people quit adding words to their vocabulary after age 25. I never want to stop and I'd prefer if they didn't either, but that's just me.

Keep Smiling.

That's all I have to say about that.

My journey through the jungle begins today.

2009-06-15T02:02:00.004-04:00

Upwards by Max Lucado

What would it take to restore your hope?

What would you need to reenergize your journey?

Though the answers are abundant, three come quickly to mind.

The first would be a person. Not just any person. You don't need someone equally confused. You need someone who knows the way out.

And from him you need some vision. You need someone to lift your spirits. You need someone to look you in the face and say, "This isn't the end. Don't give up. There is a better place than this. And I'll lead you there."

And, perhaps most important, you need direction. If you have only a person but no renewed vision, all you have is company. If he has a vision but no direction, you have a dreamer for company. But if you have a person with direction--who can take you from this place to the right place--ah, then you have one who can restore your hope.

Or, to use David's words, "He restores my soul." Our Shepherd majors in restoring hope to the soul. Whether you are a lamb lost on a craggy ledge or a city slicker alone in a deep jungle, everything changes when your rescuer appears.

Your loneliness diminishes, because you have fellowship.

Your despair decreases, because you have vision.

Your confusion begins to lift, because you have direction.

Please note: You haven't left the jungle. The trees still eclipse the sky, and the thorns still cut the skin. Animals lurk and rodents scurry. The jungle is still a jungle. It hasn't changed, but you have. You have changed because you have hope. And you have hope because you have met someone who can lead you out.

Your Shepherd knows that you were not made for this place. He knows you are not equipped for this place. So he has come to guide you out.

___________________________________________________________

Unless I become consumed by an unlikely nervous breakdown, I will not lose hope. And unless, in a much more unlikely circumstance, I lose my faith, I will not lose my vision. Unfortunately though, unless a (very possible) miracle happens, I will lack direction tomorrow. I am in the jungle Max speaks of, but because I have hope, I do not fear what is to come. I can look up and see His light shine through the trees, and I can look around me and see His beauty in everything, but I do not see the way out. More likely, I refuse to firmly grasp the hand of the only One who knows the correct path to take. Opportunities come, only to fall by the wayside. Sometimes I feel that way about my spiritual journey. There were probably so many opportunities to develop a relationship with Him, and I refused to see them. It seems like one day last year He said "I'M RIGHT HERE!!!".

Occasionally, someone will enter my jungle, lend a helping hand, and leave the way they came. I could probably follow most of them out, but I am too used to being lost and know the way out is probably an uphill climb that I have no intent in undertaking. As I said, it is not scary here, but it is certainly lonely. I have heard too many sermons telling me that is not true and talked to too many great people to know I do not speak the truth, but at the end of the day, when it's just me here, it feels like exactly that--just me and no One else.

I was told a short story today about a married couple. She was a teacher and he was a mechanic except she no longer had kids to teach and he no longer had cars to work on. They and their three kids were forced to move out of the suburbs in Davison, and into a small apartment above some shop. Soon, they may have to leave the state and move in with family. His point was to remember there are others that have it worse than any situation most of us are in. I don't usually forget that. I don't feel sorry for myself or the situation I've put my family and I in. God has great plans for us. Much like Andrew's deeds from the sermon today, they may not seem great at the time, but if they're His plans, then they're great. Whenever I choose to see the light in the darkness within the trees before me, I will find out what they are. Until then, I will remain lost, and deservedly so.

Take me out to the ball game...

2009-06-02T12:28:00.003-04:00

There's a runner in, but nobody on base. The score is 7-6. Last time the pitcher had two strikes on a kid was just two batters ago. The batter swung and missed, but the catcher dropped the ball. The throw to first was late and the run would eventually score in a game that had been tight all evening. The pitcher seems to be tiring, but the home crowd cheers him on. He hunkers down with the ball and glove against his chest and takes the obligatory deep breath. His leg goes up and in, torquing his body with the force we see in Nascar. His arm goes over the top and this ball is going right over the heart of the plate. It's either going to get nailed or end the game, but it's going to get swung at for sure. Strike three! The home part of the crowd goes wild! The disconsolate batter walks back to the dugout with his head down, but his coach is quick to console him. The winning pitcher pumps his fist, and then, almost immediately, gets in line. Several "Good games." can be heard at once as skin meets skin on walk-by high fives. One team picks up their equipment and walks back to the dugout. The other team bounces back to the bench like there's a invisible jump rope competition going on.

As the pitcher begins to walk my way, I stop, turn around as he passes me, and put my arm around him. "Great job, Colton.", I tell him. "Thanks.", he says with all the enthusiasm of the ball that now lies quietly on the pitchers mound. "You feeling ok?", I ask. "I'm a little dizzy", he says as he holds on to what remains of his Gatorade. After playing third base, then pitching through the third and fourth innings, going back to third, then pitching the sixth and final inning, there seems to be too much Gatorade left. I guess that may be the problem, he agrees like a good kid, and then heads over to the picnic area for snacks, drinks and handouts. Later on, he says the dizziness had turned into a dull headache.

He says he loves baseball, and I love that he loves baseball. It's the only sport I know a little about. I never played myself and I don't think I ever played catch with my dad, so I'm able to live vicariously through his every pitch, although that may not be wholeheartedly true. I just want him happy. Once he's done with baseball, he'll be done. We'll still play catch and stress the importance of God, exercise and a good education. I just worry about him sometimes, you know? He has the same headaches his mom has gotten all her life. Good, happy people like them don't deserve that sort of thing. I worry about Gabrielle, but in a different way. She's got my clumsiness. Poor thing. I worry about Noah just cause he's so little.

I just try to put it all in God's hands. He's got a plan for all of us. I'm not sure if that includes Gabrielle playing softball again next year, but we'll see. We'll see if Noah has the same look of calmness and intensity out on the mound. Until I find out, I'll continue to enjoy the outdoors and going somewhere where the children seem to outnumber the adults three to one, but everyone feels like an active participant. Hands clap, babies cry and everyone smiles. The boys of summer are back.

Lucky number eleven: Day 266

2009-05-14T22:31:00.004-04:00

I have a somewhat irrational infatuation with numbers. The number eleven, in particular. I started noticing it quite a few months ago. I'd look at the time in the morning and I'd see it was eleven minutes after eleven. I'd do the same at night and would see it in again. One I see a pattern, I notice it everywhere. I suppose if I concentrated on the number 10, I'd see it more often. It's now my favorite number. On many computers, it points up twice, much like a God fearing baseball player will do after a big hit. I noticed that after I started saying a small prayer after seeing it so often. People have written books about that number and some think it's very important and might actually "mean something". Who really knows for sure, but if you want something to mean something, it will.

I was watching the Louie Giglio video from How Great is Our God? on youtube and looked at the comments. Someone was arguing with another. His argument included looking up a certain word. I don't remember what the word was, but I remember the definition. It meant assigning importance to something where there was none. It made me think of what I had done that number. It was something I already knew, but I thought that was interesting. I thought about that while on the way to church one day and smiled when I looked to address on the mailbox I was passing. It said eleven seventy five.

I did a search for the number on this blog. It started with my very first blog, to the one entitled "The End". You can probably guess how many there are...one hundred eleven. That REALLY surprised me. I expected maybe 74 or 103, but one hundred eleven? That's funny. Now that Colton knows it's my lucky number, he points it out to me. Kim knows it too and will joke with me about it once in a while. I asked her recently how many facebook friends she had. One eleven she typed back. I literally laughed out loud. She's so witty. I can only assume this is what she was thinking about when she saw Gabrielle's number on her softball uniform when she got it today. Gabrielle showed it to her and Kim said "No way!" and shot me a look and a smile. It looks like the number eleven will be running around the softball field.

I've even associated it with my revelation last year. I can't remember every moment, but one moment that sticks out was seeing exactly eleven o'clock on my phone as I entered the room. From there I remember getting on my knees. I remember sensing his presence soon after. At eleven thirty I remember entering the sanctuary. It ended with an hour more of continuous prayer.

How do I end the ramblings on a seemingly strange subject? I just do.

God is Good.

The End

2009-02-06T09:29:00.005-05:00

It's difficult to not notice the positive anymore. Kim is enjoying this new life as well. The bible study is taking up much of her time, but she enjoys it. I see her trying to apply lessons we learn from church, class and the Bible. I see more smiles on my daughter's face. She is a very kind, sweet little girl. I see Colton put the energy he has always had into activities like Awana. He was part of the Sarah-created pandemonium, and then was pumping his fists vigorously into the air during the second song and praising with all his might. I hope Noah is able to appreciate his family. The old family, while usually having good intentions, was not a Christ worshiping, God fearing, saved by the grace of God family.

I can see the positivity outside my house as well. Dennis and Jennifer have been instrumental in my family's path. They both have admirable qualities that I would like to replicate in myself. I've recently been able to see the sense of humor of people I may not have seen before. Michelle's facebook replies have been some of the funniest I've seen. I mentioned it to her at Awana and we had a good laugh. Wendy and Richard could be a stand-up comedic team in Wyoming somewhere. I believe we're penciled in sometime in March or April for some game time. They're both great fun to talk to and were obviously made for each other. We'll be going over the Priest's house in a few weeks and that could potentially start Colton's drumming career :). Church is great, Awana is wonderful and we'll be venturing out on a new branch tonight with our new small group. Fran and Jerry will be wonderful people to get to know as will the others in the group.

I don't need this blog anymore to notice the positive. I don't dwell on the negative as much. He has changed me. Through the Holy Spirit and through many Christians I've met, our life has changed. While I probably will come back to this blog occasionally to write, I'm going to create another. I need to learn more. I need to take more advantage of this time and read more. I need to talk more and I will find a way to volunteer my time more. That's what the new blog will be about. Each day I write, I will add what I have learned that day. I don't even know what that means yet, but we'll see.

God is Good.

Intensity--Day 265

2009-02-02T15:08:00.006-05:00

Something happened yesterday. I attribute it to the list below:

1. I believe in God.

2. I am overly emotional.

3. I am overly sensitive.

I'm not sure if that is the correct order, but it's close. I had told Kim on the way to church that last week I hadn't felt "connected" to the music like I usually did. I felt the congregation was unusually quiet. Later on, I read that someone else had had difficulty focusing. I thought that may have my problem, and it may have been. If I would've thought about it, I would've been more determined to be more focused. That was not my determination, though. It was praise Him and learn more life lessons I can apply. I, and many others as a matter of fact, felt I got something more tangible from the Sunday school class. There are ways to get to the root of our children's problems than talking and discipline. Sometimes, it needs to be more of a two-way street, rather than my way "cause I said so." Sometimes, they have valid problems we need to make sure we do not merely push aside because we believe them to be trivial. I enjoyed the video and listening to the discussion afterward.

After the announcements, and after the kids had gone to Sonshine park, it was praise and worship time. I immediately connected with the first song. The praise of the congregation seemed tenfold from last week. It helped having Roger directly behind me. There was no mistaking his voice or his praise. A tear rushed from my eye to my chin in seconds. It was unexpected as was tear that fell from the other eye. As I stopped singing to listen to the congregation for a bit, I felt barraged by markings of His beauty around me. Aside from being a guy crying in public, it was great. The tears did not last through the whole worship time, but the emotion and connection did.

The message of Christian maturity was helpful. It's been nine months since I finally started figuring things out. It's good to know there's been people that took over five years in Corinth. There are most likely people that have stagnated in their spiritual walk at my church. I pray they heard the message as well and understand how important it is to continue to attempt to be more like Him.

We prayed when the sermon was over. I closed my eyes, began to pray, and the tears came back. We ate the bread, prayed again, and the tears came back. I should mention that in all cases, I felt they were tears of joy. That didn't make them any more unexpected though.

The service was over. I felt energized. I felt awkward, but happy.

I saw someone I felt had contributed the energizing and happiness and thanked them. I would have to assume they had more important things to do or had nothing to say or felt awkward themselves, since they seemed to act as if they couldn't care less. That, as well, was unexpected. I felt deflated. How do I let that happen? That, not the two hours before that, is what sticks with me a day later.

Later that night, I went to a friends to watch the Super Bowl. Colton had a friend over, and Gabrielle had nothing to do, so she went with me. I wasn't sure she'd have anything to do, but there were other children her age there, albeit all boys. She played for a bit, but spent much of the time cuddled up against me. I was glad she went. Jason had the 3-d glasses I didn't even know about to watch a couple commercials. She really enjoyed that as well. I got to see some old friends, and had a good time. More importantly I think, Gabrielle did as well.

God is Good.

God is Great--Day 259

2009-01-27T21:42:00.004-05:00

I suppose I shouldn't bring up how I've been feeling lately, but it needs to be addressed somehow, and Kim's not going to call me on it. She's not like that. She said she was sorry for her crankiness late Sunday and I told her "Me too." I told her I meant I was sorry for my crankiness, not hers. We laughed and made a few more humorous comments as we stood in the middle of the room holding each other up.

Monday seemed better. My irritability was not as noticeable. I must say it has a calming effect to open the Bible and read. I also re-started a book Jennifer let me borrow a while back. As I did last time, I read the page she had bookmarked for me then started reading it from the beginning. It's an easy read and attempts to challenge the reader to not be as complacent in their faith. It questions where all the childlike faith has gone. Some of it is in my house. I'm very proud of Gabrielle and Colton and their work in Sunday school, Awana and Son-shine park. They ask good questions and say some very earnest prayers every night.

I didn't get enough sleep last night and woke up irritable again. That irritability has to be reined in when you're watching a two-year old all day. He's going to ask the same questions over and over. And over. No matter how many times I answer, some questions will be repeated. If I read him a book, he's not going to be courteous and wait til the page is done before asking all his questions. When we're done playing cars or blocks or sometimes even sandbox he's dumping everything out when he gets bored. I thank God for these things. It's what makes toddlers great. When I'm irritable, though, I can get irritated by such little things. I do my best to make sure Noah can't tell. I don't have the patience many others have, which is probably why God only gave me one at a time to watch over an extended period of time.

Kim thinks I have cabin fever. I don't leave the house unless I'm looking for a job or making a bank deposit. Having such a tight budget doesn't leave me with many other options. This is fine with me, but I suppose I should spend my time more wisely at home. This cabin fever idea would explain why last Friday was so much fun, but that would also be explained by the company I was amongst that night.

She has given me a few ideas. She also says things like "That would be a blessing." It's great we can remember to be grateful to God for everything. Sometimes we take things for granted, but we always come back to Him. This time last year, that was not the case.

We found out today He has lowered our house payment by $100. He sent us a check for $75 for something we had not dealt with in 5 or 6 years. We were sent another check from our insurance agency. We found out we're not over the miles on our leased vehicles. We may be well under. He's providing and we're surviving. Against my better judgment sometimes I worry we're still too comfortable as in:

"He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable, so which one do you want to be?"

from the song "My Jesus". Things may get worse before they get better, but I can't worry about that. It's not in my hands.

I paused at that last sentence. I feel I must do my part, but that puts things back in my hands. Give me time, Lord. I'll figure it out.

God is faithful.

Give me one reason--Day 257

2009-01-25T23:45:00.006-05:00

I think one of the reasons I may have enjoyed the sermon today is that it discussed maturity of faith. I would tell anyone who asks that I am immature in my faith. I have so much to learn. Sometimes I feel there are so many people to learn from. Pastor Don says in that it is not him we should be learning from. It is the Holy Spirit. Pastor Don dislikes and warns against getting attached to a "person." After many hours of thought (I wrote part of his Sunday, but ran into a mental stumbling block, and finished on Monday), this reminds me of Proverbs 2. If we accept His words and store up His commands within us, turn up our ears to wisdom, apply our hearts to understanding, call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, then we will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. We have to be able to discern whom the Holy Spirit is actually working through and follow Him.

Mature believers have a deeper understanding of the things of God.

My understanding is not yet deep. Although my belief is held very deep within me, my understanding is sometimes superficial and is not yet where I want it to be.

Mature believers are taught by the Spirit of God.
Again, I'm not all the way there yet. I listen to the sermons, I go to the classes, I question others, but I do not fully apply what I learn. One is not being taught if (s)he is not learning.

Mature believers accept the things (or teachings) of God.
I accept them, but I feel I ask too many questions. Questions are necessary, but many times would not be if I would accept what the Holy Spirit is trying to teach me. On the other hand, without the questions, I feel I will not gain a deeper understanding of what I'm learning.

Mature believers judge all things.

Being as introspective as I am, I judge nearly everything. The important thing here though is to adhere to the first three concepts of mature believers.

Yesterday's blog title was based on a song Colton and Garrett were playing on Rockband. Today it's named after a song Colton played air guitar to. I played air guitar to it one time long ago, and every time he hears it, he lets me know. There's a guitar solo near the end of it and he called me from his room when it was getting near. From the bottom of the stairs I watch as he breaks into full on air guitar. He barely missed a beat and we were both smiling at the end. I've added it to the playlist for now. It's nearly impossible to not bob your head or tap your foot as you listen to it. If you know how to play the air guitar, give it a listen.

God is groovy.

Nine in the Afternoon--Day 256

2009-01-24T23:38:00.003-05:00

Kim got a message from what sounded like an excited Fran Maddock tonight. She said we're in her life group with one other couple. I chose to get into a life group rather than a discovery group at the last second. God gave us freedom of thought, but sometimes I wonder when or if the decision is made for me. God knows I need a push in one direction or the other once in a while. I figured Kim would have more time for this group since it meets less often and I don't think there is any homework. She is already in the Women's Bible Study group and works for quite a while on the homework. If there is a Men's Bible Study group, I hope I'm able to join that as well, but we'll see. I'm really excited to be in a group with the Maddocks. They seem so genuinely nice. I'm looking forward to our time together with them and the other family.

Garrett and Jiselle are staying the night again. Colton was the first to say his prayer and then Garrett said he wanted to go next. He has sort of a loud, authoritative voice. He thanked God for quite a few things. It was a wonderful prayer once again. He said he'd like to come to church with us every week. I hope he can. It'd be nice if the rest of his family could come to, and we'll probably bring it up, but not push it. It would be an even longer drive for them.

Just taking those two to church reminds me of something Laura said during the Awana leaders meeting before Awana started up again. She said something to the affect that we needed to remember we were not doing what we were doing for anything that was fitting our agenda in any way. We are doing it to help lead children to Christ and we were doing it all for His glory. I'm very glad to be able to take them.

We went sledding today. It was quite cold and I didn't have a hat. Thankfully, I had a hood on my sweatshirt I was able to pull up over my ears. We had a good time sledding, laughing, wrestling, and talking for a little over an hour. A hour later, Kim went with Gabrielle to the roller skating rink and Colton went to the Rec Center for an All-Kids Night at the Rec Center for a few hours. They both had a good time and both brought home a friend.

As a facebook friend put it, I'm excited for some Jesus tomorrow.

God is Good.

Honored--Day 255

2009-01-23T23:27:00.002-05:00

I've tried to watch what I say better than I used to. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all is something we teach the kids and something we try to do ourselves. Sometimes saying something nice may seem out of place, but most of the time I realize it can't hurt. I still feel most people aren't complimented enough. Anyway, I bring this up because I momentarily paused as I was about to shake Pastor Don's hand. I had felt honored to be invited over, and as we were leaving, I felt compelled to tell him so. Is "honored" the correct word? Would that be taken seriously? I thought something like this in a span of a few seconds, and I decided that yes, it was the correct word for this situation. Whether or not he would take it seriously was not up to me. So as I shook his hand, I thanked him for the invitation, and told him it was an honor to have been able to come by their home.

I'm not a conversationalist. I never have been. Tonight went reasonably well, though. It certainly helped to have a couple there where I knew we had at least a couple things in common with. I enjoyed every minute of my time there. Rich is as funny as I guessed he would be. Wendy is as enjoyable to be around and as sweet as I remember her being in class. I got to read some of Angela's writings and I got to hear some more of Pastor Don's stories I had not heard before. Lisa is the epitome of sweetness, and they have done a great job of passing that along to the kids. The pizza was good, the desserts were good, even the kids were good. It was a really enjoyable night. We talked and we ate. We talked some more and we ate some more. We talked some more and then we played a game. We finished the game and we went to go talk some more.

In our 15 years of marriage, Kim and I have never had a circle of friends we've gone out with. We have very rarely invited others over either. If we're going to start, and we most likely will in our life group, I'm glad it's with other Christian families. Glad may not be the right word there. I am ecstatic that it's with other Christian families. Maybe ecstatic is over the top, but I get the idea.

I pray the Holliday and Dionne families continue to be blessed by Him in many ways. I pray their fellowship with others continues to be blessed and others are able to see Him in them as we do. I pray our family continues to be blessed and God uses us all for his righteous plan. Whatever you want us to do, Lord, we are willing. Thank you for the fellowship tonight and thank you for all you have done, are doing, and will do for us.

Amen.

Day 254

2009-01-23T08:42:00.002-05:00

Noah has this thing with opposites. While I'm changing his diaper in the morning, he'll turn the light on with his foot and say "Off." He'll want to be picked up and say "Down?". He wants to get put down and he'll say "Up.". Like I told Colton last night, almost everything Noah does is cute. I'm just glad he's in the right ballpark.

Colton got a good laugh out of a small anecdote I told at the dinner table last night. I told him how I had to sneeze while Noah was on my lap. I turned my head and tried not to. My "Ahh, Ahhhhh, Ah, Ahh" in quick succession gave Noah a look of concern. "Are you ok, Daddy?", Noah says. It made me laugh and took the sneeze away. Colton's got this awesome laugh that would make you think you just told him the best joke in the world. He thought it was pretty funny.

I enjoy our time together has a family. We seem to talk more at the table, we're together every night in prayer, and we're starting to do family night on Fridays more often. This Friday night will be spent at the Hollidays. I'm looking forward to that. I'm also looking forward to Easter Sunday at church. Last Easter was the first day I decided we'd be going back to church on what I was hoping would be a regular basis. That Sunday, I'll be up in the video area. While I'd always rather be with Kim at that time, that area was something I used to take for granted. Not anymore.

Bee's Nostrils...again---Day 253

2009-01-21T21:54:00.002-05:00

The laughter started in the early morning. I was wasting a few minutes checking out some "flair" on Facebook. I found one that made me laugh and sent it out. As soon a I got up the next morning, the laughter began again. "Again" being the important word here. Noah has improved his pronunciation of many words in the last year or so, but "again" has needed no improvement. He still says it the same way he did a year ago. He says a-GAIN?? in a very adorable way.

Stop the presses. I had to pause in my blog writing to go say prayers. We said them in Gabrielle's room. Colton got up immediately to go to his room, and Noah was sitting up playing with some toys he had grabbed. I kissed Colton goodnight, and laid Noah back down. As I was covering him up, I said "Love you, Noah." As clear as day he said "I love you too." He has never said that before. He doesn't know what that means yet, but that still means a lot. I told Kim what he had said and when she came down she said, with a smile on her face, that he said it to her too.

Back to my "again" theme, Noah says "Again?" before I even get his pants on each morning. He knows that when I pull them up, I lift him up in the air as well. Eventually, he folds his body over my shoulder. On the third or fourth time, he is all the way over my shoulders while I hold him by his ankles. This morning he grabs the back of my pants as I try to pull him back up and won't let go. He let go after a few seconds, but it was funny and I was laughing again. We did that a few times before he was ready for something new.

While playing with him today, he made me laugh out loud quite a few times. We had a good time today. Later on, I checked out Facebook and I had gotten a bumper sticker in Haiku form. It's safe to say the word refrigerator had never seemed so out of place and so funny in my life.

Kim made meatloaf with potatoes and dinner with the fam was great as usual. Soon it was time for Awanas. Allison and I talked all the way there, and most of the way back. She enjoys laughing and makes me laugh everytime we go. Awana was great. Brenda's pretty smile and calm demeanor always begins the night with a relaxing atmosphere...before the chaos begins. Tara went through an amazing 11 sections including rattling off every book in the old and new testament. Trent hadn't been to Awana in three weeks, but was able to do a few verses himself. Caleb was his usual slightly mischievous, but humorous self. All the different personalities bring a smile to my face for one reason or another. There are many great parents out there.

Mental note: no more stuffed animals in Noah's crib. It is very late and he is still up there talking with them all.

P.S. The odd title is borrowed and embodies the silliness of the day. I think of bee's nostrils and I smile. I think of Noah's "aGAIN??" and I smile. I think of trying to say "Irish Wristwatch" and I smile. I think of Kim trying to say "Irish Wristwatch" (Irish Wish Wash) and I chuckle. I think "Refrigerator" and I nearly choke. P.P.S. The number 253 must be off. I will total 365 days in late April, but that is only about 100 days away (253 + 100 < 365). It would help if I wouldn't do things like have two "day 251"s. That's just silly.

Revelations--Day 251

2009-01-20T21:50:00.006-05:00

Another song has been added to the playlist. I had it stuck in my head as we came in from Colton's basketball practice. As with many songs I get stuck in my head, I was repeating a couple of lines over and over:

Give me a revelation. Show me what to do.
'Cause I've been trying to find my way. I haven't got a clue.

I am trying to find my way right now, but that doesn't mean I'm lost. It's almost impossible to get lost if you know who to follow. If I take my eyes off Him though, I will certainly feel lost. I learned something important (many things actually) from Adam. He would often say "Go back to what you know." Many times when I think about that, I find myself going back to that night exactly nine months ago. Sometime between 11:10 and 11:20pm, I had a very important revelation. I went from believing in God to KNOWING He is always there, always has been, and always will be. I felt his presence in that small room. That helps reminds me He is here with me now and He is with my family while they sleep. He is with my friends. He is everywhere. I've probably written pretty much the same thing on different days, but some days it impacts me more than others.

Back to the present. Back to positivity of the present. Noah's attention span in getting longer. I read four and half books to him before he started to really show his boredom. The first was a little hard cover ABC book. We made it through that one and moved on to his fairly new Elmo book. He pushed the musical buttons at the right times, and sometimes he didn't. He just wanted to hear the noises. Either way, he listened to me read the whole thing. I had also grabbed the O, P, and Q books. Colton had the whole collection of these books memorized by the time he was four. We read to him quite a bit and it shows. He's a good reader. Noah listened to O, got restless while listening to P, and lost it halfway through Q. He enjoys answering questions throughout the books, but he didn't care anymore on the last one. It was time to find something else to do.

Colton had a collection of good grades to show me when he got home from school. That was good to see. Gabrielle struggled a bit with her homework about money, but she pushed through it and did well. Later on, Gabrielle had Girl Scouts to go to. She came home with a sock puppet. I could tell she really liked it. Kim showed me some pictures of others girls sock puppets. They were all really well done and looked like they had fun doing them. Almost as soon as she stepped in the house, it was time to go to Colton's practice. Gabrielle likes to go because she has a new friend there. Colton practiced well, hustled, and listened to his coach. That's all I can ask for. Gabrielle played with Brooke almost the whole time.

Gabrielle and I thanked God for her new friend in our prayers tonight. I really should thank Him for all the wonderful people who he has put in the path of my life.

So I will.

Dear God, thank you for revelations. Thank you for the people you use to help bring these revelations into light. Thank you for Kim, Colton, Gabrielle, Noah, Pastor Don and Lisa, Pastor Bob, Dennis and Jennifer, Adam and Keri, Jim T., Mom B, my mom, Wendy and Richard, Wendy and Dave, Jim and Cheryl, Jerry and Fran, Tracy and Lowell, Angela and Scott, Jim and Ginny, Jim Stein and Jim Priest, Brenda, Anne, all the kids at Awana, Mary, Allison, Emily, Ray and many others. I have been truly blessed by a wondrous God. Please help me remember all the things you have done for us. You sent your son to die for us. The least I can do is live for you.

In your son's name I pray,
Amen.

Moo--Day 251

2009-01-19T23:51:00.003-05:00

I've mentioned odd coincidences several times in this blog. Hearing the same joke from two different sources qualifies as a coincidence to me. I was watching a kids show with Noah one morning, and a monkey says (yes, a monkey) "Knock knock." The other monkey says "Who's there?" First monkey: "The Interrupting Cow". Second monkey: "Interrupting Co--" First monkey: "Moo." That was a new one to me. I thought it was kind of funny and told it to the kids later. Colton thought it was hilarious. He had to tell Mom when she got home and she thought it was funny too. I was watching a movie tonight (Half Nelson with Ryan Gosling. Don't bother.) and the main character's sister says "Knock knock." He says "Who's there?" In what seemed like the next 10 seconds, I thought of that joke and how very highly unlikely it was that the next line in the movie would be "The Interrupting Cow." She then says "The Interrupting Cow." I had to laugh.

A 23 year old young man is a billionaire because he knows adults like to keep in touch with friends, find old friends, join groups and generally be as silly as the internet will let them. I joined Facebook in 2007, but never used it. I had read an article about him and Facebook and how he had turned down 1 billion dollars from Yahoo last year. He has sold parts of it, but still owns 20 percent of it. If he sold it now, he'd have $3 billion dollars in his pocket. That's pretty amazing he was able to start this thing from his dorm room. I've started using it recently and had a bit of fun. Kim has joined as well and has found some friends she went to school with. It's a new, small part of our life and we're enjoying it.

I thank God for the strength He gives me through the good and bad times. Right now, I'm looking for more self-discipline in more parts of my life. I have prayed for it, but it hasn't taken hold as much as I would like. I'd like to prove to myself that people CAN change. I'm too old for the military, so if you know where I can get some, please let me know.

God is faithful (Thanks Wendy and Kelly).

Sunday--Day 250

2009-01-18T23:37:00.002-05:00

Another Sunday has come and gone. Another Sunday of Sunday School sitting next to Kim and listening to a man make so much sense on the subject of raising our kids to be worshipers of a wonderful God.

Another Sunday of spending time up in the video area with a nice view of the whole congregation. There was a part of a song that asked us to put our hands in the air. I usually only see women do that for one reason or another. This time, there were three people with their hands up, and they were all men. Marty had both hands straight up, Jim Buongiorno had his left hand up and Pastor Don had his hands up creating a half circle with his arms. I'd never seen Pastor Don do that before. It was glorious to watch.

Another Sunday where Gabrielle falls on my chest and lays there while I sit in a chair. She just curled right up. She got up for a second, and then laid back down. That's something Dad's get to enjoy for just a short amount of time. I cannot take it for granted. Gabrielle and Kim made doughnuts today. They were really good.

Another Sunday of playing cars and trains and dolls with Noah and chasing him around the house whenever he feels like not giving up whatever you're asking for. He just starts laughing and running away. I think he wants to be caught, but the chase is fun as well.

I asked Colton if he thinks about God every day; even when we're not saying prayers. He said he did. He said he thinks about Him all the time. I told him I was glad to hear that and wanted to take the conversation further, but didn't know what to say.

It was a good day. I would like to one day appreciate every day as much as I do Sundays.

I actually came upon this video back in November. My favorite part is when he says "If you think He doesn't change lives, you've never met Him."

Get well, Clark--Day 247

2009-01-15T21:26:00.005-05:00

When you have three children to take care of, are jobless and hear the rumors Kim is hearing in the Flint school system, it's tough not to worry. This is why I like Philippians 4:4-7 so much. Not only does it remind us to bring our request to God, but it reminds us to rejoice, not once, but twice. No matter what happens, we need to rejoice in the wonderful plan He has in store for His children. Adam explained to me how we must always have joy in our hearts. That does not mean we will always be happy, but we will have joy in our hearts knowing the Holy Spirit is residing there. Those verses literally fill my heart with joy every time I read them.

Gabrielle thinks we need to make up a handshake before kisses and hugs at night. We'll work on it, but not tonight. It's too late.

I gave Noah a bath this morning. Here' proof:

I'm looking in the camera. He's making faces at himself.

We had cake and ice cream at Dennis and Jennifer's. It was the same singing, banter, and laughter as the rest of the parties. Everyone had fun. Dennis mentioned something about going down there sometime during the day. I probably should. If it's going to be Bible related, I need to come up with something to discuss other than what we already have. That's going to be tough. I used to have something for Adam all the time, but now that he's not there, I've got nothing to discuss. We differed in some areas, but we did some bonding through our discussions that I found with no one else. Considering how many options there are, that seems odd. Until I'm led to someone else or they're led to me, it's just God and I. That's fine with me.

I'm really praying my friend makes it through everything he's going through o.k. He has two really great twin sons. They haven't been over in a while, but they treated Colton great even though there's about a 6 or 7 year age difference. I think Colton remembers them more than he remembers Clark even though he sees Clark at least once or twice a year. Clark's a great guy, too. Maybe that's why his stroke has upset me so much. Get well, Clark.

Kim and kids--Day 246

2009-01-14T23:36:00.002-05:00

I was told it was hard to tell who was the bigger kid was tonight, me or the kids. It was sort of a compliment. I made a little pac-man sort of thing with a piece of paper and gave it to Sloan. Jaselle wanted one. Then Gabrielle and Ryan and E.J. and Brandi and Carson and Blake and Shane and Delani. While the ladies were picking up, I was doing origami.

Awana went well. Carson brought a friend. I introduced myself and told him what would happen tonight. He seemed sort of quiet, but ready to enjoy himself. I also talked with him while Carson recited his memorized verses. He doesn't know a whole lot about Jesus, doesn't go to church and can't remember if he's ever read part of the Bible. I hope he can keep coming and/or maybe even attend church with us. I hope a lot of things for him. He seemed like a very sweet young man and asked some good questions.

I created a Facebook page for Kim. We had a few good laughs as we tried to coherently type together. She found some friends she had not seen in a long time. Talking and laughing with Kim was an excellent way to end the night.

I know you don't read my blog, but I love you, babe.

'night.

Day 245

2009-01-13T22:06:00.003-05:00

I found out through an e-mail from Adam this morning that a good friend of mine had a stroke this morning. I prayed for him when I found out, but didn't mention him in our nightly prayers, so I asked Colton to pray a small prayer for him before he went to sleep as I kissed him goodnight. He asked me if I would say one with him, so I did. I took a deep breath and we prayed for him together.

I got a sweet comment from a friend of mine. She helped me remember how faithful God is.

Kim made chop suey on rice tonight. It one of my favorite meals. She usually makes enough people for 10, so I'll probably have it for breakfast and lunch tomorrow as well.

We went to Allison's band concert tonight. It was short and sweet. Allison did well and we all enjoyed ourselves.

Special--Day 244

2009-01-12T23:32:00.003-05:00

It's Monday. Some days it's tough to pick out the positives especially when I don't get all that I wanted to done. I think sometimes I'd like to look over the positives and dwell on the negative. Well, that's why this blog is here in the first place. I would dwell on the negative way too much. I suppose the positive of my day could be the same old stuff. I enjoy getting Noah up. He's usually standing up or bouncing. Yesterday he was bouncing and saying "Oh yeah." repeatedly. I asked Colton if he had taught him that and he said that he had. It was pretty funny. Maybe I'll try it when no one's around. We had another good day together and the kids came home with good grades. I took Colton to basketball practice and he is improving as are all the kids in at least some small way. Kim had her first Women's Bible study class tonight. She said it went well. Sometimes I think that none of this would've happened had God not revealed himself to me last April. I would not have met so many wonderful people. I would not be helping out in Awana. Kim and I and the kids wouldn't be going to Sunday School. I wouldn't be joining a small group at church either. Kim and I wouldn't have taken Jim's class. I wouldn't have had that interesting conversation with Diane (she's been missing for a few weeks from church. I hope everything's alright). Kim and I wouldn't be trying to regularly read our bibles and we wouldn't be saying prayers every night. I wouldn't think of the Bible as the word of God, but rather a book I should be reading. The list goes on. He did reveal himself to me that night, so all this did happen. My life and my family's life has changed.

One of the more positive moments of the day was reading something Gabrielle had written. She had colored a paper stocking at school. It is mostly green with some red on top. It says:

The best thing about Christmas is knowing that it's God's birthday! Because God is very special person. He died for us and to let us be alive right now. That makes you feel very special knowing that someone died for you. Everyone should believe that! And that is the best thing about Christmas!

by: Gabby

Gabrielle is a very special person herself. I should remind her how special she is more often.

Let's go backwards--Day 243

2009-01-11T19:58:00.003-05:00

I'm blogging.

I got a compliment a few minutes ago. Compliments are nice. I've heard from people that have come from out of state that Michigan seems very cynical. When I heard that some time ago, I thought how true that seemed. I was cynical and many people I knew were the cynical type. I fight the cynicism with compliments occasionally. It's nice to see when others have joined the fight. :)

Kim gave me a kiss goodnight after giving instructions on cooking a roast tomorrow. Sounds like fun.

I felt the urge to go tell the kids how much I loved them after they had been in bed 15 minutes or so. They hugged me back (twice) after I had hugged them and given them a kiss on the cheek. They love me too.

We said prayers and the kids headed off to bed.

We played puzzles and read books with Noah. As when Gabrielle and Colton were little, I grab the last piece when they're not looking and when they're looking for it, pull it out from behind their ear. As with the other kids, Noah grabs behind his ear looking for more.

Garrett's dad picked him up. Garrett told his dad our church was different from others. They listened to stories and got to play games. It was good to know he enjoyed himself today. As I've said before on this blog, he's a good kid.

We had pizza for dinner. It was really good. Two mediums are not big enough for this family anymore especially with Garrett over.

We went sledding. It was cold, but we had fun. We only had a couple sleds and no snow board, but we made it work. While I stood at the top most of the time, two of them would sit on one pulling the other sled in a variety of ways. Many of the ways caused wipeouts, but sometimes that seems like it's the best part. Most kids I see get up with a big smile on their face.

I did some stuff on facebook. Wendy and her husband Richard are hilarious. She introduced me to some new Christian music. I'm forever grateful.

I enjoyed church today. During the fellowship time after Pastor Don's sermon, I introduced myself to Jim Priest, the drummer during praise and worship time. I introduced him to Colton and Jim was nice enough to give Colton a try on the church drums. Colton's face lit up when Jim gave him the drumsticks. Colton gave the impression he thought it'd be really difficult (it probably would be), but he came away still wanting to play. Jim really encouraged him to give it shot. Garrett is learning the guitar, so he and Colton are already thinking of names for their band.

I really enjoyed Pastor Don's message and his stories really struck me this week.

I enjoyed I Corinthians 1:2

...those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ—their Lord and ours:

and I Corinthians 1:9

God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

We are called to be holy, so we should be holy. There are so many little and big ways to help others. Together as a church, as a community and as united individuals, we can change the world one child of God at a time.

Sunday School was interesting. It started out slowly. I wasn't expecting a video. The more the speaker laid the foundation, the more I enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to more in the coming weeks. Fortunately for us, the kids enjoy Sunday School as well and Noah is content to play in the nursery. Thank you, God, for that.

We wanted to leave for church earlier than normal, but we ended up leaving at the normal time. We were still there a little early.

There wasn't a whole lot of time to get ready for church, but the kids were fed, Noah gave no hassles, and we were off with time to spare.

I awoke.

Prayers--Day 242

2009-01-10T23:45:00.003-05:00

The Lanza girls didn't want to leave when their brother came to pick them up. They were busy playing with Noah's blocks in the living room. Before that they were in Gabrielle's room all morning. I supplied them with lemonade and some Nacho Chef Boyardee Noodles I had never seen before and they were set for quite a while. Allison and Emily came over while Kim and Mary went shopping. Emily and I got into a shooting match with Colton's nerf guns and bullets. Someone's gonna get an eye taken out. I don't know if Emily was aiming for the face, but she somehow shot through the glasses I was wearing. It was a pretty good time. Allison got tired of watching us have such a good time and wanted to play. She took mine and I moved on. I blew some bubbles with Noah and we played with some Flarp when he wasn't playing in his car. Speaking of Noah, he's been eating dinner lately. He usually won't. He'll push it away right away and say "I don't want it, OK??!?" He started with the applesauce and moved on to the pork steaks.

Colton came home really late from Garrett's house. Garrett is staying the night and is going with us to church for Sunday School and then Son-lite park. Kim was just getting in bed, so we said prayers in our bedroom. Garrett goes with us to Awana on Wednesdays, but I didn't expect him to stick around while we said our prayers. We asked him if he wanted to say a prayer, and he said he really didn't have much to say. Colton went first, then I, then Kim, then Gabrielle. We asked Garrett again, and he proceeded to say a short, albeit quite beautiful, prayer.

Me: "Amen. Very nice, Garrett."
Garrett: "Yeah. I don't say prayers very often, but I'm really good at saying them."

LOL. That's awesome.

Day 241

2009-01-09T01:12:00.002-05:00

I had made it a week, then forgot to post. I do that a lot. Forget that is. I forget my keys. Forget my wallet. I'll even forget to finish an occasional sente

The Lanza girls were over tonight, while Colton spent the night at Garretts. As I've said before, they are very sweet girls. Jiselle is more silly and energetic. Jalina is younger, quieter, and has a really cute smile.

I haven't been up to much lately, but I'm looking forward to the Sunday school class on parenting, the discovery group (if I end up joining one), and the Love and Respect conference. I pray that God's will is done in each.

He is good.

Noah, Awana, and Gabrielle--Day 239

2009-01-07T11:08:00.009-05:00

I look outside and I see a short term benefit of not having a job. The roads look pretty bad. I've never liked driving in the winter. If you've been driving between Lapeer and Oxford in the early morning in the winter in the last 10 years or so and came across a long line of cars going 25-30 mph, I was probably at the front of the pack. Don't get me wrong. I'd rather be still driving to work, but I can still look at the positive side of this.

The layoff also came at a good time in that we have either almost met or already exceeded the amount of miles we are allowed on both of our leased vehicles. Now, they're rarely used and not costing us more money. Don't get me wrong. I'd rather be losing money with the miles on the car rather than losing money not working, but I'm trying to be positive here.

I've also been available to volunteer during school hours and see Gabrielle and Colton. That's been fun.

Of course the best part of not currently having a job is all the time I spend with Noah. Stick around him for 5 minutes or so, he'll get to know you, and you'll see how much of a joy he is to be around. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be working, but...

I can't finish that sentence. It'd be a total lie. I'd much prefer to be home with him. So, for now, I'm very lucky and blessed in that regard.

I'm hoping good things come out of the time I spent at the staffing service Monday, but I'm enjoying this while I can.

As I was taking Noah up to change what would turn out to be an horrendously dirty diaper this morning, I paused to ask him who the people were in the frames I had put up yesterday.

"Who's that, Noah?"

"Colton!!!"

"Who's that?"

"Noah!!!?"

"Who's over there?"

"Gabrielle!!!"

"Who's that, Daddy?"

"That's Garrett, Colton's friend."

"Who's that?"

"Who is it, Noah?"

"It's Em-i-ly!!!"

I proceed to go upstairs. A couple feet from the pictures we still have our nativity scene out.

"Who's that, Daddy?"

"Who is it, Noah?"

"Je-sus!"

I had to laugh. It was unexpected. I didn't know Kim or the kids had told him. I told him he was right, and spent the next 15 minutes changing his diaper and applying some lotion. Good times.

Awana was later. We had fun as usual on the way there, while we were there, and on the way back. Garrett couldn't come this week, so Colton took our neighbor, Tim. While we were there, the kids got to put red stickers (measles) on a leader of their choosing. Brandi counted 25 on my face and ears. The kids were so gentle putting them on. Not one child put a sticker on my face hard enough where I thought it would stick. That gentleness evaporated when I asked if they wanted to take them off. I had bent down to their height, closed my eyes, and soon had a bunch little fingers scraping at my eyes, ears, cheeks, nose and mouth. I supposed I shouldn't have asked if they wanted to "tear" them off. I'm hoping I'm needed with Gabrielle next year. The kids are really great.

On the way home, I stopped at a gas station and we all got something to drink. When we got home it was time for showers and bed. After prayers, Gabrielle tells us that there's only five months left in the school year and she can't tell time as well as she'd like to yet. After Kim had given her a kiss and gone downstairs, I asked her about the time again. She said that when she asks when lunch is, her teacher tells her. She doesn't know when that is, so she asked her teacher how long that is. She said her teacher tells her to "figure it out." If my life was a TV show, this is where the crowd would say "Awwwwwwwwww." I could tell that made her sad. We spent the 20 minutes or so going over it. She struggled with it as expected, but she had at least learned a little bit. She seemed happier. Seeing her smile and say "Good night, Daddy." was probably the highlight of my day.

Question asked by a song currently playing off the playlist:

"How great is our God?"

Answer:

I don't believe we'll ever be able to truly answer that question, but it's great to think about.

Broken Glass--Day 238

2009-01-06T23:59:00.006-05:00

I've moved stuff around in the living room in the last couple days. I'd wanted the tv on the other side of the room for years, but it's difficult to do without having a cable running along the drywalled ceiling. I decided to do it anyway. I brought down a bookshelf from Colton's room and put it in the living room. The other bookshelf was too small for all the books I wanted to put in it. Colton and Gabrielle were unexpected excited when they saw the new configuration to the room.
I also decided to put some pictures up on what seemed like a really bare wall where the tv used to be. I grabbed a hammer, some nails, some pictures we had put up without framing and some frames. I put a couple up, letting Noah hammer in a few nails. I went to the kitchen to grab another frame and come back to see Noah with the hammer in the air ready to pound on his picture and the big frame it's in. "Noah, No!"

"Whyyyyy?"

Such an innocent question. If it's fun to tap nails into the wall, why not some glass too?

It looks pretty good. Maybe I've got too much time on my hands, but that's not always a bad thing.

So Proud--Day 237

2009-01-05T23:41:00.007-05:00

Kim got a call from someone at about 6:15 tonight when Gabrielle was just starting her dinner. I can't remember who called her, but she mentioned something about a ball. Oh no, I thought. Colton has basketball practice at 7. He hadn't had a practice since the week before Christmas. We asked Colton to make himself a sandwich and we were on our way. At the beginning of practice, the coach made a kid a captain who had stuck out to him for one reason or another. He asked him to pick a co-captain by the end of the practice. I wondered how the kid would be able to choose. He'd be too busy just trying to get through the practice. By the end, the coach pulled the kid aside while the rest of the kids got a drink and asked him if he'd made a decision. He looked at the kids as they walked out, thought about it, but didn't say anything. The coach asked if he could make a recommendation. Perry said "Sure." The coach said _______. I couldn't make it out. When the kids came back, the coach asked Perry if he wanted to make the announcement. Perry stood in front of the other kids and said "Colton, you're the man." Colton smiled and looked at me. I smiled back. We talked about it on the way home. He thought it was pretty cool, but he didn't know what he was supposed to do. I told him to just keep hustling, listening to the coach, helping out the other players and stepping up to help out once in a while. He's great at all of the above, so he has nothing to worry about.

Gabrielle got her last Christmas present today. I had ordered her the cookbook she wanted at the last minute after finding it half off at Wal-Mart. She tore open the paper, and after a long process, she decided she'd make some Stuffed Noodles. It tasted like lasagna with extra cheese and was very good. I wasn't home to see her and Kim put it together, but she did a great job.

Noah found the Santa hat and put it on. Merry Christmas!

I found Kim reading the bible by flashlight tonight as the kids had fallen asleep next to her. That's all I need to say about that.

God is good.

Hello--Day 236

2009-01-04T23:21:00.005-05:00

Sundays always start out positive.

Kim and I had a short conversation while on Oakwood Road. I told her that people, including myself, tend to remember the bad things that happen to them or the bad things that effected them emotionally. The better stuff does not usually have the same sort of impact.

The positive energy at church is almost intoxicating. There are weak, there are weary, there are those with cancer, those with children in harms way, and those without jobs. Most everyone is able to put on a smile, and why not? We're there to celebrate our Lord. During the first song, I noticed the drummer and remembered what Colton had been saying since he got the drums for Rock Band a week ago: "I want to be a drummer when I grow up." I whispered to him that if he really wants to know how to play, he should talk to the drummer on our praise and worship team. I don't know his name, but I'll introduce Colton to him if I get the chance. After I told him that, he seemed transfixed on the drummer the rest of the time. Each time Colton enjoyed something the drummer just did, he'd look up to me and smile. Ya gotta admit, it does look like he's having a great time praising our Lord over there.

As always, I looked around during the praise and worship time. There were two girls somewhere between 9-11 singing there hearts out. I cannot help but think of the things Diane told me a few months ago. She believes lovers of the Lord should act like Jesus is visible up on stage. If he was, would we stand there, straight as a board, with our hands clasped in front of us? She doubts it, and she makes a good point. Are we singing about Him, or TO Him? The two girls looked like they were singin to Him. It brought a big smile to my face, but my hands remained clasped.

During his sermon, Pastor Don brought up the several new programs that are being started at the church. One of his biggest points is that while the programs are great, they are not what will attract others to God. It is people like Pastor Bob, Dennis and Jennifer, the Maddocks and the McDaniels. So true.

He also brought up how people tend to remember the bad things that happen to them or the bad things that effected them emotionally. The better stuff does not usually have the same sort of impact. I would later ask Kim on the way home if Pastor Don would talk about anything we talked about in the car on the way to church. She said she didn't know, but based on how many times it's happened, it seems likely. It's almost kind of spooky.

After the sermon and communion, Pastor Don came down to say hi to us. To our surprise, he guessed Kim's name was Pam. LOL. I thought he knew.

I said hi to Dave (McCone?) on my way to get Noah. He seems like a guy I'd like to get to know. I talked to Wendy a bit as I picked Noah up. She had a couple cute stories to tell.

I got to see all the members of our table during Jim's class. Besides Wendy, I saw Lisa, said Hi to Sharon as she walked out of the auditorium and said Hi to Jenni after we picked up Noah.

I talked to Jerry about the groups. I'd like to get into the Discovery Group, but I'd like to have Kim's input a bit. I told Fran (with the great new haircut) about my plans and she said "Yeah. That's you." I found that comment interesting.

The last three gifts I've gotten from Kim and the kids have been religious books. I don't want to get away from the Bible, but I want to take advantage of these books as well. I want to take advantage of a couple of other resources available to me as well. I feel as I'm being led in that direction and I did a few things today and last night that will make it easier to do so.

Colton and I made some club sandwiches for lunch today. They were delicious.

I have to believe many people have asked God how he wants to use them. Some probably get firm, immediate answers and others not so much. When I asked a couple days ago, I got a quick answer. I can't really say it was God talking to me. It may have been the first thing that entered my head. On a slightly negative note, I found myself thinking, "But Lord, that's impossible." I caught myself, though. Whether it was just my meandering mind or not, nothing is impossible for Him to accomplish. Thank you Lord, for reminding me of this.

God, please bless everyone in our church. Please relieve them of any major crisis or difficulties in their life. Reside in their hearts and make them whole. I pray that Sharon is made well very soon, and I pray for all of the children at Oakwood. Please help keep their eyes on you for the rest of their precious lives. Bless my family and extended family. Thank you, Lord.

In your son's name I pray, God.

Amen

Dance Mix!--Day 235

2009-01-03T15:04:00.004-05:00

It's amazing how quickly Noah is learning. We were playing a Blues Clues game I've had probably since Colton was little. "Mailbox" and Blue write letters to other characters on some lined paper. The letters in the letter are all black except for one. One letter is grayed out. I didn't think he'd be able to recognize what he was supposed to do, but he had no problem pointing it out. At the bottom of the letter were five letters. We're supposed to figure out which of the five letters is supposed to be in the grayed out spot. I asked Noah which letter looks like "that one" and he pointed it out. We clicked it and put it with the others. We did this a few times before I called Kim over. She was just as proud of him as I. We did this a couple more times before he was bored. It's fun how he'll play things in little spurts then move on to something else. We were playing on my lap for a while and then he got down and stood and we used the arms of the chair as slides. Then he put Spongebob and Patrick inside of his big Voltswagon Beetle, then we drove that around. Then I chased him around the house with the car. Then he stops in our bedroom and sits down to play next to some toys. We play in there a bit, then he gets up to close the doors. He opens the bathroom door up again and goes in and closes the door. We play a game there a bit and he closes all the doors again and sits to play again. We play for quite a while and then it's on to something new.

****************************************************************************

Here's something I read today by Dr. Jack Graham.

His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.

--Psalm 112:2

What do your children need and want more than anything? YOU!

The cry of "generation next" is for their parents. God has placed your children in your hands, not just to provide for, but to shape and mold. And that takes your time, energy, and presence.

You and I have a responsibility too great to waste the moments, days, and years we have as parents. We must take every opportunity to teach, train, nourish, nurture, love, and prepare them for the world.

I remember reading an article in Newsweek about the next generation. One 17-year-old was quoted, "There's a lot of anger in my generation. You can hear it in the music. Kids are angry for a lot of reasons. But mostly because parents aren't around."

Your children need your attention, because the time really is fleeting. I can't believe how quickly the time has passed since my children were born. Now, they are grown. So, I want to urge you today to make every moment count.

Now, none of us are expected to be perfect parents. And that's good because none of us are, myself included!

But God does expect you and me to be priority parents. Parenting is a full-time responsibility and we are called to put our children and our families first in our lives.
When you do, Psalm 112:2 says this generation will be blessed.

SPEND SOME ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN THIS WEEK.

*************************************************************************

Noah danced to the new song on the playlist. I think he liked it.

Angels (Love is the Answer) by Morandi

Back to Blogging--Day 234

2009-01-02T22:38:00.004-05:00

Another fairly uneventful day except I finally finished some drafts on my blog. The last few blogs were all done today. I haven't really felt like blogging. I'd even thought I didn't "need" it anymore. I don't need a blog to keep me positive, but it helps to remind me of Him.

I'm also reminded of my friends from my last job. I miss my job and miss them. I miss my talks with Adam the most. I got an e-mail from him a couple of days ago that was encouraging and, in so many words, said he was just a phone call away. He reminded me to keep serving God and growing my faith. He also recommended I keep finding positive things and to write them down. Hmmm. He may be the reason I'm finally getting this done. Thanks, Adam.

I got a call today from a staffing service. I'll be going in Monday to fill out the full application.

I didn't mention the Christmas presents I got from Colton and Gabrielle. I got "90 days with Jesus" by Beth Moore from Gabrielle and "The Greatest Words Ever Spoken: Everything Jesus Said about You, Your Life, and Everything Else" by Steven K. Scott from Colton. They would have never gotten me those books in past years. It's a wonderful thing. Gabrielle saw me writing in the book she gave me (there are several places to do so) and asked me what book that was. She looked at the cover and smiled. She watched me write a few more seconds and went on her way with the smile still on her face. A couple days later, she asked me which book I used more. I told her that her book was meant to be read once a day and Colton's book was more of a reference book, so they wouldn't be the read the same amount all the time. And anyway, it's not exactly a contest. "I know.", she says. "So which do you read more?" I smiled and told her that I was reading hers more often. "O.K.", she said.

Life is still good. Thank you, Jesus.

New Years Eve--Day 233

2009-01-01T23:53:00.002-05:00

We spent New Years Eve at my sister-in-laws. She made an excellent dinner of roast and mashed potatoes and beans and corn. There were snacks and deserts all over the place. We had a Wii bowling contest and played some Rock Band and talked a bit and just generally had a good time. We celebrated the New Year with Dick Clark and Kim and I had a kiss that spanned two years and 5 seconds at the same time. We stayed up about another hour or so and were asleep by 1:30.

New Years Day was quiet and uneventful, not that there's anything wrong with that. I made some nachos and burritos and quesadillas for dinner.

New Years Eve Eve--Day 232

2008-12-30T23:49:00.002-05:00

Noah looks cute, but silly.

Gabrielle looks old and equally silly.

Dinner looks delicious, so I took a pic.

On This Day, Our Savior Was Born--Days 226 and 227

2008-12-26T11:45:00.010-05:00

I'm in a band. I hope you come out and see us sometime. The name of the band is the Unknown Legends and we've already been out to L.A., San Francisco, and a couple of charity events. And that was just yesterday. We try to stay humble, but with Colton on drums, me on guitar and Gabrielle on lead vocals, we're pretty awesome.

We had a great Christmas and Christmas eve. Dinner was at Dennis and Jennifer's house. God was praised, presents were opened and conversation was light.

More presents were opened the next morning. We said a prayer before doing so. Gabrielle started us in a rendition of "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, then the paper started flying. The kids called it the best Christmas ever. I hope a part of that is because there was more meaning behind the Christmas. Jesus may have been mentioned before, but he wasn't praised to the extent he has been lately in our prayers and conversation. Noah is able to open presents pretty well and it isn't very often he leaves his little blow up car he got. He likes to eat his cereal in it and he throws all 25 balls all over the living room. He helps keep our living room in a constant loop of destruction and repair, destruction and repair.

Soon after the presents were opened and everything was cleaned up, they wanted to play. Noah had his car and Kim did some puzzles with him. The rest of us started a band named Unknown Legends. I'm not sure how Colton came up with the name, but I like it. It seems to be sort of an oxymoron. Gabrielle grabbed her microphone, Colton grabbed the drums, and I grabbed the guitar and we rocked out to Eye of the Tiger and a few other 80's and 90's songs.

We went to my Mom and Dad's later. It was fun.

Along Comes Emily--Day 223

2008-12-21T00:37:00.010-05:00

There's a little game I play with Noah on a daily basis. Usually when I'm holding him or wrestling around with him, I'll say the single word "Kisses?" He'll usually say "No kisses!" and cover his mouth. I'll remove his hands and try to kiss him asking again, "Kisses?" He'll laugh and say "No kisses, Dad!". Sometimes it goes on for a while and occasionally he'll pucker his lips and give me a kiss.

Kisses brought me back to the blog. I'd taken a few notes in the last week and a half or so, but hadn't published anything. I still try to remain as positive as possible, but I hadn't felt inspired to take the time and write anything.

Along comes Emily.

Emily had stayed the night and was leaving Saturday morning along with Kim and rest of the kids. I was saying bye to the kids after they were already all buckled up. Gabrielle was in the back of the van and we had to stretch quite a bit to kiss. We had our smooch and we laughed. I go around to the other side and give Colton a kiss too. I tell them all bye and begin to close the door.

Along comes Emily.

She had unbuckled herself and was standing in the doorway all of a sudden. "Bye, Uncle Mark.", she said and puckered up. I gave her a little kiss and a little hug and told her "Bye, Emily." She is usually funny and playful, but that little peck reminded me how sweet she is. I love my kids, but sometimes I forget how much I love my nieces and nephews. They're all really great kids with great parents.

I go over to the other side of the van where Noah is buckled in and tell him "Bye, Noah." I lean in to give him a kiss and he says "Kisses." I smile, give him a kiss and lean back to close the door. Before I can get that far, he says "Hugs." I put my arms around him the best I can and he places his little hands on my shoulders.

:)

I give Kim a kiss as well and they were on their way.

Pictures from the past week or so:

Putting the Angel on the tree.

Decorating

Noah with his hat on backwards.

Noah looked at this playdough and said "Monkey!" Hmmm...

Innocence

Rolling out the cookie dough

Getting Dirty

Gabrielle

Tree Decoration as Awanas

House Decorating

For a more natural smile, I asked him to think of a funny joke. :)

We told Noah to eat the house, so he did.

Thank you, Lord, for unexpected kisses and hugs, wonderful nieces and nephews, great kids (mine and others) and a wife that comes up with ideas like making cookie houses and knows how to bake them.

You are a great God. YOU are my inspiration.

Snowday--Day 212/Day 10

2008-12-10T22:21:00.003-05:00

Today was a good day. The kids stayed home from school and we spent much of the afternoon in the snow. It started off as a snowball fight with the neighbors, and then something made me want to check the hill behind our house. I'd never thought of it before. I wanted to see if there was a clearing big enough to go sledding. It didn't take long to find one. I called the kids over and asked if they wanted to try it. They said they would, so I got busy cutting several tiny trees that were growing on the hill and clearing out all the thorny bushes. The biggest tree was only a few inches around but even hitting any stump could cause catastrophe so I cut them all as close to the ground as possible and pulling them up if I could. Tim got to try it first since he had his sled with him. He went down fine and loved it, but I had to ask he not go down face first. The space we cleared was pretty big, but at both sides were trees that aren't coming out with anything less than an axe, and we didn't need any facial injuries. Later on, when Tim finally hit the tree after running up to his sled and jumping on it, he tumbled down the rest of the hill with no injuries.

They went over a friends house to slide down his driveway (??). When the nachos were done I called them all in and we pretty much cleared out the dish between Emily, Allison, Colton, Gabrielle and I. We were famished. When we'd had our fill, it was time to head off to Awanas. Garrett got dropped off and we were on our way. We picked Jiselle on the way and began our usually boisterous trip to the church. Many times we'll go over funny lines from several movies. A recent favorite is Elf ("There's no singing in the North Pole." "Yes there is. We do it all the time." "No there isn't" "Yes there is." etc.) I brought up one of my favorite characters from Pixar's movies, Dory (voiced very well by Ellen Degeneres). Garrett did a great impression of her as she talked to the whale from inside it's mouth ("That was a tough one. I couldn't tell if he said "I'm going to get you out" or "I want a rootbeer float""). Everyone else chimed in with "No eating here tonight, No eating here tonight. You on a diet!"

We got there and headed to the sanctuary. Emily sang the Star Spangled Banner, and I attempted to tape it. The kids who had brought toys for the Oxford Fish took them to the front and had their pictures taken. A representative talked for a bit and we all stood and applauded her work.

We were a little short on people, but it was hardly noticeable. We got through the verses and headed to counsel time. Angela continued her story of Samuel, Saul and David and then played a game asking questions of the story. We played Zonk where you got to pick cards out of a bag until you picked out a zonk card or you wanted to stop. In an unusual turn of events, Team A didn't get any zonks and team B got one ever time leaving me with 21,000 points for team A and three zeroes on the B side. I made a snowman with team B's three zeroes on the board and you would've thought team A thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. That's what a great about kids. They don't hold back. When they laugh, it just funny to see them laugh.

Then it was game time. One of the girls didn't want to play so you sat on a counter. She probably asked someone to have one of the several candy canes on the counter and her and another girl had one. Once that first game was over, she asked that all the kids that had sat out the first game to come and play the second game. It was then Mary realized the girls were eating candy canes. There were several there, but only two that were big enough for her game. We ended up playing with the little canes. So we had kindergartners, 1st graders and second graders trying to pass tiny candy canes to each other using only pencils without using their hands. It ended up being slightly easier than we had thought and the game went well.

When we got back to our room, the leaders were not quite done with the room, so the kids sat outside. I asked if they wanted to sing a song and we decided on the edited version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I thought that was pretty cool. When they were done, we entered the room and gave out awards. Gabrielle finished her first book and was awarded another jewel and another book. I'm very proud of her.

On the way home, Colton asked if we could stop by the market on the corner down the road. All seven of us went into the store and I was the last one in. The kids had stopped at the door and we knocking on it since they couldn't get it open. I looked at my watch and didn't think they could be closed before 9. After 30 seconds of wondering what was going on, Emily pushed the other side of the door and it opened. It was pretty funny. We got a drink or other type of sugar and left.

Noah was still up when I got home after dropping Garrett off. The kids were ready for bed, so we said prayers and the day ended.

Grim Fairy Tale--Day 211/Day 9

2008-12-09T11:53:00.005-05:00

We had HBO a couple years ago. It was always the same old movies played repeatedly, and I've had no problem living without it. The one show I do miss is Def Poetry. Fortunately, for now, people are posting much of the poetry. This is a recent one I liked.

Watching this made me think of my little princess. As soon as she got home, she wanted to go outside. I went with her and helped her build a fort. We had a snowball fight with Tim, Matt, and Sarah. Colton came out later. We came in and had dinner after which Colton and I went and played a few games of pool. He has a very good shot. We should play more often. We came upstairs and watched Americas's Funniest Videos for a while. Colton finds the show pretty hilarious. I find it funny occasionally, but it's great to hear him laugh. Noah will laugh too just cause we're laughing. Good times...

Still Positive--Day 210/Day 8

2008-12-08T23:32:00.002-05:00

I prayed a few times today. I had a good, albeit short, conversation with my mother-in-law. Kim made the playoffs in her ESPN league with the other teachers. I submitted my resume to more jobs. I need a hobby. Any suggestions? :)

Smiles--Day 209/Day 7

2008-12-07T23:09:00.003-05:00

I knew at least one thing I'd be blogging about today. As Carson (one of the 2nd graders at Awanas) sat up on the stairs waiting for everyone to get situated and ready for prayer, he looked at me and then gave me a kind of mischievous smile. Not the kind where he's about to do something mischievous, but just the sort of smile you might give another that jokes around with you a lot. I smiled back, then we prayed. I saw many more different kind of smiles throughout the day. I noticed Angela close her eyes as she listened to Scott up on stage. She held her microphone close as she usually does as he speaks, then she opened her eyes. She looked immediately at Scott and smiled. Scott has that effect on people as he speaks or prays before every song. If I think about it, I can think of so many other people smiling. Pastor Bob did when I saw him this morning. Sloan sat by herself as she was apparently waiting for the children's prayer. She looked up at me, waved, gave me a very genuine smile, and went about studying her gloves again. Many people smiled as I shook their hand before the sermon, and I smiled when Diane crossed the aisle to shake our hands. I smiled later on as I heard Diane speak a few times during the sermon. She would say an occasional "Amen" or other words of agreement. Colton smiled as he remembered last weeks singer. He could remember the song as well, but he particularly enjoyed when he sang separate from the rest of us as we sang the song.

I remember smiling as I watched TV later in the afternoon. There was a preacher from Detroit preaching to his congregation. When he got all excited, he would breath in hard and make an unusual noise into the microphone. It would've bothered me if I hadn't been enjoying what he was saying and enjoying the fervor he was causing for others. I believe he was talking about Ezekiel and how God's spirit pick him up and left him in a "valley of bones". He talked of how God will place us in situations that will humble us and to see what we do while we are in that place. The pastor believes that sometimes "only a shout will get you out" meaning one must still praise God no matter the situation. We need be overjoyed in our hearts because if God has placed us in a situation, then He is using us for a greater good. By the end of his sermon almost everyone was on their feet, some of them were jumping or rocking back and forth, many had their hands in the air and almost all were smiling. I thought of Diane and smiled. Although she is not loud, she is the loudest at our church, but her exclamations are nothing compared to this church I watched. As I've said before, it's great to see how other people praise our Lord. Some are quite loud, while others are quiet. That is one part I didn't really agree with the preacher about. He was sort of mocking the quiet ones. He acted as if then needed to continue to have an appearance of an intellectual or they needed to stay dignified or they didn't want to look foolish on camera. He said that some that seemed to act ridiculous during the sermon may be getting "ridiculously blessed". He told his congregation to "make some noise". People worship in all sorts of ways, and it was unnecessary of him to make note of the quieter ones. I think, though, that what he was trying to say was don't hold back. Don't hold back your praise and don't hold back your joy. He's right. We shouldn't.

The whole family smiled today as we wrestled around and even got Kim in on the act. We are fortunate Noah seems to very rarely hurt himself, but the flipside of that is that he seems to have no fear when we wrestle. He will fling his whole body and any and every part of your body. He's fun to play with, but you just have to keep a very close eye on him. I smiled as we prayed tonight. We are praying we learn lessons from this current situation, but we are very happy to have what we do. We are especially lucky to have a wonderful God be with us eternally. We are incredibly lucky to have found a wonderful church and we are blessed that He has given us each other. Thank you, Lord.

Blessed--Day 208/Day 6

2008-12-06T13:09:00.003-05:00

"God's greatest blessings often come costumed as disasters." I read that today. If I was to apply that to my life, I'd have to tone it down a bit. God has and continues to bless my life repeatedly. Losing my job is nowhere near a "disaster". For now, I've been knocked out of my comfort zone. That's a good thing. I think of Todd Agnew's line in "My Jesus":

"He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable, so which one do you want to be?"

I think many of us may not want to answer that question in that it may incriminate us. As is the case with many Americans, we lived beyond our means (especially me), so we could have lived and acted much less "comfortable". Even though I may like to think God revealed himself to me just this year, that wouldn't be an excuse for not looking to Him in all matters previously or even the past few months. Is my family's current state a blessing? I believe so. I believe that something good will come out of this and it will be clearly evident to us all. It may happen later than sooner, but I'll be patient and enjoy the extra time with my family. Depending on how my new job works out, I may start to see them less. I pray that is not the case.

Kids and more kids--Day 207/Day 5

2008-12-05T23:15:00.006-05:00

I got to work with Gabrielle's class today. Mrs. Lomerson greeted me and showed me where to put my coat. It was Gabrielle's turn to read so she got up in the rocking chair and began to read the story of Scaredy the Squirrel. As she showed the class the pictures she gave the microphone she was using to a different classmate. If she got stuck on a word, she'd ask one of the other students. The kids laughed at certain parts, especially the squirrel's schedule (12 noon, Look at the view, 12:30: eat a nut). We clapped when she was done, and it was my turn to work in front of the class. Gabrielle had brought in my Rubik's Cube the day before as a secret object and I showed the kids how to solve it. They were more excited than I had expected and commented the whole time. Mrs. Lomerson asked if any of the children had a Cube at home and asked if they might want to try and solve it now. Several kids raised their hands.

After the cube presentation, she asked me to play a game with the kids in the cafeteria. I had read the rules before we got down there, so I showed the kids how to play. It used a "magic decoder" and most of the kids really liked that. I sped the game up a little bit and managed to get three groups of four almost all the way through the game before we were asked to come back to class for a snack. It was Sydney's birthday and she had brought in cookies. She passed them all out and I got one as well. As they were eating, I remembered a thought I had earlier when the kids had raised their hands . I asked if anyone who didn't have a cube wanted mine. Several hands went up. I asked them to pick a number from 1 to a 100 and there was a three way tie. My number was 47 and two girls wrote 49 and Matt, our next door neighbor, wrote 45. I asked those three to guess a number between 1 and 10 and there was a two way tie. My number was 6 and Matt and Sylvia guessed 4 and 8. They guessed again and Sylvia was the winner of the cube. Gabrielle and I went to find Colton and once I did, we went home.

Later on, Colton had a friend over that hadn't been over for years and Gabrielle had a friend over as well. Chase really likes Legos, so he and Colton played with those for quite a while. The girls played house and we played with the play dough. We made root beer floats later on that night and the kids went to bed pretty late. Good times...

Pudding--Day 206/Day 4/Day 3/Chapter 24

2008-12-04T15:15:00.004-05:00

Noah will drag me all over the house letting me know what he wants to do. I was looking for a little something different this afternoon. So, as usual, I googled my inquiry. I saw many posts agreeing that kids that age love messy projects. One woman used pudding and her son especially liked that the paint was edible. I liked the idea and I tried it. The result was pretty funny at first. With a bunch of paper all over the floor under us, I tried to show Noah what to do. He placed one finger daintily on the pudding and copied me as I wiped it on the paper. I showed him he could put his whole hand in it. He wouldn't do it himself, so I placed his hand in the pudding. He pulled it out and wiped it on the paper. With a smile, he sticks his four fingers in his mouth. He enjoys the taste, but then notices how messy his hand is now. "Messy, Dad." and holds his hand out to me so I could clean him up. :) I eventually convinced him that was not necessary and we made a mess of quite a few pieces of paper.

Sometimes I think I should have a separate blog and name it "Coincidence of the Day". I always notice something coincidental I find interesting. I e-mailed Adam this afternoon to see how things were going. I sent the e-mail and went back to my e-mail page. He had just sent me an e-mail. After not talking to him for two weeks, we e-mail each other within 2 or 3 minutes of each other. Amazing we thought of each other at the same time. After being layed off for two weeks and not hearing from anyone, I heard from two guys from work. Besides Adam, my friend Tom e-mailed me and both of them named their e-mail "What's up?" Hmmm, interesting.

Awana Night-Day 205/Day 3/Day 2/Chapter 23

2008-12-03T22:20:00.002-05:00

We had fun. I helped the kids with their verses (Anna was pretty silly and Carson did quite a few)and then we went to counsel time and Angela told a bible story in her kid-friendly way. After the story she asked them to play a game answering questions and had a lot of fun with that. After counsel time, they played some dodge ball and had lots of fun with that.

The trip to and from Awana's was pretty rowdy. I'll just leave it at that. What a great bunch of kids. Gabrielle is always good and very sweet. She studies hard and plays hard. I don't see Colton very much, but when I do, he looks like he's having the time of his life. Jiselle still leans right up against me as we wait for our opening ceremony to start. She really is a sweetheart. Garrett likes to be a bit of an oddball (like a lot of boys that age) and almost always makes me laugh. He's a really nice, polite, kid. I hope we're friends with those families for a while.

I had one of the most important, wonderful things in my life happen to me this year: I received the Lord into my heart and began a personal relationship with him. I also had one of the worst things happen in my life this year: I lost my job. I've had a job for 20 years. It not a good feeling. I think it's pretty amazing these two things happened within 7 months of each other. I really believe God knew this was coming and did not want us to go through it without KNOWING he's with us through it all. Having Him in my life also helps me remember how many people have it as bad or much worse than I do. Without Him, I'd be filled with worry. Without Him, I'd probably forget about anyone else's situation but mine. Without Him, my relationship with Kim wouldn't be growing even through this crisis in our life. Without Him, there may not be a whole lot of joy in this house. With Him, one of the first verses I memorized still sticks with me:

Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord! I will say it again. Rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, bring your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind with Christ Jesus.

That last line is just awesome. The peace of God TRANSCENDS ALL UNDERSTANDING. We cannot even comprehend the peace he has for us. It is such a monumental amount of peace, myself and many others can feel peaceful even at times like this. He has it under control. He will use this peace to guard our hearts and our minds with Christ Jesus. Why do I deserve something so wonderful? I'm just lucky enough to be one of His children. As long as this family believe God has it under control, we will get through anything. Things could get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. I know it will. I might have doubt once in a while, but it doesn't stick around too long. My heart is guarded by peace and filled with joy.

Thank you, Jesus.

Pictures from a Snowy Day--Day 204/Day 2

2008-12-02T18:23:00.003-05:00

CHEESE!!

We're Done!

Happy

Make a Choice-Day 202, 203/Day 1

2008-12-01T00:00:00.007-05:00

I finally got to say thanks yesterday. I still can't be sure who I prayed for that night back in April, but if they were there, I hope they got the message. I thank God for bringing them into my life. I thank God for the honor of praying for them. I thank God that he used such a wonderful experience to reveal himself to me. I wanted to thank so many more people, but I got lost in the nervousness I had not anticipated. God already knows I've thanked Him many times, but the people at the church do not know my thoughts. I understand that they don't have a need to be appreciated, but they are appreciated and it definitely doesn't hurt to tell them that. I was brought into their life for a reason. They were brought into my life for a reason. That reason is good. We need to glorify Him, and praise Him, and thank Him and pray without ceasing. He is good.

The rest of the testimonies were great. After Jerry Maddock's video testimony, Pastor Bob started. He talked about his heart problems and then thanked God for the ability to see his first grandchild. To listen to him and not get choked up, one must not know him very well or it takes a lot to choke them up.

Next was a young man I sort of relate to. He seemed new to having a personal relationship with God. He praised God, the church and the youth ministry.

Lowell was soon after me. He especially thanked God and his wife. It was very heartfelt and wonderful.

Fran came soon after him with tears still in her eyes. She is very grateful to God that all her kids and all her kid's spouses are Christians and great people. I hope I can say the same when I get older.

I wish I could remember the names of the others, but I will never forget the faces. Two women thanked God for the strength of their relationship to their husbands. Another told the story of her trip to China and what the church she attended was like. It had over 2000 people in it from all sorts of countries. Many said prayers in their native tongues. That must've been truly beautiful.

Another man gave a particular funny testimony. He said at first that "God was so lucky to have me as a follower." He realized through things in his life and I'm sure through prayer, that he better understood that that was not the case.

Dennis gave his own testimony. He mentioned Jennifer and how strong she is. He mentioned how they were the family we had prayed for and donated money to earlier this year. I already knew, but for him to tell the whole congregation seemed like a pretty big thing. I get all emotional just thinking about it.

Sharon gave one of the last testimonies. She talked about her cancer and how it had taken her sister and her husband. I was in a group with her for 12 weeks and I never found that out. I'm not going to dwell on my lack of ability to get know others like I'd like to, but I'll just pray I get better at that. I would at least liked to get as close as an acquaintance might get, so I can better experience her joy when she is told she is cancer-free.

Before the testimonies started, Diane came and shook our hands as we shook the hands and introduced ourselves to those around us. She told me she got the best grade in her class. She said she got all the points possible. It took me a second to remember Day 189 when we worked on her homework and talked for a couple hours. I congratulated her as she was walking away. She seemed very happy. Kim later told me she said" "we" got the best grade in the class." Either way, I'm very happy for her. She gave a wonderful testimony which include a discussion of Pastor Don that was very kind and put him in high regard.

Regarding this, I'm not the best at PowerPoint. I barely use it. As she walked around that Sunday looking for help, I could've easily thought "I'd like to help, but I don't know much about PowerPoint. I hope she finds someone." God laid it on my heart to find her at the end of the sermon, wait for her as she talked to Pastor Don, talk to her and ending up inviting her over. He used us in each others lives for a reason, and it wasn't necessarily to "get the best grade in the class", although that was obviously in his plans.

MONDAY

Kim had today off from work and so did I (I can't believe I can joke about that), so I spent some time updating my resume and e-mailing it to prospective employers. I called Tanya at Michigan Works and she helped my greatly. We spent much of the day playing with Noah or catching up on shows Kim had recorded but not watched. I got a package sent out and hopefully it is the first of many. We prayed before the kids went to bed later and we held hands. I was told I have "heavy" hands. Noah went down easily and we said good night to them all.

I watched a few videos on Godtube.com and asked Kim a few questions. I asked her about God speaking to us. We each have our own opinions on the matter. That's not to say they're conflicting, just slightly different. Later on, I was sure God spoke to me. Clear as day. The subject matter leads me to question the veracity of what I believe, but I have come to an understanding. Contrary to what Kim and I may have believe, sometimes God does talk to us that way. Sometimes it will be clear as day. It may even be like that most of the time, but sometimes we're not listening or choose not to...

Make a choice, people. And by people, yes, I mean me. It's a tough thing to do, but we can get better at it every day we have left.

I love you, God. Thank you for loving me.

Blah--Day 200/Day 1/Day 1

2008-11-28T23:50:00.004-05:00

The "Blahs" have been running rampant throughout the house the last couple weeks. First Colton, then Noah, then Kim and I. We're not feeling too hot. The food was good yesterday. I said grace before dinner. That was sort of an honor. I've said it several times before dinner at home, but not in front of all the families.

Kim got up really early to go shopping. She came home tired and even sicker than she felt last night, so she took a nap. Fortunately for us, Noah's motor almost never quits running. He kept us playing throughout the day. We played train and blocks and a little bit of myball. The way he giggles when we play myball is hilarious. Gabrielle and I played with the blocks too, but her playing was more structured. She was trying to figure out how to make each level one color. We did what we could and she ended up creating a cool little house...

We also roughhoused a bit as well. That's always fun. Later, Noah wanted to take the house apart and put it back together. He'd take a piece off and place it back on somewhere else. We took it from the table and by then it was about 3/4 of a house. I began to place it on the floor and it slipped. Large Lego pieces were all over the place. Noah's attention had already been diverted as I dropped it so I scared him a bit.

"Don't Dad."

"Sorry, Noah."

Later that night, after a few more Lego playtimes and while the rest of us were watching The Polar Express, he awakes us from our blahness and fixation on the movie by picking up the house we had repaired and throwing it straight down. Large Lego pieces were once again all over the place. This time there was a large smile on his face. I think toddlers love destruction more than they love building sometimes.

God is Good.

The Lovely Lanzas--Day 198/Day 3/Day 3

2008-11-26T23:56:00.003-05:00

Noah got the 24 hour flu last night. Colton had it a few days before. There reaction to it was different. You could tell Colton was sick. He just wanted to rest all day and looked miserable. We gave him some water and tums and he was fine the next day. I brought Noah down after Kim got home. I felt an odd rumbling in his belly, but I thought he was hungry. I gave him to Kim and then...I'll avoid the particulars. He got sick again after his Aunt Mary called. He acted perfectly fine in between. Laughing and playing like nothing had happened. He looked a little more fearful the second time, but he was soon the same old Noah. We knew that his belly still hurt because he told his there was a bug there. He would lift up his shirt and point at his belly. "A bug" to him means a little pain or something is poking him. We sat him down, gave him some more water and kept a very close eye on him. He would burp occasionally. After doing that a few times, he covered his mouth with both his hands and said "No, mouth. No." I felt so bad for him then. The little guy was worried. He said that a few more times. I gave him a small amount of some childrens' tums, but I still thought he would get sick again. He still hadn't when it was time for bed, so I laid him down with Kim. He fell asleep without a problem and was perfectly fine today.

The Lanza girls were over today again. They played dress-up, tag, had snowball fights, slid down our steps outside, played with Legos, played the wii and generally had a good time all day. I made megas, bacon and a english muffin or bagel for dinner. I went through a whole dozen eggs. Hardly any of them went to waste. The kids, even Noah, ate well. Later on, Kim made cookies. The kids loved them and they each wanted two. Noah just had one, and has not yet learned the pleasure of finger-licking good food. The cookies were still warm and he had melted chocolate chips on his fingers. He showed them to me and told me "messy". I cleaned him up and took his plate. After several hours of playtime, it was time for the Lanzas to go home.

Later on, we tried watching Napoleon Dynamite, but the dvd player wouldn't play the movie very well, so we got out Cranium. I asked the kids to be on be on a team together and they played well for the most part. The only violence involved Kim and I. She had to act out a clue. The timer goes for a minute and on this turn, Kim had to act out a clue. I knew it within 8 or 9 seconds. Keeping an eye on the timer, I watched as she acted like the bar came down and she started going up a hill. She acted like she was going down the hill and her arms shot up. She put her arms down like she was holding a bar and then she goes around in a sort of a circle. She starts to go up the hill again and then comes down again with her arms up. Colton says "Dad, how can you not know what that is??!!" I said "I know what it is. It's a roller coaster." That's when she hit me. She punched me in the arm and slapped me on the chest. I would've pressed charges, but it didn't actually hurt. We all had a good laugh though. We bent the rules for the kids a bit and they ended up winning by a mile. It didn't help I rolled four consecutive "ones" when it was our turn. We prayed and they went to bed. I stayed up to blog about my day. Praise God for everything. Thank you, Jesus.

Positive Answers (Gabrielle's Title)--Day 197/Day 2/Day 2/Day 23

2008-11-25T15:45:00.005-05:00

Well, here's something that put a ironic smile to my face.

In the last few days, I had been jumping on my blog and commenting on the things that had been positive about my day as I had mentioned before. I didn't actually blog. I just started one, saved it and planned on coming back to it. I decided to finish that up last night and post them all. I started to do so, but stopped. I wanted to do a little rambling. I decided I'd close my eyes (hence all the typos) and blog whatever came to mind. CfC hasn't been by in over a week, no one in Lapeer reads my blog anymore nor does anyone from Oxford, so with the thought no one would read this but me, I began to babble. It wasn't exactly a positive babble either. Decidedly negative, in fact. But, hey, no one's reading, so I'll complain for a day and get back to positivity tomorrow.

Or so I thought.

I was reading a book Jennifer gave me a few days ago with some "Contemporary Christian" music playing on the T.V. Colton recognizes Jeremy Camp and tells me how much he likes his singing. He asks me what song is it that he sings that he would know. "I have a few on my blog. You might recognize all of them." I get up to go my blog and play a couple for him. He said he was thinking of "Can't Get Away." I told him that was by "Rush of Fools." While on here, I checked the counter for the heck of it.

Oh no.

Not ONLY had CfC shown up again, but so had Lapeer AND Oxford. That was not for your eyes, guys :). I'm sure you thought nothing of my late night ramblings, but it's odd that on a day where I blogged thinking I would depart from the norm for a day, people show up. I wondered why. I smiled. I better not do that again. I'll keep the complaining to myself. I'm not falling off the wagon again. Positivity from here on out...

If you've read this blog before, you know I like coincidences. Most of the time they're very small. Nonetheless, they're coincidences. Here's another. It's great how God works. A guy calls tech support who is on the other side of the world. "Tech Support" helps out and remotely checks out the guy's computer. She sees his blog (God Hungry) which is his home page and asks if he's a pastor or minister. He says "Yes". She finishes up her help and before hanging up, she asks for a favor. "Sure", he says. "Pray for me.", she says. The poor woman feels overwhelmed by her problems. She begins to cry. He promises to pray, does so, and leaves a note for others to pray for her as well. 28 people, including me, have prayed for her so far. I'm sure that "overwhelmed by problems" feeling is felt by many people. It'd be nice if we had someone to give those problems to, so we wouldn't feel so burdened. We do. Our God does that for us. All we have to do is ask. It's awesome that God used a man on the other side of the world to help this woman.

I asked the kids what was the most positive things in their day today. Gabrielle enjoyed going out and playing in the snow with the neighbors. Colton enjoyed having Garrett over today. Speaking of Garrett, when his Mom picked him up, she said he loved Awanas. He's asking for a Bible for Christmas. God is using Awanas to help all the kids. I get to transport Colton, Gabrielle, Emily, Allison, Garrett and Jiselle there. It is more than an honor.

The kids are looking over my shoulder right now. It's a bit unsettling, but o.k. I think they want me to type something else. Hmmm. Here's one:

I asked Kim what was the most positive thing about her day today. She said "The kids listened to my lessons today" Her days are usually pretty rough, so it was great (Colton's word) that she was able to come up with something so quickly.

Colton's still here. So's Gabrielle. She's chugging some Vernor's. Now they've knocked it on the keyboard. They're cleaning the monitor as I type.

Colton just chugged the rest of the Vernor's as Gabrielle continues to play with her fingernails.

Noah sleeps.

Life is good.

Praise God.

Rambling--Day 196/Day 1

2008-11-24T23:52:00.003-05:00

Wow. It's Monday already. Time flies. I've thought about what I want to say this Sunday when I get the opportunity to thank everyone. It will be a heartfelt thankyou, but there are many people who have helped change my life, and I would like to let them all know. I'm looking forward to it. I think my mood has changed slightly since losing my job. I can hardly stand to watch any news because the horrible Michigan economy is all over the place. I am not allowing God to work through me as I should. I could be a better father, husband and disciple in these lean days. So far this week, I feel like I've had one partial meal. Running the video doesn't always allow one to concentrate fully on Pastor Don's message. Since then, I've only sparingly opened my bible or had good discussions with God. I had an interesting conversation Saturday night. I was watching a Catholic priest speak on EWTN tv and was enjoying his talk. Eventually, it was getting very late, so I turned it off. I went to bed and prayed on my knees. For the first time though, I felt the urge to pray flat on the ground. I remember seeing a man do that during the prayer vigil. He was up near the podium while I waited my my time to start praying. He layed flat on his face and was praying loudly. This prayer felt like a prayer where I was praying to be given the strength to turn my life over to him fully. It was a very good prayer. The next morning...I was the same ol' me. Not much in the way of Christ-likeness. I've changed, but not nearly enough. I keep asking questions of everyone instead of searching for the answers myself. Sometimes I get the feeling I'm asking so I know how I "should" feel. I want to make sure I'm going in the right direction and not somehow straying. God is all around us, but I can imagine him being a million miles away buy very easy to see. I could start walking towards him, but if I'm off by one degree, by the time I've walked a million miles, I've walked well away from him and am on my way to oblivion. The Bible should be a life blood in my life and it is not. It should be the heart of my body pumping spiritual nutrients to my soul and mind. I don't let it. Instead, I continue to look at others lives and try to emulate certain Godly things I see or ask whatever random question is on my mind. I'd like to go to Jim' orientation to his class on the 11th, but I'm not sure I'll be able to attend future classes. It'd be nice to have that fellowship with others. I don't know now if that will happen at classes in our church. I'll pray on it and God will face me in the right direction. The kids were home today on their extended Thanksgiving vacation. They had friends over and we all had fun. I keep on asking them to change certain things about themselves that can be detrimental to themselves and others, but I may need to change first before I expect them to. It's late. And quiet. I feel empty. I need to get a fill-up. I need some time alone with God.

Meet me in Montauk--Day 192/Day 9/Day 18

2008-11-20T23:57:00.002-05:00

Today was the last day of the study of the bible class. We went over the last weeks homework then had some cake. Then Lisa, Wendy and I continued to go over our discussion on Joseph. Lisa gave me some paperwork that had the commentary for this chapter of Genesis. It brought up some good points and answered most of my questions.

I wanted to watch a movie tonight, but I couldn't think of a movie that I owned that was somewhat "happy" until I remembered eternal sunshine of a spotless mind. I like movies that mess with time in one way or another. Some of my favorite movies besides this one are Memento, Frequency and the back to the future movies. This movie zigzags between present happening and past memories. It is a surreal movie and does a great job of illustrating a fractured love story. Towards the end of the movie when the words "Meet me in Montauk" are whispered, you get a better understanding of how things happened the way they did.

The Chicken Dance--Day 191/Day 8/Day 17

2008-11-19T23:19:00.002-05:00

My first day off in 20 years today. I guess "my first jobless day off in 20 years" is better. Or worse. The time spent with Noah is great. Getting up with the kids to get them off to school is wonderful. Not having a job should be scary. It's not. Yet. I hope I'm able to keep putting this problem into God's hands. I have to continue to work to do what I can, but I keep getting the feeling everything's going to work out great for us. By us, I mean my family and my job situation. By "us" I could've meant Christians, in which I'm sure everything's going to work out great for us.

Awana was fun. I got dressed up like a turkey and did the chicken dance in front of the kids and others. Odd? Yes. Embarrassing? No. In between the parts where you dance like a chicken I went over to dance with the kids. I was just about gang tackled. It was a hoot (another bird reference).

We also had our pizza party because we were co-winners in the can competition last week. Would I have spent $50 in soup if I had not had a job last week? I'd like to say yes, but I'm not sure. All the kids got at least one piece of pizza and a breadstick. They enjoyed themselves. Drinks were forgotten and one child mentioned her lips were burning. We were able to get them some water and put out the fire before any damage was done.

Working in reverse even more, at the beginning of the Awana meeting we were reminded there was no Awanas next week. The kids reaction was partially feigned excitement. Mary asked for our reaction and we acted excited as well. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Do I feel I could use a week off from the kids? No. Not at all. One leader had mentioned to her older kids that she felt more comfortable with them than with the little ones. I'm sure it's reversed for me.

I'm gonna miss Brandi and Carson and Anna and Delanie and Ryan and Shane and Ben and Joe and Amy and Jiselle and Caleb and Trent and Sloan and E.J. and Breanna and Cameron and Tara this week.

Joy--Day 190/Day 7/Day 16/Day 21

2008-11-18T22:17:00.005-05:00

I got laid off today, but I believe I am still joyous in my heart. One thing that will stick with me is telling one of Noah's teachers what had happened while I got him in the car. She told me she was sorry. I told her I believed in God and believe he has a plan. She smiled a beautiful smile and said "So do I."

Kim was supportive as well, as were the kids.

Getting the words I didn't want to hear were sandwiched in between two stories of the fires in California. As I got out of my car at work this morning, I heard that Christopher Lloyd had his house destroyed. I've always liked that guy. He's got one of the goofiest faces this side of Jim Carrey. I think I've always liked him because of the Back to the Future movies. I've seen those tons of times since they came out in 1985.

After getting home, I watched the news for a bit. Many more people had had their homes burned down. One family in particular had an autistic child who was having a hard time understanding what had happened. The mother spoke of his love for Hot Wheels Cars. Every time friends or family came over, they had one for him. His mother said she searched for them once she came back to her house. They were gone. They were all gone. Everything had been destroyed.

Things like this and the fact that I had survived many other layoffs at our company leaves me unable to feel sorry for myself at all. How could I when I have a friend very close to my heart who had someone close to Him become a traitor? He was rejected, beaten, ridiculed, scarred, and finally had His hands and feet pierced by nails. That might sound bad, and it was, but He did it as a favor to me. He loves and has always loved and always will love me, my family, and every one of us throughout the world. I've met some great guys at work, but I don't have any other friends who would do that for me. Nor would they be able to promise escape from death and the promise of eternal life.

Thank you, Jesus, for dying for us. Thank you, God, for sending your one and only Son to do this for us. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for residing in my heart as you have.

Gamut--Day 189/Day 6/Day 15

2008-11-17T11:30:00.006-05:00

Interesting word...gamut. It doesn't quite flow off the tongue like "serendipity" (day 3). I went through a gamut of emotions today. I had to have a discussion I didn't want to have with someone, and just thinking about it made me sort of angry. I was able to pray and calm myself down. The person I talked to took what I had to say in the best way possible and the conversation went well.

A long time front-office employee where I work got laid off today. I was sad for her, and partly worried about my own job. She had been crying when I talked to her. She wasn't sure where to go to from there.

I had to have a tire fixed, so I called around Lapeer to see where I could get it done. I talk to a woman at Wal-mart who was very chipper. Her chipperness actually made me laugh at the end of the phone call. I got off the phone with a price and a smile.

I saw a video that had been made with the song My Jesus and clips from Passion of the Christ. Thinking back on when I watched that movie, I am slightly surprised I never put much thought into it. People like or dislike the movie for different reasons and part of the reason I saw it was to see what all the fuss was about. It is really rather quite violent, but none of us can really imagine what he went through. It was probably worse than what they make it out to be. I'm going to have watch it again.

Diane was over tonight. We had some interesting conversation while we worked on her homework. I did not like the direction she took the conversation occasionally and I don't think I could ever stand behind all her beliefs.

Many lines stick out to me in this song, but a few in particular are:

"My Jesus would never be accepted in my church. The blood and the dirt on his feet might stain the carpet..."

"I think he'd prefer Beale Street to the stained-glass crowd..."

"I want to be like Jesus..."

Fellowship on My Mind--Day 189/Day 6/Day 15

2008-11-16T22:00:00.004-05:00

We got up early so we had time drop Noah off at Dennis and Jennifer's. Gabrielle, Noah and I went to the door and Gabrielle knocked. She knocked again. "Do you think they're up yet?", I asked. "Yeah.", she said. "I can hear screaming." LOL. She was right. Trenton had apparently gotten up a little cranky. Jennifer had on her happy face anyway. She would say later that we must've been wondering what was going on. I think she may forget sometimes that I also have three kids with a younger one as well. I know what it's like. I thought nothing of it. I thanked her and we were off to Sunday school.

We got there early and I went to their classes with them. Gabrielle was the only one in her class when I left and Colton was there with one other girl. He was joking with her a little bit as I left. She had a shy smile on her face. I hope that attitude and that effect he has on others stays with him. I hope the same for Noah. Both Wendy and one of the other mothers there picking up her toddler said they loved his attitude. Wendy said if I had come to pick him up any later, she would've taken him home with her. :)

I had read the chapter of The Purpose Driven Life concerning church fellowship the night before. That chapter is going to have an effect on me for a while. It was something I had thought about a bit before I had read that chapter. Jim Kirkland had said we would stay in the groups we were in when we started the Bible study class. I figured we would go over our homework together every once in a while. I thought there might be calls and e-mails. Almost none of the above. The one or two times we went over the homework together at the table, we were not given much time to do so. I called no one and no one called me. I had e-mailed my homework out when it was not out of a workbook and had received e-mails back. I really enjoyed that part. The fellowship part is definitely lacking. I thought the same this morning at Sunday school. Diane asked a few questions, had a couple disagreements and we were ran out of time as Jim tried to finish up. There is no time in the class for fellowship. If we talk too much or ask too many questions, we don't get to the end of the lesson. Jim mentioned that Diane had not been in the first few classes discussing God's love for us. I thought that was irrelevant. If we believe that Jesus died for all of our sins, most of us can almost realize how big of love that must be. Seeing it in scripture really makes it hit home. That's a little disappointing he mentioned that. He seems a little perturbed by the questioning. Diane, to her credit, has already said she is a little "rough around the edges." Jim, to his credit, tries to answer her questions as well as he can. I'm new to all of this, but I don't know if that means if I should not question this. If we left open more time for fellowship would we use that time wisely? If I had called during the class, would I have received calls back?

Diane had mentioned she needed help with Power Point at the beginning of class by asking a few people around the room. After Pastor Don's sermon, I asked her if she still needed help. She said she did and is coming over Monday night so we can work on it. I hope it goes well, I can help, and we can talk about other things as well.

The sermon went over trusting God. Trusting Him during the good times, in adversity, for both big things and little things and trusting Him with all our being. Also, trusting God in all ways. Trusting Him with all our thinking, behavior and our wealth. Sometimes, especially in times of adversity, it is difficult to do so, but in our Christian walks, this is another characteristic we all need to work on every day. I like to think I'm getting better at since I'm not so anxious all time as I had been. I am trusting more in Him and less on me. God is Great.

Kim came home this afternoon. She gave us all "prizes." Gabrielle's was a pair of earrings, Colton's was a sketch pad, Noah's was a four-pack of books and she bought me a Bible cover. It's very nice. My bible is a little small for it, but I'm still considering getting another study Bible. That would probably fit better. Gabrielle put in her new butterfly earrings right away. They looked pretty. Colton used his sketch pad and we read Noah his books. He seems to know what a "circle" is but doesn't get the others yet. He knows the words red, green, orange, yellow and purple, but I don't think he knows what any of them really are yet. He knows his Sesame Street characters though. He knows who big bird is, what elmo, the count and cookie moster look like and probably says "oscar"(the grouch) most clearly.

Pizza Rolls and Ramen Noodles--Day 188/Day 5/Day 14

2008-11-15T23:34:00.002-05:00

I read Kings 18:1-19 last night. I went up to his bedroom and asked him if that was what he asked me to read. He said it was. It must have been told to him in an exciting way. I'm glad he enjoyed it.

We went grocery shopping in the middle of the afternoon and that messed with Noah's sleeping pattern. I didn't want to lay him down and wait till he got up to shop and I didn't want to put him down by the time we got home. He was pretty cranky by the end of the shopping trip and actually fell asleep. He was sitting in the cart with his head down so I took off his hat and placed it under his head for more padding. He allowed me to do so, probably lacking much energy and went back to sleep. I had clipped some coupons at my mother-in-law's house and Colton and Gabrielle were very helpful in taking a coupon and trying to find an item. I don't do the shopping much, so I was thinking all the food we got would be close to $200. Fortunately it was a little less than 2/3 of that.

The kids thought dinner was one of the best ever. LOL. We had pizza rolls and Ramen noodles. Colton wanted pizza rolls, and I wanted some Ramen noodles so I made both. They both said they wanted some noodles too, so I made enough for all of us. Noah didn't eat much of his noodles, but he was loving the pizza rolls.

Soon after this, I called Kim and put the speaker on, so everyone could say good night. Once Noah said his peace, I laid him down since I knew how tired he must be. The kids and I watched the newer version of "The Shaggy Dog" after he went to sleep. Colton was tired and went to bed soon after. Gabrielle asked if she had to go to bed yet, and since it was techincally not her bedtime yet, she stayed up for another half-hour or so. Once she was ready for bed, I realized I had not said a prayer with Colton, so I asked if Gabrielle would say one with me. We knelt by our bed and I went first. She said her prayer next and hopped into bed. I stayed up a while watching a buddy of mine play in a $10 tournament online. He ended up winning $1500. He's had quite a bit of luck and his skill is always improving as well. It was getting late, and we had to get up early in the morning, so I went to sleep. Very peaceful sleep. Thank you, Jesus.

I Feel So Alive--Day 187/Day 4/Day 13/Day 20

2008-11-14T22:19:00.006-05:00

The latest addition to the playlist is out of place. It probably won't stick around long. The janitor was in the lab on Thursday and starts singing sort of quietly but in a high voice. He's used to the odd looks he gets. I think he's in his 40's but could easily pass for my age. He's quite a personable guy always looking for a low-five or fist punch over every funny thing he says. I just smiled and shook my head. He asked me if I knew who that was. I told him I couldn't understand what he was saying. I don't think he mentioned who it was. He just mentioned he liked singing in a high pitched voice rather than trying to sing in his normal voice. I told him he might do a good Brian McNight. "Who?", he says. "Brian McNight. Ever heard of "One Last Cry?"" He asked me if I had the cd. I told him no, but I could pull it up for him. I did and he stood there listening to the whole song. He said he was going to have to write that one down and find it. I'm not used to listening to tear-jerkers with another man in my lab, so it made for an unusual experience. That was exactly the kind of song he was talking about and later on in the day he was standing well out side of the lab singing that song in as high of a voice as he could muster. I saw him and he just starts laughing.

Kim left this morning. She'll be gone til Sunday. We all miss her already. We went to see Madagascar this afternoon and as we were driving home Colton says "I miss Mom." I said "I do too. ...her smiling face, her beautiful hair..." "Dad," he says, "you're making it worse." We both laughed. There was a lot of laughing going on during the movie. Both Colton and Gabrielle had a friend and they all enjoyed it. Once Noah got home, we played with his new cars for a bit, watched some "Blues Clues" and played some Myball. He didn't mind me knocking it out of his hands today. He'd just giggle and run after me. Gabrielle is staying over a friends house and was pretty ecstatic to be able to do so.

I was reading The Purpose Driven Life today and read a section on people in the church helping others within the church grow spiritually. I immediately thought of Lisa. The best part of that discussion last night was that she didn't want to let it go till she felt it had been fully understood by both of us. I could have conversations like that for hours. That in turn reminds me of Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof. We watched part of the movie in the Bible Study class quite a few weeks ago where he envisions having lots of money and being able to have spiritual talks for hours upon hours. I believe seven hours was the exact number. I'd love to be able to do that. Right now, though, I'd run out of scripture to discuss very soon. Either way, I've had wonderful experiences since becoming a Christian and that is yet another one of them. Thanks again, Lisa.

And thank you, CfC (Curious from Clarkston) for stopping by occasionally. I must admit it brings a smile to my face. What I think was my friend Jen dropped off the counter few days ago. She read the blog fairly faithfully for a while as well as evidenced in comments on day 31. She quit coming, not so coincidentally, around the same time school started. When I first started the blog, I wanted everyone to read that first blog of mine. I wanted everyone to remain positive and look to God through it all. Now, I don't feel it's necessary for others to read my blog to get that. If they are already looking towards God, then I hope most of them will be positive anyway.

Before Colton hit the hay tonight, he says that if I'm staying up later, I should read I Kings 18:1-19. I'm glad that part of scripture had an effect on him. He's brought it up a couple times today. I'm definitely going to make sure I read it. Kids are great. I love you guys. I miss you Kim. Good night. I'll be thinking of you all in my prayers and dreams.

Love,
Me

Day 186/Day 3/Day 12/Day 20

2008-11-13T23:57:00.004-05:00

I'm kind of surprised this blog has not felt repetitive to me yet. I suppose that may be because of the spiritual and educational growth I see in my kids and Kim and I. Physical growth is evident to especially with Noah. On day 3, he was barely up to my knee. Now he's all the way up to my thigh. Kim and the kids are always finding new ways to make me laugh or sit back and think. On day three I wasn't participating in Sunday school, Bible study, AWANAs or helping with video once a month. That leaves me with quite a few things to talk about.

Tonight was the Bible study class. We reviewed the past few chapters of Genesis up to chapter 47, then we watched a harvesting video. It was about a Christian family who had lost a father and husband. They had a very large harvest and did not think they would be able to harvest it. Many people eventually came to help and all was well. God has planted many seeds in several people. Are we growing spiritually and teaching others, so that when God comes back, he will be able to several believing souls with him? How many dying seeds are out there because we have not gained enough knowledge to help them? How many times are we given the chance to show how a Christian should act and don't take advantage of it? That would allow others to see Christ in us and possible bring them to the Lord. I know I'm not ready yet, but I hope I get there.

I talked with Lisa and Jenni a bit about what, at first glance, seemed like a large fault in Joseph, a man who was with God throughout his life. He was being deceptive to his brothers in order to find out the truth about them. I wondered if I am to walk with God as Joseph did, can I do the same? Can I be deceptive to my kids to find out if they've done wrong? Lisa said she had never felt what Joseph did was dishonest. We talked to Jim and he believe that sometimes one needs to be discerning and wise rather than too open to ones who may be trying to continue to hurt us. It was a good discussion that we had almost throughout the whole class and after everyone had left. Lisa could tell my question hadn't been totally answered at a few points in the class, so she brought up again when she had the opportunities. She is on of the many caring, concerned people at Oakwood Community Church.

Day 185/Day 2/Day 11/Day 19

2008-11-12T22:38:00.004-05:00

Awana Wednesday! I hadn't thought about it until just now, but I love those kids. Every one of 'em. They're like any kids. They love to play and laugh. I talked to a former youth pastor and he said I should be as silly as possible, within reason. That's easy enough for me.

Day 183,184/Day 1/Day 9,10/Day 17,18

2008-11-11T00:00:00.004-05:00

I didn't make the 11:59 deadline, so this will have to be a Monday/Tuesday blog. We're working less hours at work, so time goes fast. I got home and Gabrielle was having some trouble with her homework. She was trying to learn the rules of adding "s", "ed", and "ing" at the end of words. We went over it for a while and she eventually caught on better than she had. While doing this, Colton was asking for help as well. I told him I'd help when I was done with Gabrielle. When we were done, I helped Colton find some "platforms the American Party (The Know-Nothings) stood for". Once we got that figured out, Noah needed me. I helped him out then sat with him for a while. I got up to get ready for the dinner Kim had been making (bacon cheeseburgers--not the heathiest, but delicious!). Once next to her, I realized I had not kissed her when I got home. I did so, then helped prepare the kids plates. We spent most of the night playing with the kids before they headed off to bed. Once the prayers were done and most everything had been picked up, I watched some football. Once football game was nearing an end, I headed to bed.

This was my day in a nutshell.

I like to think I've been blessed by a wonderful God. I spend lots of time thinking about Him throughout my day in my decisions and how I act, but I need to spend more time in His word. I pray that as I mature in my faith, I use my free will to do so.

Tuesday was not much more difficult.

After locating my blog this morning, I noticed a third person had voted in my poll. They believe that the bible is the Word of God and is the truth. I think I know the person who voted "No.", but I'm not sure. I'm putting in a special prayer for that person.

Kim had a late meeting and got home rather late tonight. I had made sloppy joes and mac and cheese. I already had some on the kid's plate with applesause and Kim made her own. This was only after kissing me on the lips and saying "I love you." That was nice. Colton prayed then we had dinner together.

I spent time with Colton on a puzzle type game and some time with Gabrielle helping her with her Awanas verses. Kim spent some time with Noah reading books. Before we knew it, it was time for their bed time. Then prayers, then blog, then book, then bed.

God bless everyone.

Popcorn--Day 182/Day 2/Day 8/Day 16

2008-11-09T22:03:00.002-05:00

There was more than the normal amount of audience participation in Sunday school this morning. A few interesting points, counterpoints, agreements, disagreements, moments of confusion, minutes of explanation, and perfectly placed words were brought up. This did not leave much time left for continuing the series on walking the walk we talk in Ephesians. Nevertheless, no time was really wasted, it was thought provoking as always, and I learned a little bit more about the Trinity.

Pastor Don pleaded with his congregation to pray for our leaders including President Obama, whether we voted for him or not. He believes that what we expect is what we'll get. If we expect him to be the savior of America, then he will be (unless he does horribly bad). If we expect him to not do well whatsoever, we will look for his mistakes almost exclusively and he will not be a good president. He's right.

We enjoyed the after-church fellowship with the Boomers in one of the side rooms because of a lack of space in the main area. I get someting close to the chills every time I'm in that room. I can see myself on my knees at the table against the wall praying for those that had requested prayer and feeling His presence greater than i had ever felt it before. I remember looking at the clock and seeing the time 11:20 exactly. Soon after, I left the room to pray in the sanctuary to pray for another hour, but that room will always feel special to me.

I also remember looking at my phone and seeing exactly 11:00 pm in glowing white numbers before I entered that room. This leads my mind to our bible study workbook's definition of the eternal nature of God. It says:

God has no beginning, and He has no end. He is not confined to the finiteness of time or to man's reckoning of time. He is, in fact, the cause of time.

That last sentence really struck one of the women at our last bible-study class. That whole definition, but especially that last part, is difficult to wrap our finite minds around.

Gabrielle gave me a postcard sized card she had gotten from Kim. It had a heart in the middle of the card with the words "I love my daddy" in the middle. She's so sweet.

I told Kim I hadn't really blogged in almost a week. As she was taking her microwave popcorn out of the microwave, she said I should blog about popcorn. Hmmm. O.k. I can go through almost a whole bucket of the movie popcorn before the trailers are even done. I like it with no butter, but I've had it with butter and it's not too bad. I like it when there are no burnt kernels whatsoever. I don't like burnt. Kim doesn't mind it. I don't like the little pieces that get stuck between my teeth, but it feels like such a relief when it's finally out. Pastor Bob talked about popcorn in one of his last children's sermons and I learned a little something. Popcorn pops because of the very small amount of water inside of the kernel. Once the kernel can no longer contain the steam within it, it explodes and we get popcorn. My heart and mind could no longer hold in all the cynacism and negativity on that fateful day back in April. Although I continue to hold onto those stuck-in-my-teeth irritating, leaving me with a hard shell on the outside concepts, they were replaced with a life-sustaining and delicious faith and optimism.

Thank you, Jesus.

My Ball--Day 181/Day 1/Day 7/Day 15

2008-11-08T23:30:00.002-05:00

Noah hasn't figured out the full concept of the game "my ball" yet. It's a game I've played with Colton since he was little. Gabrielle enjoys an occasional game as well. The basic rule is that you try to get the ball from the person who has it. The earliest games of my ball consisted of letting myself get tackled by Colton and then practically rolling around in the grass as he tried to get it. Once he did, I'd run after him and eventually get it back. Noah loves being chased as we try to get the ball from him. He'll giggle all around the house or outside. Once you knock it out of his hands though, you'd think we just stole his favorite toy. It's called "my ball" because as you chase the other or are getting chased, those words are repeated very often by the chaser and/or the chasee. Noah screams the words as he tries to get it back. Colton and I choose to just give it to him, and it turns into a game of chase Noah as he runs around the house with a ball two times bigger than his head. It's fun anyway.

Another new thing with Noah is coloring. He's been doing it with us for a while, but now he'll find a pen, pencil, marker or crayon and give it to whoever he's coloring with. Don't plan on having it for long. He'll take it from you and give you his. Then he might take it right back. Or give you another random one that's sitting on the table. After a few scribbles or some letters or numbers he'll ask "Whatcha doin?" and will watch you draw for a couple seconds. Then he wants whatever your drawing with and the process is repeated. We covered quite a few sheets of paper with tons of scribble.

Zach was over today. He's got quite a different laugh than Colton, but it's just as infectious. Alyssa was over to play with Gabrielle. I haven't heard her laugh much, but her and Gabrielle have a good time. Gabrielle always has a good time with her friends as does Colton. I met Alyssa's parents as I dropped Gabrielle off there later on. Not surprisingly, they're very nice people. I talked basketball with her dad for a minute or two. I didn't get her Mom's name, but she seemed especially nice as well.

I put up the window insulation today. It looks like I'll have enough to cover all the downstairs windows. Even with the windows shut and locked, I can easily tell that plenty of air seeps in through the window. As soon as the plastic is up and dewrinkled, it puffs out towards the inside of house. It seems to be working.

Thank you Lord for giving me a place to think about the wonderfulness of the life you have given us. Help keep us your path you've laid out for us and we pray our faith becomes stronger and more complete every day.

Day 178, 179/Day 1/Day 4,5

2008-11-06T23:30:00.003-05:00

It was quite an interesting class this week. Going over the homework was insightful. While we were talking, Jim asked Roger if he could think of a word or two to describe what got him through hard times. Eventually Roger came up with faith, but he had had a bad day, and plenty of things came out in his answer including emotions. I think I may have held my breath while he talked and finally exhaled when he finished. He is a great man and his faith has kept him close to our Lord through it all.

Later we watched "How Great is Our God?" It was a partially scientific way to realize how great our God is. It was at times funny, other times serious, and always spiritual. I'd like to buy it or at least let the kids watch it.

Then we prayed. One class member requested we pray over Roger because of his bad day and other problems he'd been having. Jinny, Jim and his brother laid their hands on him while another man prayed. It seemed almost surreal. I heard many sniffles and saw at least one large tear hit the ground. Jim said one last prayer, we all took a deep breath and headed off to the rest of our week.

The day before we went to Awana's. The trip on the way was fun. We all sang an assortment of songs and generally had a good time. When we're not singing, I enjoy talking with Allison. We never talk about anything groundbreaking, but it's good conversation.

Zelli is so sweet. She sits right up next to me at Awana's. Gabrielle was sitting on my lap and I put one of my arms around her and one around Zelli. She snuggles even closer. I moved my arm and she didn't move. Her head stayed on my side like she was going to take a nap.

The kids seemed especially good this week. Everything seemed to go smoothly.

Obama Wins--Day 177/Day 3/Day 3/Day 14

2008-11-04T23:32:00.004-05:00

"I let Jesus Christ into my life. I learned that my sins could be redeemed and if I placed my trust in Jesus, that he could set me on a path to eternal life."

I hope Obama meant this when he said it. I pray that God's will is done through our new president. Congratulations, President Obama.

I forgot to mention Jason's heroics on Monday. I'm sitting in the lunchroom reading The Purpose Driven Life, while the other guys are playing euchre like normal. All at the same time, all their chairs move backwards. I look up to see what's going on. Everyone had really awkward looks on their faces. Suddenly, Jason bolts up out of his chair and walks quickly behind Carl as Carl stands up. It looked like the beginning of a fight from the look on Jason's face. Instead, he wraps his arms around Carl and starts giving Carl the Heimlich maneuver. A large chunk of Carl's roast comes up along with some assorted extras. Carl walks around for a bit and while he's gone for a minute, it's mentioned by one of the guys that took the CPR and First Aid class with me a couple weeks ago that he should probably go to the hospital. Carl seems fine. He had actually cleaned up the floor and sat back down to play for a bit. Not long after though, he got up again. He said it feels like something is still in there. I get my stuff together and plan to take him (he advises we use his car) until he stops in the lobby and sits down. He says he needs someone now. He is able to talk, but feels like he can barely breath. Obviously worried and not sure what to do, he asks me to give him the Heimlich maneuver again. After a couple thrusts, he says he is able to breath a little better. By this time, the paramedics have been called and show up soon after. He ends up going to the hospital and waiting several hours before seeing a doctor. He ends up in the O.R., and a 20-30 minute procedure turned into hours. The doctor said that in his 20 years of work, he had never pulled up such a large chunk of food.

Carl got lucky. Once in a while I'll watch the guys play cards for a bit, but would I have realized what was going on and reacted as quickly as Jason did, especially with his back to me? As I said, Tom knew what to do, but I think he was either in shock or really didn't know what was going on. Jason hadn't taken a class since sixth grade and used that knowledge to save Carl's life.

I thought it interesting that I had been reading these words shortly before all this happened:

We are often challenged to do great things for God. Actually, God is more pleased when we do small things for Him out of loving obedience. They may be unnoticed by others, but God notices them and considers them acts of worship.
Great opportunities may come once in a lifetime, but small opportunities surround us every day. Even through such simple acts as telling the truth, being kind, and encouraging others, we bring a smile to God's face.

Jason is a believer, but doesn't attend church. I'm sure his faith is about where mine was back in February. I don't think he does much "for God". That's actually been an important theme in many things I've read and listened to recently. It's very important and I'm not sure how many of do things "for God" on a regular basis. This was a very kind thing Jason did, and he is very humble about it. He says his reactions merely took over. Do I still believe this brought a smile to God's face? Yes I do and I told him so. I hope we all do things that bring a smile to His face. I hope I don't ever have to go through something potentially life-changing and surreal, but if I do, I'll know God is with me and my courage and strength will come from Him.

God is Good.

Imitation--Day 175/Day 1/Day 1/Day 13

2008-11-02T23:12:00.004-05:00

Gabrielle, Colton and I made it to Sunday School in time. Jim continued our work in Ephesians. The first couple weeks had more to do with God's love for us and what He did for us. In the remaining weeks, we will be discussing what we must do to "Walk the Walk We Talk". He pointed out and I especially like Ephesians 5:1-2:

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a scrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

To be imitators of Christ as beloved children is a fabulous (thanks Amber for that word) analogy. I love to see Noah imitate us as we try to teach him new words. I love to see Gabrielle and Colton imitate our good qualities. Most of the time, it is fairly easy for them to do so. To be an imitator of Christ should be simple as well, but many of us stray from the path too easily. For instance, I've felt easily angered the past few days. I attribute this to time spent away from His Word. We delve deeply into it on Thursdays but we missed the class. I hadn't written down the verse I was supposed to for Sunday School. I still want to do that and I plan to very soon. I don't think I opened up my bible on Saturday except to place the tabs in it. Each time I feel this way, I should open up the Good Book and read a verse or two. Perhaps I'll keep that verse from Ephesians with me along with a couple other verses I enjoy reading and/or the quote Ravi Zachariah likes to use that I have written on a notebook. I need to get back to 0 degrees (Day 163) more often.

Sunday School ran longer than usual and we got out of the class at just after 10:30. Mary and Roger sat in front of us today. As I've mentioned before, I enjoy seeing how different people praise Him. I watched Roger for the first time. He was quite difficult to miss. The music was upbeat today and he was dancing the whole time. Imagine trying to get someone's attention from 200 yards away. You might lean back a little, cup your mouth, and yell as loud as you could. Roger did everything but cup his mouth. He was really into the music and it was wonderful to see. One of the questions we were asked in Sunday School was whether or not our faith was maturing. I know mine is, but not at the rate I'd like it to. I'm being as patient as possible with it. That is not to say I'm mature in my faith, and sitting behind those two makes it all the more evident. Not just in the way they sing, but I know each of them has a very strong personal relationship with God. Many people there do. I wonder how many people do not. I'll pray for all of us.

The sermon was on prayer. That is something I'd been thinking about the last couple days after reading chapter 11 in The Purpose Driven Life which discusses praying without ceasing. This is something I'm working on. I signed a sheet of paper promising to pray for our leaders nationally and in the church. I also agreed to fast at least one meal during the week and praying during that time. I sacrificed my dinner tonight and prayed for about 20 minutes.

I spent my day cleaning up, watching football and playing with the boys. The kids did some raking of the leaves in a big pile and jumping off the swings into them. Good times. During prayer time later, Colton thanked God for the Father/Son time we had. Some of this included shooting our first gun ever. A friend of mine, while not a hunter, is a gun enthusiast. Before we got to the area, he pulled out the AR-15 (close to an M-16, he says), tells us about it and shows us how to use it safely. We got in his van and the first thing I noticed was the Christian music coming out of his radio. I wasn't surprised, but it was the first time I'd been in another person's vehicle with that playing. It made for a nice drive to the range(?) which also included Andy's discussion about his guns. The gun is incredibly accurate. I was able to shot what I was aiming at from 100 yards away or so after shooting just a few times. I had never even held a loaded gun in my life let alone used one. We had a good time.

Noah and I read some books later on. We read through one a couple times, but barely made it through a couple others. On the last one, I asked him if he knew what "that" was as I pointed to the train. He says "choo-choo". That was the end of reading. "All done.", he says and closes the book. "Come on, Daddy. Choo-choo." He pulled on my finger till I got up and we went upstairs and played with the train and tracks for a while. Not too long after this, though, he was ready for bed.

We said prayers with the kids and this time he stood on the side of the bed with his hands firmly clasped. After Colton finished with his prayer, we all said "Amen." Noah was the last of us to do so, but he said it with conviction. This all goes back to imitation. He doesn't know what he's saying, but hopefully Kim and I will be able to continue a life that we want our children to imitate.

And now, some words from Watermark and from my heart as well:

Wonderful Savior
My heart belongs to Thee
I will remember always the blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior
My heart will know Your worth
So I will embrace You always as I walk this earth

Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here
Be glorified
I owe my life to You my Lord
Here I am....

Beautiful Jesus
How may I bless Your heart?
Knees to the earth I bow down to everything You are
Beautiful Jesus
You are my only worth
So let me embrace You always as I walk this earth

Thank you, Wonderful Savior.

Games of Catch in the Fall--Day 174/Day 0/Day 0/Day 12

We got home very late Saturday night and I hadn't posted earlier in the day, So officially, there was no post on Saturday. I don't remember opening up the Bible either, which is unfortunate, since it was Saturday and I had plenty of time to do so. Colton and I played catch for quite a while. After playing for a while, he said we'd finish by both making 10 catches. I caught my 10th and it was up to him. He decided he wanted to keep playing because as the ball made it to him, he swatted it out of the air. We made it to six or seven a few times after that. Sometimes no more than two or three in a row. Finally, he made his 10th catch and it was up to me. I decided we weren't done yet and swatted it out of the air. We were both a little tired by then, but made it up to 15 each after that.

We went to Jane and Mike's to play some poker at around 7:30. We decided to pay the top four and I made it to second place out of 14. Technically, I could've gotten first, but Bill had a huge chip lead and was kind enough to split it $60/$50 so we could get another game going. It was 10:00 by this time and I asked Gabrielle and Colton if they wanted to stay a while longer while we played again or if they wanted to go. They said they wanted to stay so we did. I feel that was a mistake. Sure, we don't get time out with friends much, but we could've gone home and watched a movie together or something with the time we spent playing cards and leaving the kids to fend for themselves. I ended up with third out of 14 and, fortunately, they had decided to pay out only three places this time. I was fairly lucky all night. By the time we were done it was 1:00. Colton was sleeping, Gabrielle was almost there and I had put Noah to bed soon after the second game started. We had to get them all up to step into the cold night to go home. That's when I shook my head and realized this may have been a bad idea to stay. Fortunately, we got to put the clocks back an hour and we got enough sleep to plan to get up for Sunday School the next morning.

Happy Halloween--Day 175/Day 1/Day 35/Day 11

2008-10-31T23:11:00.002-04:00

I missed yesterday. I had layed down and fell asleep pretty early. The audit went well Thursday. I think the early sleep was due to the relief that it was over and the lack of sleep I had the night before.

Today the company bought pizza because of our lack of machine scrap last month. It was good as usual. I went to my brother's house for trick or treating. When we got out there around 6:00, there was hardly anyone else out there. Noah slowed us way down, which, I guess, is a good thing. We weren't in any hurry and got done in a little less than an hour anyway. He didn't want to ride in the wagon most of the time, and wanted to walk. He'd walk at his own pace, pick up a leaf once in a while and show it to us. They were pretty awesome leaves.:) He'd saunter down each driveway and politely say "Trick or treat.", then "Thank you.", then "Bye." with a small wave. Then "Bye." to the dog they may have yipping at us through the screen door. Then "Bye." to the large inflatable pumpkin they might have in their front yard. Colton and Gabrielle were well ahead of us most of the time and each had a good time. I'll be posting pics shortly.

When we got back to the house, Ray and I talked about work, politics, and the worthlessness of Deal or No Deal. We eventually left with three small bags of candy and whatever we had brought with us. We got home at a decent hour and went to bed after reading our next chapter of The Purpose Driven Life.

Notes of the Sleepy--Day 173/Day 4/Day 33/Day 10 (still)

2008-10-29T23:29:00.003-04:00

We are having our bi-annual audit at work on Thursday. There used to be a few people in my department besides the quality manager. After a layoff and one member going to one of our nearby facilities, it's just me. The work is not particularly difficult, but there are a lot of t's I need to make sure are crossed and plenty of i's that need dotted. One possibly large t needed to be crossed, so I took some work home with me. It took quite a bit of time and I could only work on it after leaving Awana's, dropping off my neices, dropping off Jiselle, dropping off the kids at home, dropping off Garrett at home, and then finally home again. Even then, there are kids to kiss and prayers to say. Once I was mostly done with the paperwork, I went to my blog and wrote:

Awanas. Audit stuff partially done. My kids are awesome.

I was tired. I knew I wrote something, but I didn't know what. As I said in the previous post, I wrote a few things on my mind and then logged off.

In order of appearance:

1. Awana's was fun as usual. Many of the kids were dressed up for Awana Be night. Brandi was dressed as a movie star, E.J. as a member of STAND ministry, Carson as a policeman, Sloan as a nurse and Gabrielle was a veterinarian. We had many helpers for our verse time, but we ran over for some reason. That's fine. Counsel time is usually fairly short.

Pastor Don and his magic show was entertaining. The first thing he asked of the children was not to tell others how the trick was done. He repeated this several times. What happens after his second trick (he told his audience how to do the first)? Half the boys are up on there feet telling everyone how to do the trick. LOL. What are you going to do? They're second graders.

Game time was fun as well. First we had to untie ourselves out of the human knot we were put into. This was only after one of the girls exclaimed "You're the one who ate that bug!" The repercussions from that have been fairly minimal. It's only been brought up a couple times. Like I said, I did it for the kids:)

They went outside and received some more candy and we went back downstairs where we wound down for a bit before we left.

2. Not much more to say. I was happy to have the work mostly done.

3. My kids ARE awesome. I'm not sure why I mentioned that. It probably had to do with their prayers. As with many others, my biggest religious epiphany concerned the realization I was not the center of the universe and that I was actually at the end of the list. Not to say I was conceited; I was actually at the other end of that emotional spectrum which can have the same effects. My kids' prayers, while mostly filled with thanks, also ask for help for others; sometimes help for particular people. Sometimes they come up with something that you can really tell is from the heart. I don't think they're going to have the same problem I had. Noah didn't move the whole time. He was already in bed and we were probably keeping him up. I leaned over and gave him a couple kisses. Except for some eye movement and a couple of blinks, he still didn't move. Poor guy. He probably had a long day.

Thank you, Jesus.

Apples to Apples--Day 172/Day 3/Day 32/Day 10

2008-10-28T22:33:00.001-04:00

I cheat. Sort of. Near the end of my day, when I'm tired and ready to go to bed, sometimes after I've already gone to bed, I'll remember the blog and I'll get to the computer and bring it up. I won't write a whole post. I'll just write a couple positive things or whatever happens to be on my mind and log off. I'll usually write the full blog the next day.

It's a good thing I make the rules.

That's an interesting comment on a fairly Christian blog. Many of us know who makes (made) the rules. I know what I'm getting at though.

So, here I am, a day later, thinking about yesterday. What comes to mind first is Kim and I working on our homework and Gabby asking if we want to play Apples to Apples. Kim mentioned to her we were doing our homework and to see if Colton wants to play. She walks away dejected saying Colton already said he didn't. Adam of "Adam's blog" keeps coming to mind, among other things. He was a pastor, realized he may be spending too much time in church and not enough with his wife and, for now, stepped down from his position. Yes, this homework is important. Yes, I enjoy the homework. Yes, God is the single most important thing in my life. But at that moment, how do you say "No."? I told her I'd play with her.

The happenings on Day 85 really stuck with her. Instead of actually playing the game, she wanted to pull out a bunch of cards and try to make funny sentences with them. I was able to do some homework, and make a few funny ones at the same time. They weren't that funny, but Gabrielle was in a laughing mood and laughed anyway. Noah wanted to play too. Instead of the 6 or 7 cards Gabrielle was giving me though, he wanted to give me 100. He kept grabbing a bunch of cards and saying "Here, Dad."

"Here, Dad."

"Here, Dad."

"Here, Dad."

This was frustrating the usually organized Gabrielle, but I just took them and placed them on the table in front of me. She was finally able to get them back in the box in neatly organized stacks after Noah got tired of being so generous.

Whether I cheat or not, it's nice to think about the day before and do some mental digging until I remember something positive. The memories makes me happy and writing them down in blog or journal form keeps them alive.

Curious in Clarkston--Day 171/Day 2/Day 31/Day 9

2008-10-27T22:14:00.003-04:00

Hello, Curious from Clarkston. I've thought about you once in a while when I come to my blog. Not so much while I write, though. That's a good thing. I used to think about a few friends of mine as I rambled on, but no so much lately. One friend has not come by in a few weeks and it's been at least a week or so for the other. I've noticed a few hits from other places in Michigan in the last few days, and noticed you hadn't been by for a while. These facts interest me, but fortunately don't effect what I write. I do wonder a bit though...

Same age, younger or older than me?

Go to my church?

Do you read the Bible?

See me every Sunday (or Wednesday or Thursday)?

Go to church or believe in God at all?

Do you actually live in Clarkston?

Male?

Female?

Do you come here because what I write interests you or is this site just an infrequent stop on an occasional web brousing?

Have I ever written anything you disagree with or personally object to? Have I ever made you smile?

Have you ever prayed before, after or during a reading?

As you can see, these questions and their answers are inconsequential. I am asking for the answers to none of them. The way it is now is perfectly fine with me. I will, however, pray for you. I pray that you have a close personal relationship with our God that loves us. I pray that you see how He has blessed you throughout your day. I hope you find your own positive moments as your days and nights unfold, no matter how small. I pray the Holy Spirit resides in you and your heart is eternally joyous. I pray that you see that God will abide by His word when you are going through a tough time or feel burdened. He will help you through every trial and will carry the burden for you if you let Him.

I'm not just praying for Curious in Clarkston. I'm praying for everyone who has read this far as well as myself. I want to personally know and understand all of the above. Once in a while we all need a reminder.

...

How was my day? Well, thanks for asking. It was good. We went out to dinner. Gabby and I read books to Noah. Fox in Socks was fun. As mentioned at the end of chapter 8 of a Purpose Driven Life, Kim, Colton, Gabrielle and I chose a commmon task that we could start doing as if we were doing it directly for Jesus. Our prayers at the end of the night went well as Noah climbed all over us. I am blessed. Thank you, Jesus.

So, how was yours?:)

God, please bless our babies--Day 170/Day 1 (again)/Day 30/Day 8

2008-10-26T22:43:00.008-04:00

I didn't post yesterday, but I read the bible, read our book and continue to see the positives in life so those counters continue. It's Sunday, so it was a good day. Thank you, Jesus. Actually, it was an excellent day.

I got up intending to get all the kids up and Gabrielle was already up. She was dressed for church and playing on the laptop. We exchanged smooches and I proceeded to go get the boys up. Colton was awake, but not ready to get up. Noah was ready, so I got him up and dressed him. No one wanted breakfast but Noah, so he got some cereal. While finishing getting everyone ready, I managed to talk the kids into trying out Sunday school. I let Kim know what was going on and off we went.

I helped the kids find their classes and I went up to mine. Jim continued his excellent series of walking the walk we talk in Ephesians. This time I need to write down Ephesians 2:1-10 and read it over again. These first couple weeks have been about what out God has done for us. We should be walking a different walk knowing the Holy Spirit has taken residence in us. Not a boastful walk, but a noticeable different than our normal worldly walk. Next week we will delve deeper into exactly how to do this.

After class, I went to see how the kids were doing and Gabrielle's class was wrapping up. She grabbed her things and I asked her if she liked it. She said "Yes". We had to wait a bit for Colton, and when he came out, he wondered when they could go again. We obviously have a wealth of people who have been blessed at our church. There are so many good teachers and leaders and just good people. Jim Buongiorno made the class very enjoyable for Colton his classmates and Gabrielle enjoyed the class with Mrs. McDaniel.

After we had found our seats, Jim Stein found us, introduced himself, and invited me into the sound and video booth to help with the video. I learned a bit, and then went back down to join the rest of the clan before the baby dedication. That was enjoyable as Pastor Don prayed with and for all of us and our children. The congregation agreed to help us as we try to raise our kids in a Christian home with Christian values. I forgot Kim had asked Mary to take some pictures. She did a nice job and I need to remember to tell her so.

After the dedication, I took Noah to the nursery and headed back up into the booth. Sometimes controlling the camera made it hard to listen to the sermon, but once I got the hang of it, it was pretty easy. There's not a whole lot to it, but I'll get better at it the more chances I get. The whole experience--listening to the praise and worship team sing, listening to the Sweetapple's sing, doing the camera work and the sermon--was very enjoyable. I especially liked the Tracy's rendition of "Above All". Of course everyone else was singing as well, but when she takes the lead, we all sound like backup singers. The Sweetapples did their version of "Love is Not a Fight". They were obviously singing from the heart which made it that much better.

Gabrielle went to watch High School Musical 3 while Colton had a friend over. We made pancakes for lunch and Noah had some when he woke up from his nap. Later on, Noah asked me to go downstairs with him and I took my homework with me. I got a little of it done, but not much. Noah and I had a good time playing "house." Kim came home and we worked on our homework together.

Soon after this, the kids worked on their pumpkins. Colton chose a "happy bat" template and Gabrielle chose a witch template. Noah helped getting out some of the goop. The pumpkins turned out very good. We stuck them outdoors and I took some pictures.

Not much to say today--Day 168/Day 17/Day 28/Day 6

2008-10-24T22:45:00.003-04:00

I realize how potentially dangerous playing tag in the house is, but we let the kids and their friends do it anyway. Kim and I played with them for a while including some tag in the dark (double the danger!). Later, Kim and I finished the homework for the Studying the Bible class for the first day. I still have to read the 6th chapter, but I'll get to it eventually.

More Patience--Day 167/Day 16/Day 27/Day 5

2008-10-23T21:46:00.005-04:00

Interesting yesterday's title was patience and my patience with others was really tried tonight. The Studying the Bible class was tonight, but I had a first aid and CPR class that would last till 7, which is when the class starts. Since the church is only about 7 or 8 minutes from my work, that was fine, until I realized that in our small class of 6, there was at least one person who had no where to go when the class was over. Time was not of the essence. I would explain further, but it would go against what I'm trying to do with this blog. It's not about breaking down the negative, dwelling on it or even writing it down.

I prayed for patience. I really did. Someone may have thought I was sleeping for a about 30 seconds or so. It helped for a bit until I quit focusing on Him and resumed focusing on him. I think sometimes with patience, it may take more than one prayer. It may take a prayer to get me refocused on Him and then a determination to remain focused.

Kim and I read chapter 5 tonight of A Purpose Driven Life. That was kind of a surprise. It was late and we were both very tired and I thought we may not read it, but Kim had it on the bed before we even put the kids to bed. In the first couple days, I asked if she was enjoying it and if she thought it would help. It was yes on both counts. She is making an effort to point out different things in it. She pointed out an italicized part of the book and said "That's you." Once I got to that part, I read it, but didn't understand what she meant. She mentioned something I had said a while ago about giving all the glory to God, and not taking any credit ourselves. I read the passage again. Ahhhhhh. I see now. God is Good.

As an aside it is interesting Adam mentioned the story of Jacob and Rachael from Genesis earlier today. We went over the story in about the same amount of detail in class tonight. Angela went over the story of Joseph, Jacob's son, and his coat of many colors, during counsel (story) time during Awana's last night. Jacob and Rachael were mentioned again in chapter 5 tonight.

I added a bunch of Leeland songs to the playlist. "Opposite Way" is not available for the playlist, but it is available on THEIR SITE. They have a couple videos on that page where they talk about getting involved in going the "opposite way" of society and evangelizing to others. Leeland, the lead singer, gets pretty impassioned at one point (actually, they always seem pretty impassioned), and when he's done talking, Jack, another band member starts talking. If you watch Leeland, he looks over to Jack, puts his head down, dabs a tear out of the corner of his eye, and then looks back at the camera. You can tell how intense he had been as he was talking. That great to see out of young people or people of any age when talking about Him.

Glory be to Him.

Patience, Patience...Day 166/Day 15/Day 26/Day 4

2008-10-22T22:23:00.003-04:00

I had an interesting religious conversation with Gil on the way home Wednesday night and he perpetuated it this morning except he wanted to talk about a different conversation this morning. He said that while on a different conversation partially about another mutual friend of ours, it seemed to him that our talk on looking good for others struck a cord for me. He asked me if I thought it was important what other people thought of me.

I told him it was odd that he mentioned that because I was just thinking about that this morning. I'm not going to care what other people think. I just don't like the way that sounds. "I don't care...". I think I'm not going to worry about what other people think sounds better. That was probably because I had read a page or two of that Max Lucado book Kim had given me and one part was on worry and after breaking it down, wrote that only 8% of the things we worry about are things that we can actually change or actually matter. I told Gil that worrying about other people's thoughts used to be a big problem for me. I told him I'm trying to get rid of this. I'd like people to see a difference in me or I'd like them to see how a Christian acts in his daily life, and in the coming months and years I will learn better how to do so.

Speaking of months and years, I don't want it to be months and years. I want that wisdom and knowledge and spiritual confidence now. To quote a favorite movie of mine "I want Him found. Not tomorrow. Not after breakfast. NOW!" The warden from Shawshank Redemption was talking about Andy Dufresne. I'm talking about God. I want everyone to find Him. Now. I want all the knowledge of Pastor Don and Pastor Bob and Dennis and Jim Kirkland. Now. I mean this in what I hope is a healthy way. I know this walk with Jesus is not a sprint to some kind of finish line. I know it is not a race with others. I know all of those men, and many others, have worked and studied hard for the knowledge they have. I just sort of feel like a kid again when it come to being a Christian. I want to soak all the new knowledge in like my kids do. They all seem like sponges to knowledge. They realize the importance of it and continue to do well. I feel the same way. Much of it will come in time. Much of knowledge of these men, or even the knowledge of friends like Mary, Wendy, Jerry, Scott and my best friend Kim may never reach me. I'm just glad, as Jim has mentioned a couple of times, I have an eternity to learn. When you look at it that way, you realize you may as well stop and smell the roses once in a while, so you can enjoy all the beauty that He has created.

This speaks to the patience I'm working on. That is something I'm working on that is right up there with remaining positive. My patience is tested in many different ways. One of those ways is at the Awana's program. I have to be patient with the children as they recite their verses, and I have to be patient with them when I ask them questions about those verses, especially when they have no answers. I have to be patient when they start to get rowdy and patient with them individually when they are not acting as they should. I have to be patient with my daughter as she learns every week and patient with the new kids we are bringing every week.

At Awanas last night, Breanna brought a friend. Her name was Amanda and she was very quiet. I went over the book we give the new Sparks and while she seemed to understand everything I was saying, I don't think she said a word. I hope whe enjoyed herself and keeps coming.

Man, it's fun working with little kids like that. We end up playing with the 1st graders and the kindergarteners as well and many of them seem like just the most innocent little children you could imagine. We're there to teach them what we can, let them have fun while doing it, learn from them if we can, and, most importantly, to glorify God in our lives. We pray that they see that and know that they are there to learn more about Him, to have fun and receive the occasional rewards.

By the time I got home from dropping the last of the children off, it was almost 10:00 and Noah was still up. I was able to put him in bed, and this time we said prayers in Gabrielle's room. Gabrielle always has quite a bit to say. Kim and I had a knowing chuckle after her prayer last night. Sometimes it doesn't seem like the prayer is going to end. It's awesome. Hopefully sometime soon we'll be able to say prayers with Noah and not worry about him crawling all over us while we pray. He makes praying with one's eyes closed and praying without outright laughter nearly impossible. Glory to God for things such as these. Thank you, Lord.

Kids are great--Day 165/Day 14/Day 25/Day 3

2008-10-21T21:16:00.006-04:00

One of the first things I saw when I got home was Gabrielle sitting on the kitchen floor staring at her Awana book with a exasperated look on her face. I asked her what was wrong. She said she was trying to learn all the books of the new testament, but she can't. First, I asked her not to say that word. The word "can't" is almost never helpful. Secondly, I asked her to not look at the page that had all the books on it. I asked her to look at the pages from the week before. The first week she learned Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, I Corinthians, and II Corinthians were the first seven books. Last week she was able to go through the second list (Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, I Thessalonians, II Thessalonians, I Timothy, II Timothy and Titus) and the last list (Philemon, Hebrews, James, I Peter, II Peter, I John, II John, III John, Jude, and Revelations). I asked her to take a glance at those pages again. She rattled off the first seven right away. She had a little trouble with the next 9, but not too much. I asked her about the last 10 and she said she hadn't looked at that list yet. I reminded her she did it just last week and started her off with "Philemon...". She thought about it for a second and started going through that list as well. She always gets stuck on Revelations for some reason. She gets to it this time and says "Don't tell me, don't tell me.............Rev...Reva...Rev...REVELATIONS!!" She gave me a pretty solid high-five and I asked her about them again later. She hardly got stuck at all. I asked her during dinner what the first book of the New Testament was and after a little bit of thought she came up with Matthew. I asked her if she knew what the last book was and she said Revelations after thinking about that one as well. I like that she is open to doing this with me because I am learning too. I wouldn't know the verses I know without going over them with her so often and I wouldn't know the books of the New Testament either. She's been a big help to me and I hope I'm helping her as well. Colton doesn't need as much help with his homework, but he occasionally asks for it and I'll help. I try to go over what he has written as well. Last night he was pretty proud he had finished his first book.

Noah didn't want to play blocks on the floor tonight. He wanted to play in my lap. That's one thing I enjoy about having children. Sometimes they like to be very close. They like to be cuddled right up next to you. Colton is still like that in some ways. When I was looking at another A on a paper last night, he comes up behind me, puts his arm around me, and tells me about the test. I put my arm around him as well and he tells me about the other A as well. I show Gabrielle the 100% he had gotten and tell her she is very smart as well, so I expect at least 102% on all her tests. "Daaaaaad...", she says. Colton has to chime in, "Yeah, you should be getting A THOUSAND percent on your papers!" Sincerly though, I hope they both continue to do well in school.

After blocks, Noah noticed the flash cards and said he was "All done" with the blocks. He grabs the flash cards, grabs one out with a three on it and says "Six, seven...". I show him one with 6 on it and count out the 6 fish pointing at each one of them with my finger. He takes it and points all over the card very quickly "six, seven, eight, TENNNN!" I'm surprised how quickly he's learned his numbers. Kim's gone over them with him more than I have which is why I was surprised when he said "seventeen, eighteen" when picking up a couple cards. That's another great thing about having children: being able to watch them learn and grow.

I created a card today with Ephesians 1:3-8 on it today and read it several times. I have not yet read all of Ephesians, but I intend to do so a couple times before the next class. I also read the third chapter of A Purpose Driven Life. It was also very good. He's doing a very good job at laying down the basics and trying to break down personal barriers or walls that people may put up for themselves. This will allow us to better receive the later chapters in the book.

I'm going to try to put up pictures more often on this blog. Here's a couple of them. They all have nice smiles in the first, and Noah unexpectedly looked at the camera in the second. I really like it.

Happy kids before bedtime...

Praying...

Good Food and Great Grades--Day 164/Day 13/Day 24/Day 2

2008-10-20T22:06:00.006-04:00

Monday. Back to work. I worked on calibrations through much of the day. There are a few other things that I hope to have done by the end of the day tomorrow to be ready for our upcoming quality audit.

After work, Kim wanted to go out to eat so we did so. She wanted to try a Mexican place out in Davison. I think it had the same name of the place in Lapeer that I don't like much. We thought it might be the same and Kim suggested that we could go to Senor Lucky's in town. We eventually agreed to stay here and try this place out. It was a good decision. I went with the Mexican dinner. It came with beans, rice and some "stew meat" with torillas. I wasn't sure what that was, but it turned out to be what I thought it was. It was cubes of beef covered in a sauce. Everyone had some of this on their plate and we all really liked it. The rice seemed clumpy and I wasn't sure I'd like it. It was good as well. No one makes beans like my mom, so whenever I go to a Mexican restaurant, I have something to compare it to. I like the restaurant beans about 50% of the time. These were pretty good as well. We were all full as we left.

While there, Colton said he had gotten a C on his progress report. He said he had gotten it in science and seemed to be really surprised he had gotten a C. It seemed like he was trying to explain it away in one way or another. I was dreading this day: the day when his grades drop. Not that I believed it would happen, and I hoped it never would. He's always done really well and got all A's in the last semester last year. I asked Kim what sort of punishment would be necessary. I already had something in mind, and knew we would need to help him out more, but I wanted her input. I don't think Colton heard us, but he said "I didn't get a C on my final grade. Just on a quiz." We both looked at each other and laughed. I think it was a laugh of relief. Kim asked him what he got in science. "An A, I think." "What about the rest?", she asked. "A's and B's." "More A's than B's?" "Yeah, I think so." We checked out the report when we got home. It was all A's. There wasn't a B on any of 6 final grades. We were very proud of him, and I asked Kim later what the reward should be since I think there should be a flip side to punishment. She asked what I thought motivated him. I told her I think part of it is knowing that were proud of him and he is proud of himself. Besides that, to be honest, would be video games. We haven't come to a conclusion yet, but we'll think of something.

The kids read their library books on the way home, which is always nice. Later, as they went to bed, Gabrielle asked if she could study her books of the Bible for Awana's while in bed. I wanted to make sure they get enough sleep because they get up so early, so I told her no. Now I feel this was the wrong decision. On one hand, I want them to know when bedtime comes, it's time to go to sleep. On the other hand, I had liked that she asked and would've liked her to study them if that's what she wanted. I'll talk to her tonight. Please bless all our children, God. I pray I am blessed with the knowledge to raise them correctly.

I put Noah in pajamas and put him in bed. We all said prayers at Colton's bed. Gabrielle started praying and Kim whispers, "Mark...". I look over and she points to Noah. He is laying in bed, with his head on his pillow and his hands clasped together. I wish I had a camera for moments like that, but thankfully God gave us memories.

The counters I use are an inspiration to me. 164 days of positivity seems like a long time. Thirteen days of continual posting is not bad at all. Twenty-four days of reading the Bible is most definitely a personal record. Kim and I read chapter 2 of A Purpose Driven Life. It really is a great book and after I read chapter three tomorrow night, I'll probably read the first two again. Thank you for inspiration, Lord.

Full Circle--Day 163/Day 12/Day 23/Day 1

2008-10-19T23:06:00.004-04:00

I got up early enough to get the kids ready and head off to the Adult Sunday School. I dressed Noah warmly and then we had a bowl of Fruity Pebbles together. He had seconds. Colton and Gabrielle were ready to go as were there friends they were bringing (Ashleigh and R.J.). Kim was up by then, I gave her a kiss, and left.

We went over Ephesians 1:3-8 after first going over several questions on what it meant to be and act like a Christian. We broke down those verses rather than just read them and we could really see how much God loves us, chose us, predestined our lives, and "freely bestowed" his glory on us. He asked that we write this section down and read it several times a day and also read the whole book of Ephesians. I'm looking forward to doing so.

I'm glad my attitude has changed in that before I was waiting for this more religious part of my life to end for one reason or another. I am confident now that it won't. God has my heart and is not letting go.

Once Kim got there, I took Noah to the nursery. As I was leaving, they mentioned they were going to go ask Pastor Don to announce that they needed another helper. I volunteered Kim and she was glad to help. The sermon was about the qualities of a good wife and of a good husband. Colton and R.J. stayed with me and since they usually do not, and did not have a bible they grabbed one from under the chairs and read along with us. Before that, they both sang with us with Colton mentioning before the first song that it was one of his favorites. He said the same thing about one of the next ones as well. The week before, he had asked us to turn up the radio when Come, Now is the Time to Worship came on the radio. He said this was one of his favorite songs even before he knew what it meant to be a Christian. That was pretty cool.

I remember feeling incredibly uncomfortable when at other churches when we were asked to turn and greet our neighbors. I've never been the social type, so without knowing the Lord, I felt I was just shaking some strangers' hands. We were asked to do so early in the service and I shook the person's hand next to me (Lord, will I ever remember people's names after they introduce themselves?), Scott, Mary and Allison's hands, a man two rows in front of me (he seems like the type that likes to laugh often), the woman next to me a few people in the row behind me and I shook Jenni's hand who was reaching across the row behind me to shake my hand. I know her from the bible study class and really enjoy what she has to say during the class. I also see her during Awana's once in a while. It came across as a very sweet thing to do as she stretched across the row to greet me. She is really a very sweet woman.

After shaking all those hands, I realized I had come full circle. Rather than shaking a couple hands of the people next to me in my row, I had gone in a full circle to greet every one and even went outside my immediate circle. This felt like a metaphor for my religious life. Adam had used a circle as a example of our attention to God in our life. Some are turned 180 degrees from Him while others are about 120 degrees from him. That was probably me a few months ago. Now, I agree with his assessment. I am right there with him...for a while. I still waver about 30 degrees from Him before coming back to Him throughout the day. This may happen when I'm reading the bible, talking to the kids, doing something with the church or while I'm lost in thought. I would like it if I never wavered from Him. I'd like it if I was right at 0 degrees ALL THE TIME. This takes great fortitude and dedication after not knowing Him for so long. It seems like it should be really easy. Maybe it is.

I also felt like I was at the center of all this friendliness. Sort of like making a circle with a compass, there has to be a stationary point in the middle to make it perfectly round. This was a moment I had to look at through God's eyes. He would not see me at the center. He would see a whole church full of friendliness and greetings. Even if me being in the center was important at all, it would not be about me: it would be about the circle itself and the people reaching out to me. The main point should be God is at the center, not any of us. It was a pleasant internal message to remember.

Later on, Colton, R.J. and I played some football. R.J. is four years older than Colton, so he had an obvious height advantage. Colton got a few touchdowns against him, and would've had more if I threw a more accurate ball, but R.J. was obviously winning. I suggested Colton become all time Q.B. This worked out much better. I have a height advantage on R.J., but Colton was throwing some amazingly accurate passes. I think both R.J. and I both got touchdowns on every possession.

On one rather humorous play, R.J. had the ball behind our playset trying to figure out which way to run. Colton was on the other side of it ready to get him. I decided to flush him out by running at him from his right and making him go into the open field. It worked perfectly and Colton began chasing him. I did the same by jumping over the small, yellow slide coming off the playset, except my foot caught the top of it. Imagine tripping over something at full speed as you are jumping. You get pretty high in the air...and then you come straight down. It was like doing a belly flop on very solid ground. It hurt from my chest down to my knees. I must've been perfectly parallel to the ground. Fortunately, R.J. didn't get a touchdown. He and Colton were too busy rolling on the ground in laughter. I don't know if they saw it, or just heard the loud grunt as I hit the ground.

R.J. and I wouldn't let it go to a tie and were getting a t.d. every time, so we decided to make a rule that the next t.d. won, but we had to start from inside our end zones to make the field longer. On second down, I did not even turn towards the ball and just put my hands up. I got hit in the back with the ball as Colton tried to get it to R.J. I did the same the next play and I saw R.J.'s eyes look up towards the ball. I put my arms up and the ball sailed inches from the top of my head directly into R.J.'s hand on a full run. It was a very nice pass and a great way to end the game. I'm not sure what the score was, but we were exhausted, thirsty and one of us thought he had broken his sternum:).

I had worked on my homework throughout the day, and finally finished it before midnight. I had told Wendy I was mostly done with it earlier in the day, not realizing all that we had to do. I had finished the letter from God, but felt I had to make some more changes to make it a bit more personal. The scripture kung fu took quite a while, but I enjoyed it.

That is one word I'm writing very often: enjoy. I noticed the same about a different word a couple months ago: beautiful. Yes, I would say my life and attitude has changed and in a very good way. I enjoy all that is beautiful. God bless everyone. Praise Him.

A Purpose Driven Life--Day 162/Day 11/Day 22

2008-10-18T23:06:00.005-04:00

Yesterday, Adam mentioned the famous book by Rick Warren called "A Purpose Driven Life." I came across it today in our small collection of books. It asks that you only read one chapter a day to soak it in. It also suggests that you read it with a partner so you can discuss things. Even though Kim had already read part of it some time ago, I asked her if she'd mind starting over so we could read it together. She agreed to and we signed the covenant at the beginning of the book. I'm looking forward to the next 40 days of reading it with her. I will add this counter too.

I wanted to get something for Kim for sweetest day and Gabrielle and Noah went with me. I got a haircut and Gabrielle got her bangs trimmed. She looks really cute. We went to Meijers where I chose to get her a book by Beth Moore much like the book she had gotten me by Max Lucado. We ended up spending three hours around town. Kim called to make sure we o.k. :)

Colton decided not to go to his football game so he could go to a Red Wing game with a friend. He had never been before, and he really enjoyed himself. While he was gone, we played poker with some friends. The cards were cold for me most of the night, but I enjoyed having friends over. We enjoyed ourselves as well.

It was a good day and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'm going to the adult Sunday school for the first time. Hopefully that goes as well as everything else has for me at church. Kim is staying home with the kids, but hopefully she'll be able to go in the future even if that means I stay home and she goes.

I found out what the name Ten Shekel Shirt came from. They have an interview with a band member on their site tenshekelshirt.com that said:

Q. What does the name of the band mean?
A. We get this question a lot. And we’ve heard some good guesses. I think my favorite was about a guy skinny dipping in Israel who had all of his belongings stolen except for a cheap, ten shekel shirt (10 shekels = $3 USD .) Although this is not what the band was originally named after it does make for a funny mental picture if you can imagine a guy trying to cover himself up with only a small shirt as he runs frantically throughout the Holy Land.

The real deal goes like this. It’s kind of long and heady so bear with me. We named the band in part after a sermon I heard in the 90’s called “Ten Shekels and a Shirt” and in part because the combined words were quirky and original. For those of you wanting to know what the sermon was about I’ll summarize it and give you my updated perspective. The famous sermon was preached in the 50’s and passionately suggested that missionaries would get off track if they allowed anything other than God to take the central place in their work. He used the biblical example of a Levite in Judges 17 and 18 who sold-out for ten shekels and a shirt. I still agree with the general concept here. It doesn’t take a rocket theologian to see that the church has oft been corrupted by the love of money and selfish ambition. But then the preacher makes the tragic mistake, along with much of the 20th century evangelical church, as he attempts to separate two things that are inextricably linked – love for God and love for oppressed neighbors. Jesus never divorced those two concepts. In fact he said things like, “whatever you’ve done for the least of these (poor, homeless, hungry...) you’ve done for me.” And the bible as a whole could not link those actions more intimately. In the original Hebrew and Greek languages the words used for righteousness (which is about a right relationship with God) are the exact same words used for justice (right relationship with oppressed people.)

In the sermon the pastor talks about misguided humanists trying to “improve on the justice of God” by helping suffering people. That’s an extremely dangerous and silly notion. I’m not sure how I missed that during my first listen. I don’t think God rebukes anyone for loving others. He works through many different kinds of people...surprisingly even me on rare occasions. Any time there is a true act of love, compassion, mercy or justice, God is present. He is right there, actively working through the mess of flesh and bones and emotions that we are, no matter our dogma or creed. I get a kick out of Jesus' story of the “Good Samaritan.” The good guy in the story isn’t one of the “chosen people.” In fact he is some foreigner with a different religion.

Good Sam didn’t proclaim that he was only doing this for “God’s glory” as the sermon suggests we do, he simply saw someone in need and helped him. Thankfully the church and humanitarians are beginning to respect each other again and make some significant progress together. I could go on and on but I’m sure some of you are waiting for the exciting punch line, like the sharks in “Finding Nemo” waited for Marlin the clown fish to complete his joke.

So there you have it, that’s where the name originally comes from. Now I expect all of you to remember my theological dissertation when thinking about our band name, or if you prefer you can choose to think about the poor chap still running around Israel wearing only a ten shekel shirt.

Going Without Knowing--Day 161/Day10/Day 21

2008-10-17T19:52:00.004-04:00

Another thing I enjoyed from the class yesterday was Jim's use of the phrase "going without knowing". I feel like I've been walking sort of blind for the past few months hoping God's will was and is being done by me and others. I like the phrase "going without knowing" more.

Today was a good day.

As I mentioned, the assignment of the week was to write Proverbs 2 as if it was a letter from God to us. One of the things Jim mentioned early on was to share our work so I've been e-mailing all my assignments to everyone in our group. I've received Wendy, Jenni and Kim's assignments in return. I was unsure if I should originally, but again, this was a going without knowing sort of thing. I did it and am pleased I did because I learned some good things from and about others by doing so. This time, I'm putting my assignment on my blog. Why? I don't know. I don't think this is the final draft though. This still seems like how I would interpret God's words rather than how He would write it if He was human again. I'll continue to work on it, but this is a start:

My son, if you receive my words (and I know you will), treasure my commandments within you, make yourself attentive to wisdom, incline your heart to understanding, cry out hungrily for discernment, call out for understanding, and seek me with all your heart, soul and mind, then you truly find out what it means to fear me. If you remain humble and honest, you will receive my wisdom. I will be a shield to those that live according to my word. I will guard your path and preserve the way of my children who believe. Wisdom will enter your heart, knowledge will be pleasant to your soul, discretion will help guide your way and the understanding you receive from me will watch over you.

If you do what I ask, and receive these blessings, you will be delivered from evil paths, from men who speak what should be left unspoken and from those who leave the path of righteousness to walk in the way of darkness. There are people who love to do evil and rejoice in the perversity of it. Their paths are crooked and they are devious. I can deliver you from these men as well. I can deliver you from those who do not value wisdom and will try to lead you from me by their words. They have left everyone they are close with and have forgotten about me. Anyone who is persuaded by this evil will be lead to death. I love you and do not wish this to happen, so do as I ask and you will walk in the way of good men and stay in the path of the righteous. Those who do will come to me in heaven and I will be there for you. Those who choose to remain wicked and treacherous will be cast out. Choose wisely, Mark.

Post #100!!--Day 160/Day 9/Day 20.

2008-10-16T23:12:00.005-04:00

There's something to be said for purposely understating things. One could say "I give glory to God for the ocean and its' beauty." You could also say "There's something about the ocean that makes me rise up and praise." I like those first few words from the chorus of Ten Shekel Shirt's song "Ocean". That's interesting to call God's work and it's beauty and our total awe of it just...something. I get the idea. Very well put and I'm going to have to find out what a Ten Shekel Shirt is.

Today is my 100th post. Since this is my 160th day, I could look at this negatively and realize that means I missed 2 months worth of blogging. That's not what this blog is about though. It's about looking for the positive things in my day and giving glory to God for them. I know there were quite a few posts that spoke of more than one day. I think all in all, I've missed talking about happiness on a very few days. I looked over the blog and I enjoy reading most of them. There are a few where I think I was thinking along the wrong lines, but that's to be expected. I'm not perfect. I feel it necessary to mention Day 13 in particular. We still love and miss you, Debbie.

I enjoyed the bible study tonight for many reasons even though it was shorter than most. At one point, my attention was grabbed so quickly I almost hurt myself. I was going over the scripture Jim was reading and he says "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" I snapped my neck very quickly towards the screen he was reading off of. I can't believe I never researched that, I thought. By "that" I mean my middle name before I was adopted. It was Eloy which is how "Eloi" is pronounced. I didn't like it at all and was glad my parents changed it to Ray. I just find it incredibly interesting that in the nearly 30 years since I was adopted I never found out what it means. I figured it was just a name. I wonder if they knew what it meant. I think it was my birthfather's first or middle name. I looked it up and found that in Spain it means "renowned warrior". In French, it means "the Chosen One." Either one of those meanings describe God in one perspective or another. It looks like that is where the name "Eli" comes as well meaning "God" in Greek.

The homework is to take Proverbs 2 and rewrite it so that God is talking to us in particular. That's a pretty cool assignment. I'm looking forward to doing it. It will help that I have it memorized. Not that I mind having the bible open while doing my homework, but I also enjoy the ability to just use my heart and mind to describe His words to me.

Kim and I would like to start attending Jim's adult Sunday School class. I pray that we're able to. I like how I ended Day 18 and am surprised I never did it again. What better time than now? What better place than here?

Dear Lord, You are the wise, loving, merciful, knowledgeable, strong, and powerful God. You have changed my life. I thank you for dying for my sins and I thank you for coming into my life. I am a sinner and am blessed that you are so merciful and loving. Thank you for Kim and Colton and Gabrielle and Noah. I could not ask for a better family. Thank you for everyone in Kim's family and everyone in my family. We are all blessed. Thank you for my church family. It's wonderful to have so many of your children come together to praise you every week. Thank you for my friends. I pray that you bless them all. I pray that you touch each of them in the way only you can. I pray for those who are sick and those with troubles that are heavy on their heart. I pray for the person who must've been severly injured in that car accident today. I pray for his family and the family of the man who hit him. I understand that tragedies like this happen, and eventually good will come out of all of this. I pray for the leaders of the world, the leaders of my country, the leaders of my state and the leaders of churches. Bless Pastor Don each Sunday as he teaches us Your Word. Bless our new president and have him do Your will. Continue to touch the lives of Dennis and Jennifer and Adam and Jim and Wendy and Jenni and Jim Kirkland and Kim and I and the kids as you have done so powerfully in the past few weeks, months and years. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.

The Finer Points of Thumb Wrestling--Day 159/Day 8/Day 19

2008-10-15T21:57:00.004-04:00

We enjoyed our time at Awana's this week. After the children recited the verses, they had some to kill before counsel time. I had introduced to Sloan (sic?), shook her hand and then wouldn't let go. I acted like she was doing it and she got a giggle out of it. She thrust her hand forward as if she wanted me to do it again and I obliged for a second. Other kids thought we were thumb wrestling, so I began to get challenged. I probably played with about half the room at least once and am proud to say I only lost twice.

Game time was fun as usual. The kids get a little loud, but that's to be expected. I have some 1st graders and kindergartners as well as second graders in my "green" group. They're some very sweet kids with wide eyes and joyous hearts.

I have Proverbs 2 completely memorized. It started out as a challenge to myself and to see if I would learn more from it the more I recited it. Halfway through, I was looking forward to finishing it so I could meditate on it. I did so, but not as much as I wanted to. I will continue to try to do so.

I'm looking forward to the bible study class tomorrow.

This Is My Desire--Day 158/Day 7/Day 18

2008-10-14T15:38:00.005-04:00

I was talking to Kim last night about God working through us and how much joy we are supposed to personally take for that. If we are giving all the glory to God for it, I don't think there is supposed to be any glory left for us. I am thinking now of the Lord working through other people and how beautiful I find that. I am moved to tears sometimes. That's sort of the reason this all started. I felt I was moved to tears too often, and while I felt I could control other parts of my emotional immaturity, that was a tough one. I sought a professional, and after one session, I was asking Adam about giving my heart to the Lord because the professional wasn't the way I was going to get over that hump. Fast forward to the present and that hump is still there. I, with God's help, have moved past so many other things and am working on many others, but I am still moved to tears by many things, but most of the time it is because of beauty: the beauty I see in others including friends from work, friends from church or my wife or children. On day 39 I wrote:

(Edgar Allen) Poe considered sadness to be the highest manifestation of beauty...

"Beauty of whatever kind in its supreme development invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears. Melancholy is thus the most legitimate of all the poetical tones" (Poe, 1850).

That was really something to think about. I find beauty in:

Noah, as he learns new words

Gabrielle, as she sings loudly in the back seat of the car.

Colton, as he shows me another A he is proud of and wants us to be proud of him.

Kim, as she reaches across the car to grab my hand.

Adam, and the immense patience he speaks with when I ask him questions.

Pastor Don, and the wondrous way he preaches his sermons.

Pastor Bob, and his humor.

Dennis, and the passion in which he speaks.

Jeremy Camp

The last one is a new one. I've heard him sing before, but this morning I'm in my office doing some work, and going over the conversation Kim and I had in my head. Over my speakers, a guitar plays slowly and grabs my attention.

"You want to be real.", he sings.

"Well, yes, I do, God", I think.

"You want to be empty inside."

"Yes, I do."

"You want to be someone laying down your pride."

"More than anything."

"You want to be someone someday laying it all down before the King."

"Yes, Lord"

"You want to be whole."

"I hope I can."

"You want to have purpose inside."

"I do feel I have a purpose now."

"This is my desire. This my return.
This is my desire: to be used by you."

Man, that song hit me hard. I still find myself worrying about the particulars, when this is all I want. I want to do His will and be used by Him. I want to be used to help my family and others. There's a lot of great songs out there, but if you're a Christian, this song should really hit home for you.

If you're not a Christian, I hope one day you realize God sent His son to die for you because He loves you so much. The Perfect One who created everything cares for you. That's more than amazing. When you take Him into you're heart, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Leftovers from Sunday. Monday was good too. Day 157/Day 6/Day 17

2008-10-13T21:11:00.004-04:00

Roger's skit. Warm day. Seeing Ben and Carson. Proverbs 2. Walk to the chocolate milk store. Gabrielle quizzing me. Perfect weather. Me quizzing Gabrielle. Apple pie and ice cream. Sleep.

Day 156/Day5/Day 16

2008-10-12T21:29:00.004-04:00

I never would have imagined I would look forward to going to church every Sunday. It'd be nice if the whole family could enjoy it together, and someday that would be a reality. What I enjoy most is the praise and worship time. It's wonderful to see how people choose to praise Him. I was struck the most this week by Mary. She is so fun-loving and joyous during Awanas. She is obviously much more relaxed at church. That was especially noticeable when I looked over at her singing alone in the front row. We were singing "Give You My Heart". As many of us do, she probably knows the words by heart and was singing with her eyes closed. Relaxed wouldn't be the word. She looked peaceful. She seemed to be singing with her heart more than anything. It was beautiful.

There was a man behind me with his arms raised high. I never saw who it was, but it doesn't matter. He was enjoying his time with the Lord.

There was a woman to my right raising her hand as well. I think it's wonderful people are moved to do different things.

I could hear the people behind me singing loudly. I hope everyone there is singing to Him rather than just singing.

Scott was in a praying mood today. We prayed after just about every song. We have a great praise and worship team and Scott is a good leader and speaks very well.

I watched some football and then spent much of my time with Noah outside in the little house we have in the backyard. He also had me slide down the kids slide and push him on the swings. He wanted me to swing next to him and push him as well. After that he swung on the triangles hanging from the trapeze and then swung on the trapeze itself. We came in soon after because we were thirsty. I seem to have a perpetual thirst. Praise God.

T.G.I.S. --Day 155/Day 4/Day15

2008-10-11T23:59:00.004-04:00

Another 11:59 post. :)

I woke up in a bad mood today.

Thank you, Jesus.

The particulars are unnecessary to talk about, but it didn't last long. We went to the park for some trick or treating. The walk was refreshing, the weather was nice, and the company was good. We really need to remember to bring the camera with us more often.

Later on we went to Past Tense to get cider and pumpkins. From there, we used a gift from my parents and went out to eat. Dinner for 5 only cost $10.

It turned out to be a good day and every day can be, no matter how it starts.

T.G.I.F.--Day 154/Day 3/Day 14

2008-10-10T23:45:00.004-04:00

I woke up in a good mood.

Thank you, Jesus.

I had a feeling it'd be a good day. I had a feeling the stock market wouldn't have another big fall today. They feeling changed after an early meeting that tired everyone out and after I was told the Dow opened down 800 points. At the end of the day, though, it was only down a little over 100.

I had an enjoyable day at work. I got some things finished and Adam and I shared a few good laughs over some old movies we watched.

I was going to go out to lunch today, but I had already gone out once this week, so I decided not to. I was rather hungry while playing cards. God provided lunch. Within minutes of sitting down, a corporate meeting ended and they brought down their leftovers. There were plenty of Jimmy John subs, chips, pop and large cookies. They were delicious. While I was grabbing mine, I could hear Carl, the joker, and my current euchre partner, say "I love Jimmy Johns. Sure beats this soup." He looks at Jerry. "Sure beats that frozen pizza you got there." He looks at Tom. Sure beats that sub that been in the machine for a month." He looks at me. "Sure beats watching other people eat." I guess you had to be there, the guy is a riot. Seriously.

I made a trade in my fantasy football league that I liked. My team isn't doing that great, but I'm turning it around. Hopefully I get a win this week.

Jim gave me some bible tabs and some bible ribbons for Kim and I. It was quite a kind gesture.

Colton called and asked me on the way home if he could stay the night at his friend, Zach's. The night before, I had let him stay at a friend's house while we went to the bible study, but told him to study the 11 state capitals he needed to know for the test on Friday. I picked him up a few hours later, and asked him if he had studied. To his credit, he was honest and told me no. I went over them with him on the way home and he only knew a few very well. I told him he had to get all 11 right on the test or he'd be grounded. I studied with him the rest of the night repeating "Arkansas" every other state because he seemed to have the most trouble with it. By the time we were done, I was pretty confident he'd do well. Back to the present, after he asked me about staying the night, I told him,"It depends. What's the capital of Arkansas?" "Little Rock", he said, without missing a beat. I went through the rest of them and while he made a couple mistakes, they were both very quick mistakes. As soon as he said the wrong capital, he knew it was wrong and corrected himself. I was proud of him and convinced he had done well. I told him yes.

Gabby then called and asked if she could have a friend over. I told her yes as well. Kim made dinner while I did the running around, then she started playing a game of poker. It's been a long tournament so far (four and half hours right now) and she has done well.

I did the homework for the bible study class while she played. It was a little confusing, but I'll keep going over it throughout the week. I sent the rough draft out to the other women in my study group. I also wrote down the first letter of every word in Proverbs 2 that we're studying. I think I can memorize it. We'll see.

Days like this are good. Days where you wake up feeling the presence of God with you immediately. Days where your heart feels so full of the Lord, it could burst.

GOD IS SO GOOD.

Day 153/Day2/Day 13

2008-10-09T11:48:00.001-04:00

Another video I found.

A SHORT LOVE STORY IN STOP MOTION from Carlos Lascano on Vimeo.

The How to Study the Bible class was tonight as usual. I enjoyed it as usual. Late in the class, Jim meditated on a subject close to Him. I thought it was a moving experience. Not that I was moved to tears, but I thought it was another awesome way to get a point across. He almost never sounds like he's simply teaching in that he doesn't usually sound like he just reading off a piece of paper (which he is, though). He really, really sounds like he really believes what he's saying. He sounds like a man that is immensely enjoying what he's doing.

I never had a problem being the only man at a table of Kim and 4 other women. Jim has made a couple jokes about them working against me. They are not, of course. I really enjoy their company. In the first class, Jim mentioned how important it is to make this a group experience, so every time I finish my homework, I send it to them. We've gotten e-mails back from Wendy almost every time and we've received a couple from Jenni. When I read their answers, I look for something to discuss; something that makes me wonder what they mean or why they wrote what they wrote. I haven't found anything yet. Everything I've seen from everyone, including Kim, makes perfect sense. It makes me go back and re-evaluate my homework. It was a leap of faith to send out my homework, especially the second one, but I'm very glad I've done it. I've got some insight into some Christian women's thoughts and it's been wonderful. If God had a hand in placing me at that table, I've been truly blessed.

Thank you, Lord.

Day 152/Day 1/Day 12

2008-10-08T22:42:00.005-04:00

After 10 consecutive days of posting, I forgot to post yesterday. I got a surprising late e-mail from a friend, began a reply and ended up forgetting all about it.

Colton's team won what could have been his team remaining football game. Instead, they go to the playoffs next Tuesday. He's looking forward to it as am I.

Tonight was Awana night. I'm so proud of the kids. They're proud of themselves as well. I don't think Gabrielle knew what she was capable of learning so many verses and books of the New Testament. As far as I can tell, they're both well behaved kids while they're there. I've enjoyed working with all of them. A couple are a handful, but it's partly a test in patience.

Noah, the Cute--Day 150/10/10

2008-10-06T21:51:00.008-04:00

I'm enjoying the How to Study the Bible class and I feel fortunate to have found this class when I did.

I hadn't mentioned on here how I wrote down Psalm 119 (partly because of day 143) in it's entirety last week. I enjoyed what it said so I started again, this time doing the NASB version rather than the NIV. I should finish that up tomorrow. Maybe I'll try the King James version. I'd like to study it after a few more weeks of the class and see what I get out of it.

I like when Noah grabs me when he need something. It's almost as if he doesn't think I'll get up or walk his way if he just tries to ask me to. Gabrielle and Colton were doing their own thing, so I asked Noah what he wanted to do. Cars? Blocks? Trains? The latter caught his attention so, even though I was standing right next to him, he grabs my finger and says "C'mere, Daddy. C'mere." He leads me to the stairs and starts crawling up. I crawl up right behind him which makes him giggle all the way up the stairs.

I pull out the train tracks when we get up there, but he seems fairly disinterested in it. I grab the cars and we play with those for a bit. Then he gets up to see what he can find in the toy box. He finds a number book with a pig on the front. "Pig.", he says, wrinkles his nose up and makes the pig noise. I'm laying on my side on the floor, so he walks right to me, does a 180 and slides down my midsection to the floor. "Book, Daddy." I get through half of it and he's turning pages to the end (I swear, he's got the attention span of a two year old. Fortunately, he is two. :P)

He puts the book away and grabs the gear toy. It has several colorful plastic gears that can be placed on it. There's a main gear already permanately fixed to the toy, so when other gears are placed just right, they all spin. I grab a couple gears and he puts them on.

"More, Daddy, more." I grab a few more.

"More, Daddy, More." as I look for the remaining gears. I find a few more.

"More, Daddy, More." as I look for the remaining three. I find two. He puts them on there and sees the missing space.

"More, Daddy, More."

"No more, Noah."

"Oh."

He pushes the big red button and his eyes light up as the toy lights up and plays music. Then the gears start turning. His eyes are all over the toy at once. It stops and he pushes the button again. I put my fingers in it to show him that he can if he wants to. It stops, and he pushes the button again. He puts his finger on the big green gear making it all go and I think he notices how it slows everything down. He does it again, but this time harder. It slows wayyyyy down. He must've thought that was pretty cool, because this went on for a while. We'd take the gears off and try to put them back on. If you put some on in between others, you have to put them on just right. He didn't get that concept, so he'd say "Stuck." and hand it to me. they can be put on normally, or upside-down. When they're upside-down, you can see the hollowed out part of the gear. I thought it was pretty cool when he says "No, Daddy." as I placed them on. He grabs one and flips it around. He grabbed a couple other upside-down ones and placed them as he thought they should be. Eventually, he even got bored of this, so I tell him "We'll head downstairs now, Noah." You can say almost anything to him and he'll say "Why?" When it's something he doesn't want, he'll say it all drawn out: "Whyyyyyyyyy???" When he thinks it's a game, he'll say it real quick. If you keep answering the question, he'll keep answering/asking "Why?" Answering "'Cause I love you." ends the conversation about 75% of the time. Either that or I get a quick "Why?"

A typical nightly conversation:

"Time for bed, Noah..."

"Whyyyyyy???

"You have to get some sleep."

"I don't want it."

"Give Mommy (Daddy) kisses."

(*Smooch*)"Night-night, Noah."

"Why?"

"'Cause I love you."

Day 149/Day 9/Day 9

2008-10-05T23:31:00.002-04:00

It's Sunday, so as usual, it's a good day. We cleaned the house, I took a walk with Noah, and won a 180 man poker tourney. The kids enjoyed the company of Caleb, Jaselle, Jalina, and Jianna.

Pastor Don's sermon was on marriage. It will continue to be on marriage throughout the month. He told some funny stories and there were plenty of laughs. Probably because many people related to what he was saying.

Since I put the counter on a little while ago, I've noticed repeated visits from Lake Orion and Oxford. I'm intrigued to know who those people are and if they know me. I'm not saying really want to know; it just makes for some good mind chatter.

Back on Day 27 (wow. that's a long time ago.) I asked for some peace at church, and I received it. It was an unexpectedly nice feeling. Today I felt that again. Maybe I do everytime I go to church now, but today it was noticeable. I even feel it many times outside of church. I think having joy in my heart more often gives me more peace. I still dwell on things and worry and get angry and lose my patience, but they've all been dialed way down. Life is a little scary nowadays because of the economy and upcoming election, but at the end of the day, Life is good. God is good. If you're still reading this, please praise Him. He deserves it.

Saturday:) --Day 148/Day 8/Day 8

2008-10-04T23:59:00.003-04:00

Today started earlier than my Saturday's usually start. I woke up and it was very dark. I wondered immediately what time it was and why my alarm hadn't gone off. I thought I should get up and check so I wouldn't be late for work. Oh yeah, I thought. Today's Saturday. That was a good feeling. I went back to sleep.

I started on this blog later than I usually start. Kim and I were watching a movie I'd watched before, Lucky # Slevin, and I looked at the clock. 11:59, it said.

Oh no, I thought. I haven't blogged yet.

Very casually, I walked to the computer and maximized the minimized blog (I often turn it on to listen to my playlist.) I signed in and began blogging. Then I'll go to sleep.

In between went well. I awoke to a kiss, then Noah came in the bedroom. Then he walked out. Later on, the kids had some birthday parties to go to, and I started on my homework. I'm stuck on exactly what Jim wants us to get out of the definitions. I could just define the words, but it seems he may want more. Maybe something at church tomorrow will help out. Maybe something will just click. Maybe he just wants definitions.

After the kids came home, we went and had family pictures done. Even with all the small children, it went well. We went to Mary's for fish and pizza afterward. It's always good getting the family together. I wondered how I would not manage to dwell on Dennis's, Jennifer's, and Tracy's view of the bible study. I don't want to get to that point. As with everything, it's in God's hands. Where he leads, I will follow.

Terrible Twoness...Day 147/Day 7/Day 7

2008-10-03T23:38:00.003-04:00

I sent a thank you e-mail to a friend this morning and received one back later on in the morning. I was surprised to get a reply so early in the morning, and it was a wonderful e-mail to read.

After the kids came in from playing outside later that evening we went to Don Pablos and then to pick out some clothes. We ran over to Blockbuster to get some movies and spend the rest of the night watching them. Except for the parts where Noah displayed his terrible twoness, it was a relaxing night.

Day 146/Day 6/Day 6

2008-10-02T23:29:00.004-04:00

I ate a worm yesterday. I am so blessed to be able to work with 2nd graders most of the night on Wednesday, but during game time, I work with 1st graders and kindergartners as well. They wanted me to eat a worm, so I ate it. I hope they enjoyed it, 'cause it's never happening again. I know of at least two little boys who went and told their Dad what happened and it must've sounded like the highlight of their night, but it wasn't. By coming to Awana's and listening to the stories from the bible and reading the scripture and memorizing verses and praying they are developing a relationship with God. That is a relationship I never had at that age, but I do not envy them. I'm very happy for them. I hope me eating that worm makes them want to come back or their friends they brought that night come back if even for one more night. Maybe the next time something even cooler will happen. Maybe the next time they are able to memorize a verse for the first time. Maybe the next time they'll make a new friend. Maybe the next time they have their first real talk with God. Although very little, they realize who Jesus is and accept him as their Lord and Savior. I'm not trying to glorify myself for eating a worm. It's all in His hands. I'm just trying to explain to myself what I mean when I say "I did it for the kids."

I worked with E.J., Anna, Carson, and Trent when it came time to recite verses. In one way or another, I made them all laugh. For one reason or another, they made me laugh. Trent brought a friend named Adam. I made him laugh, too. Each of them had a story to tell. I feel like I could've talked to them for at least a half an hour each, and I wanted to, but we only have so much time. They're all so sweet.

Thank you Lord, for putting the fire into my heart to do this. Thank you for all their parents that want their child to know and love God and know that he loves them. Thank you for all the children that come there every week. Thank you for Brenda and her kind heart. Thank you for Mary and her obvious love for kids and our Lord. Thank you for Pastor Don and Lisa and Angela and Michelle and Amy. Thank you for all the Maddock's and McDaniels. Thank you for all the Bierbusses and the Boyles. Thank you for Kim and Colton and Gabrielle and Noah. Thank you for being You. Thank you for being.

Thank you.

Day 145/Day 5/Day 5

2008-10-01T16:13:00.003-04:00

Interesting video with only text and voice. Please watch if you haven't already.

Lost Generation

And...Day 144/Day 4/Day 4

2008-09-30T23:36:00.005-04:00

If you have a few extra minutes on your hands, read Adam's most recent blog. Maybe you should read his very first blog to understand where he's coming from. Today's blog is about a joyous man who withstood a very bad time in his life and realizes he still has things to learn; not only about life, but about God. There is a long road ahead with many twists and turns, but life is turning a new and healing corner.

Yesterday was not a great day, yet I still find it joyous. I'm glad I don't need to dwell on things as much. I'm glad small, good things seem much more wondrous and small, bad things seem that much better. I'm glad I found my watch today. I'm glad Rick is recovering well. I'm glad both Colton and Gabrielle have a friend to take to B.A.R.F. (Be A Real Friend) night at Awana's tomorrow. I'm glad I have three kids and the chatter and arguing and laughing and crying and acts of confidence and acts of frustration and the eating and drinking and cooking and cleaning and the games of catch and the loud singing and quiet whispers and the falling and getting up and playing and punishment and the learning and the stress and the "I love you"'s never seem to end. I'd like to pray it never does, but that is not a prayer God can answer so I will enjoy it while it lasts.

Colton caught a couple very nice punts today. One was a rather spectacular catch and then he ran the ball quite a ways. The second was a good catch as well, and then a look of determination on his face. It rained near the end of the game. It turned into a downright downfall. I, and many other dads, continued to watch this game where Colton's team was winning by over 20 points as drop after drop dripped from our noses. Except, of course, the dads who had checked the weather before they came and had brought an umbrella.

I like rain.

Day 143/Day 3/Day 3

2008-09-29T22:34:00.004-04:00

I notice and enjoy noticing small coincidences (Days 1, 2, and 89). I'm not going to say it's a bad thing until it somehow backfires or I learn something different. I had mentioned to Gil a while ago that people can notice coincidences anywhere if they're in the right (or wrong) state of mind bringing up the main character in "A Beautiful Mind". I don't think I take it to extremes, but I may notice them more than most. I had noticed the final numbers of my "days" were all the same--Day 142/Day 2/Day 2. I thought that was interesting. Maybe I can continue to keep it this way. Later on, I turned my Bible to the first page I'd ever dog-eared. I'm not exactly sure why I did; possibly because Pastor Don stated he was going to try to memorize the Psalm. It is Psalm 119 and it is the longest chapter in the Bible with 176 verses and over 350 lines. That would be quite a feat and would take a lot of work and time. I came to it today and thought I may want to memorize part of it or write it down or study it. Since I started the Bible study class, I've been praying before I read scripture. Instead, I asked God to show me something. I don't know why. I was looking for some reason that would make this passage even more interesting. I probably asked Him to show me something a few times while glancing over all the verses. And then there was my coincidence. Not only did Psalm 119 consume both of the pages I was looking at, but the last verse on the page was...119. Does this change anything for me? Nah. Was God actually "showing" me something. Probably not, but I praise Him for allowing us the joy of happiness. I'll leave it at that.

Here's a list of positive moments throughout my day.

I prayed on the way to work this morning.

I kept my poise at work when I could've gotten angry.

I read the bible at work and wrote down some scripture.

I had an enjoyable discussion with Adam.

Noah prayed at dinner tonight with is hands clasped for the first time I'd ever seen. He also said Amen clear as day.

We laughed a lot at the dinner table together.

After asking Gabrielle to relax and take a breath while continually making mistakes with the same verse, she did so and sat down. She proceeded to say the verse without one mistake. She repeated this process every other time she forgot a word or made a mistake. Maybe she can stick with it.

I received my new NiSB NASB bible (repetitive?) today. I read the introduction and all the specific note taking looks a little haphazard and possibly overwhelming, but that's what I'm taking the class for.

Colton got an A+ on a social studies test.

Kim and I kissed.

Thank you, Lord.